A bully is someone who feels empowered or strengthened by using force, intimidation, teasing, name calling, scare tactics, violence or threats to achieve a desire.   A bully is someone who feels superior or inferior. Their sense of superiority or inferiority can be derived from a variety of areas including their own personal IQ (intellectual quotient – whether high or low); belonging to a particular clique or organization; a religious order; their personal status or their families status in a community; economic standing; or in any other area whereby they feel a sense of superiority or inferiority in relationship to another being.

 

A child who bullies may be bullying out of fear. Children bully based on their environment.  Has the child been bullied, harassed, embarrassed, and/or subjugated to intense scrutiny, intimidation, or pressure?  A bully’s wrath may be due to a conditioning derived from poor, neglectful, or abusive parenting. It is not uncommon for a child who bullies to be dealing with a psychological condition.  A child may have exaggerated fears, anxieties, and a deflated self-esteem.

Bullies are often feeling unacceptable, unapproachable, and unlovable. What is the answer? Are there solutions for dealing with bullies?

1.) Children desire the unconditional love and admiration of their peers, family, teachers, and others; without restrictions or conditions.

2.) Children yearn to belong; to feel a part of a group, a community, and their niche environment.

3.) Children desire someone to show unconditional acceptance, without being punished for it, or angering those who wait upon them.

4.) Children have a desire to have something good occur in their lives.

5.)  A child’s optimism, hope, confidence, conviction, and belief will help him/her to prove resilient.

6.) A child’s optimism strives to persevere, while maintaining hope, confidence, conviction, and belief that there will be something good derived from all he/she encounters.

7.) A child desires to be loved.  Children want to be unconditional loved by those that they deem important.

Bullies are simply crying out to belong, for approval, for acceptance.   Bullies need an ear to hear a shoulder to lean upon. Ultimately, children need an opportunity to discuss their problems.

Schools need to provide an environment that is accepting and nonjudgmental.  It needs to be an environment that is safe.  They should educate their students on their individual rights to safety and care.  Schools can prove the students greatest ally, advocate, mentor, and motivating force.  While teachers are the equivalent of the academic parent, the school is the equivalent of the academic family; therefore, schools should be instilling the power of inclusion.

The educational atmosphere should be unconditionally accepting, motivating, encouraging, loving, affectionate, and supportive. Bullies and those who are bullied should ultimately feel protected by this system and not at odds with it.

There should be placed an emphasis on good communication between the parents and the school.  If something seems out-of-the-ordinary with a student, the student should be given an opportunity to discuss any issues with a school counselor.

All students have the right to a bully free school.  Bullies and those being bullied deserve the right to counsel. Having access to a school counselor is essential for the bully and the bullied. Moreover, having an access to a school counselor is vital for the health of the school.

Bullying should always be considered a serious issue, but humor is sometimes a good way of deflating a potential issue from occurring.  Be resourceful and proactive do not let situations or circumstances get out of control.  Sometimes people need to simply laugh.

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA