By now, you have surely read, heard, or listened to a news broadcast about the state of mental health in this country. We are living in unprecedented times as a nation and as a global community. According to the World Health Organization, the state of mental health ranks as one of the leading causes of disability. Its elevation should be a cause of real concern, especially in relationship to the lives of our children and our youth.
We are living in precarious times. It is a time of global uncertainty, anxiety, and unrest.
Whether you are discussing tensions brought on by economics, the pandemic, the political environment, or the churning of society’s core belief systems; we are in a time of global uncertainty. How does this translate onto the life of a child? Children are the most vulnerable around those that they trust, or in some cases, distrust. Moreover, they are influenced by those who have taken on the role of a caregiver. For many years, I have had a core belief that teachers and teaching staff are simply surrogate caregivers. After all, teachers and staff have direct contact with our children for approximately 6 to 7 hours a day. This may vary depending on the school and if the student rides the school bus, but the reality is, it takes a village to raise a child.
While they spend countless hours with teachers, coaches, and instructors of all types, the truth is, children are more likely to be impacted by issues related to a parent than they are those related to their teachers. Nevertheless, this is not to say that those in direct contact with our children have no influence over their behaviours, attitudes, perceptions or worldview. To the contrary, for we know that whatever the role, the life of a child is capable of being influenced by anyone who plays a significant role in their life. Likewise, we know that a child who is aware of their caregiver’s willingness to seek out care, is influenced by this decision. They are the most receptive to a parental caregiver who is willing to express their own vulnerability and find answers to cope and manage this particular issue. Moreover, we know that teachers, coaches and other staff bring their stresses to work. Yet, we seldom take this under consideration. The probability of a child being influenced and impacted by any adult is higher when they have a direct and ongoing relationship with that child.
Any person can be vicariously affected by an individual they have an ongoing relationship with. Thus, the vicarious affects are significantly higher when we are in direct contact with that individual and they have a position of power or authority over us. Therefore, it is important to recognize that children and youth are in the direct line of influence. They are influenced by the day to day nuances of an individual’s mannerisms, moods, frustrations, and overall personality. They are influenced by an individual’s nonverbal and verbal communications, but we seldom consider the direct and indirect effects of the academic setting on the life of a child. While one may hope that a majority of teachers and professional staff know how to manage their own levels of stress and anxiety, there are those moments that a teacher’s personal life invades the classroom setting. What are we doing to ensure the wellbeing of our children in all environments?
Our mental health has a direct baring upon the life a child. If we refuse the proper care, then this too can have a dire effect. Have you ever worked in an environment that is unfavourable? Have you ever worked with a colleague who brings their personal drama to work? The likelihood is relatively high that you have been indirectly and directly impacted, or even influence, by another’s personal mental health. Please understand that you do not have to speak of your stressor to project your stress on the life of another. Stress and anxiety have this incredible way of boring into our minds. It does not even have to be our own stress or anxiety.
The impact of mental health is not unlike the woodworm. Woodworms have this amazing way of propelling themselves through various timber, by using pincers to bore a hole through wood. Similarly, you may be a solid person. You may have never had a mental health concern or even been exposed to someone with an extreme mental health condition. Yet, just like that solid piece of timber, you are suddenly impacted by something that you never dreamt of. Do not consider yourself weak or of frail mind. Do not allow the naysayers in the back of your mind to dismiss this challenge. Please do understand that mental health challenges have the ability of effecting the strongest of individuals.
Let’s consider the following, adults often have a difficult time confronting a colleague at work, much less their boss, about issues stemming from the workplace. What if, your boss has a grave mental health condition and this is having an influence over your personal performance, what would you do? How would you proceed? Would you consider speaking with this individual? What if, they are not receptive? Would you consider going above their head for support? As a manager, how would you show support for both individuals?
As adults, we should be aware of any protocols and guidelines with which to proceed with our concerns. Now let’s take this down a different path, what if, you are a child? What if, your teacher or someone within the academic setting is causing you undue distress? What if, your teacher’s stressors are having an effect upon you? What avenues do you have to seek out support? Where do you turn to? What if, the issue is coming from the principal? As adults, we know and recognize that there are measures with which to find support for a child. What is the probability that a child knows that there are supports in place to keep them safe? What is the probability that a child knows that they do not have to put up with the egregious behaviours of another, including an adult?
We are in a precarious time indeed! The issues stemming from stress and anxiety are directly or indirectly impacting nearly every person on this planet. By the way, you would be the exception not to have been impacted in one way or another.
Now how do we go about showing support for those that are the most vulnerable? Make your child aware that it is never too late to find help. Make them aware that they are not alone with their personal struggles, and that it is absolutely normal to face such struggles. After all, research has indicated that one in four individuals are facing a mental health challenge. Remind your child of your admiration, appreciation and unconditional love. Encourage your child to have daily, yes daily conversations about their day. Encourage your child to discuss their likes, dislikes, comforts, discomforts, and anything that they maybe feeling. Avoid ridiculing or dismissing your child’s feelings about events, situations, circumstances or individuals who may have influence over them. Show your child support by acting as an advocate and ally. Do not hesitate finding a trained therapist who can offer confidential and compassionate counsel. Be certain that your child is receiving the proper supports in school and at home. Remember that we are actively raising these children together. Parents and teachers you are not alone. Most of all, be certain that your home and school are a safe haven for the life of your child.
*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA
If survived, early-life child abuse left unhindered typically causes the brain to improperly develop. It can readily be the starting point of a life in which the brain uncontrollably releases potentially damaging levels of inflammatory stress hormones and chemicals, even in otherwise non-stressful daily routines.
It can amount to non-physical-impact brain-damage abuse: It has been described as a continuous, discomforting anticipation of ‘the other shoe dropping’ and simultaneously being scared of how badly you will deal with the upsetting event, which usually never transpires.
The lasting emotional/psychological pain throughout one’s life from such trauma is very formidable yet invisibly confined to inside one’s head. It is solitarily suffered, unlike an openly visible physical disability or condition, which tends to elicit sympathy/empathy from others. It can make every day a mental ordeal, unless the turmoil is prescription and/or illicitly medicated.
Still, too many people will procreate regardless of not being sufficiently knowledgeable of child development science to parent in a psychologically functional/healthy manner. They seem to perceive thus treat human procreative ‘rights’ as though they (potential parents) will somehow, in blind anticipation, be innately inclined to sufficiently understand and appropriately nurture their children’s naturally developing minds and needs.
As liberal democracies we cannot or will not prevent anyone from bearing children, even those who selfishly recklessly procreate with disastrous outcomes. We can, however, educate young people for this most important job ever, even those who plan to remain childless, through mandatory high-school child-development science curriculum.
For example, contemporary research reveals that, since it cannot fight or flight, a baby stuck in a crib on its back hearing parental discord in the next room can only “move into a third neurological state, known as a ‘freeze’ state … This freeze state is a trauma state” (Childhood Disrupted, pg.123).
Also known is that it’s the non-predictability of a stressor, and not the intensity, that does the most harm. When the stressor “is completely predictable, even if it is more traumatic — such as giving a [laboratory] rat a regularly scheduled foot shock accompanied by a sharp, loud sound — the stress does not create these exact same [negative] brain changes” (pg. 42).
If nothing else, such a child-development-science curriculum could offer students an idea/clue as to whether they’re emotionally suited for the immense responsibility and strains of parenthood. Given what is at stake, should they not at least be equipped with such valuable science-based knowledge?
After all, a mentally as well as physically sound future should be every child’s fundamental right — along with air, water, food and shelter — especially considering the very troubled world into which they never asked to enter; a world in which Child Abuse Prevention Month [every April] clearly needs to run 365 days of the year.
The wellbeing of all children needs to be of great importance to us all, regardless of whether we’re doing a great job with our own developing children.
But, largely owing to the Only If It’s In My Own Back Yard mindset, the prevailing collective attitude (implicit or subconscious) basically follows: ‘Why should I care — my kids are alright?’ or ‘What is in it for me, the taxpayer, if I support social programs for other people’s troubled families?’
While some people will justify it as a normal thus moral human evolutionary function, the self-serving OIIIMOBY can debilitate social progress, even when social progress is most needed. And it seems this distinct form of societal penny wisdom but pound foolishness is a very unfortunate human characteristic that’s likely with us to stay.
Still, we can resist that selfish OIIIMOBY. If I may quote the late American sociologist Stanley Milgram, of Obedience Experiments fame/infamy: “It may be that we are puppets — puppets controlled by the strings of society. But at least we are puppets with perception, with awareness. And perhaps our awareness is the first step to our liberation.”
Every parent should be knowledgeable about factual child-development science so that they’re more enabled to rear their children in a more psychologically functional and sound manner.
Therefore, I believe, high-school students should be educated for the most important job ever, even those who plan to remain childless. Understanding the science behind every child’s healthy/functional development can at least enable a prospective parent to make an educated decision on how they wish to go about rearing any future children.
If nothing else, child-development science curriculum could offer students an idea/clue as to whether they’re emotionally suited for the immense responsibility and strains of parenthood.
Since so much of our lifelong health comes from our childhood experiences, childhood mental health-care should generate as much societal concern and government funding as does physical health, even though psychological illness/dysfunction is typically not immediately visually observable.
Meanwhile, people will procreate, some prolifically even, regardless of their questionable ability to raise their children in a psychologically functional/healthy manner. I sometimes wonder how much immense long-term suffering might have been avoided had these people received mandatory child-development science curriculum as high-school students.
After all, dysfunctional and/or abusive parents may not have had the chance to be anything else due to their lack of such education and their own dysfunctional/abusive rearing as children.
Still, in the book Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal it’s written that “[even] well-meaning and loving parents can unintentionally do harm to a child if they are not well informed about human development” (pg.24).
Regarding early life or adverse childhood experience trauma, people tend to know (perhaps commonsensically) that they should not loudly quarrel when, for instance, a baby is in the next room; however, do they know about the intricacies of why not? Since it cannot fight or flight, a baby stuck in a crib on its back hearing parental discord in the next room can only “move into a third neurological state, known as a ‘freeze’ state … This freeze state is a trauma state” (pg.123).
This causes its brain to improperly develop. It’s like a form of non-physical-impact brain damage. Also, it is the unpredictability of a stressor, and not the intensity, that does the most harm. When the stressor “is completely predictable, even if it is more traumatic — such as giving a [laboratory] rat a regularly scheduled foot shock accompanied by a sharp, loud sound — the stress does not create these exact same [negative] brain changes” (pg.42).
Furthermore, how many of us were aware that, since young children completely rely on their parents for protection and sustenance, they will understandably stress over having their parents angry at them for prolonged periods of time? It makes me question the wisdom of punishing children by sending them to their room without dinner.
Yet, general society perceives and treats human procreative ‘rights’ as though we’ll somehow, in blind anticipation, be innately inclined to sufficiently understand and appropriately nurture our children’s naturally developing minds and needs.
Meantime, in protest to newly mandated elementary school curriculum that teaches something undoubtedly controversial, a picket sign read, “We don’t co-parent with the government”. But maybe a lot of incompetent yet procreative parents nowadays should.
Mindlessly ‘minding our own business’ often proves humanly devastating. Yet, owing to the Only If It’s In My Own Back Yard mindset, the prevailing collective attitude (implicit or subconscious) basically follows: ‘Why should I care — my kids are alright?’ or ‘What is in it for me, the taxpayer, if I support social programs for other people’s troubled families?’
While some people will justify it as a normal thus moral human evolutionary function, the self-serving OIIIMOBY can debilitate social progress, even when social progress is most needed. And it seems this distinct form of societal penny wisdom but pound foolishness is a very unfortunate human characteristic that’s likely with us to stay.
But as a moral rule, a physically and mentally sound future should be every child’s fundamental right — along with air, water, food and shelter — especially considering the very troubled world into which they never asked to enter. And the health of all children needs to be of real importance to everyone — and not just concern over what other parents’ children might or will cost us as future criminals or costly cases of government care, etcetera — regardless of how well our own developing children are doing.
Though it’s only for the month of April, every day of the year should be Child Abuse Prevention Month in this world.
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“I remember leaving the hospital thinking, ‘Wait, are they going to let me just walk off with him? I don’t know beans about babies! I don’t have a license to do this. We’re just amateurs’.”
—Anne Tyler, Breathing Lessons
“It’s only after children have been discovered to be severely battered that their parents are forced to take a childrearing course as a condition of regaining custody. That’s much like requiring no license or driver’s ed[ucation] to drive a car, then waiting until drivers injure or kill someone before demanding that they learn how to drive.”
—Myriam Miedzian, Ph.D.
“The way a society functions is a reflection of the childrearing practices of that society. Today we reap what we have sown. Despite the well-documented critical nature of early life experiences, we dedicate few resources to this time of life. We do not educate our children about child development, parenting, or the impact of neglect and trauma on children.”
—Dr. Bruce D. Perry, Ph.D. & Dr. John Marcellus
“It has been said that if child abuse and neglect were to disappear today, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual would shrink to the size of a pamphlet in two generations, and the prisons would empty. Or, as Bernie Siegel, MD, puts it, quite simply, after half a century of practicing medicine, ‘I have become convinced that our number-one public health problem is our childhood’.”
—Childhood Disrupted, pg.228
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Could you explain the concept of teachers and teaching staff as surrogate caregivers and their influence on children’s lives?