Author Archives: Asa Don Brown

The Rise of Elder Abuse

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on September 27, 2023 1:39 pm

In recent years, we have witnessed a rise in violence among the elderly. This is not an isolated incident nor is it an issue solely related to the United States or Canada, but rather, this specific demographic has witnessed an upward increase occurring throughout the global community. According to research gathered through the Department of Justice Canada (2023) “About 45 percent of seniors report experiencing some form of abuse from the age of 65 on.” Further research has indicated that “The overall prevalence of elder abuse in Canada is similar to the levels found in the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia.” The rise of abuse amongst any population should garner our attention.

The rise in elder abuse has been well documented, but the number of unreported cases, is astronomical. According to the World Health Organization, “Emerging evidence indicates that the prevalence of abuse of older people in both the community and in institutions have increased during the COVID-19 pandemic. A United States study (conducted by Chang and Levy, 2021), suggests that rates in the community may have increased by as much as 84%.” Let me repeat, this is not an isolated issue within the United States or Canada, rather the rates of abuse are sadly reflected throughout our global community. Elder abuse is on the rise.

Why is it and how is it that such cases continue to occur? Elder abuse, like all forms of abuse, is inexcusable, unpardonable, and unimaginable, but like all other forms of abuse, they are hidden. They are hidden from others in order to conceal one’s misdeeds, wrongdoings, and egregious ways. They may be hidden as a guise, concealing one’s true intent and true nature.  Most commonly, they are hidden because the elder person is either unable, scared, or unwilling to speak up for themselves.

Why is it that victims of abuse refuse to report? Psychologically, there is a term that aptly explains this particular issue and the rationale to hide such abuse, it is called  “trauma bond” (a.k.a. Stockholm Syndrome). A trauma bond occurs when an individual has an emotional attachment or connection with their perpetrator. The bond may have transpired over the discourse of time or it may have been thrusted upon the victim. It is not unusual for the relationship or the bond to be based on need, rather than want or desire. Either way, the bond has an elastic element that brings the perpetrator and victim back together.

The relationship of the abused and perpetrator is one of imbalance. The imbalance is always in the favour of the perpetrator. The elderly person may feel as though they have no sense of personal control or even the ability to control their own lives. The abuser may have convinced the victim that they have no friends, associates or allies. They may have convinced the victim that they are their closest and dearest friend. The

imbalance of power is driven deeply within the core of the mind of the individual. Eventually, through cognitive manipulation and restructuring, the victim develops a belief system that they cannot live without the perpetrator. The perpetrator becomes their sounding board, their support system, and their perceivable ally.

Elder abuse is intentional. It is not uncommon for elder abuse to manifest in a variety of forms, which may include: psychological, physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, financial or medical. The ramifications of elder abuse have been known to cause cognitive impairment, social and emotional withdrawal, and an overall decline in an individual’s perceptions and worldviews. By the way, decline in an individual’s physical and cognitive functioning used to be considered a mere consequence of aging, but we now know that such abuse can have a dire effect upon an individual’s overall well being. Notably, it may not account for all types of cognitive impairment, but it is indeed one of the many elements that can play a major role in an individual’s physical and cognitive impairment.

The abusers are frequently placed in direct care of the victim. The victim may feel as though they are incapable or unable to speak up for themselves. They may feel fearful of the repercussions of speaking up and the possible consequences. It is not uncommon for abusers to utter threats and intimidate the elder person, persuading the individual from seeking help. Ultimately, the elder may feel as though they have limited to no options, leaving them at the will of the perpetrator.

According to the World Health Organization “Globally, the number of cases of elder abuse is projected to increase as many countries have rapidly aging populations. Even if the proportion of victims of abuse of older people remains constant, the global number of victims will increase rapidly due to population aging, growing to some 320 million victims by 2050, as the global population of people aged 60 years and more increases to 2 billion by 2050.”

Who are the abusers? Research has shown that the perpetrators of elder abuse are often intimately associated with the victim. The perpetrators may be a child, grandchild, spouse, or extended family member. In some cases, the perpetrator may have a close relationship with the individual. They may be a lifelong or family friend, religious figure, financial or legal resource, medical personnel or caregiver, or a member of a service organization. It’s important to understand that the most intimate of relationships can lead to someone taking advantage of the elder.

How do I identify a perpetrator or predatory behaviours? In general, predatory personalities are the ultimate chameleon. They are persuasive and capable of convincing others to allow them to take charge. They will morph into whatever disguise that fits your needs, wants, or overall desires. They are charming, intellectual, and reliable. They may insist on overseeing financial matters or the care of another. It is not uncommon for such personalities to lack empathy, personal insight, and an integral sense of the world.

What should I do if I know a victim of elder abuse? Be involved. Be an advocate and a liaison of the elder. Do not hesitate to report any allegations or suspensions of abuse to the authority. Encourage the elder and their family to create a multi-disciplinary team to provide support and advocacy on behalf of the elder. The multi-disciplinary team may be comprised of mental health and healthcare practitioners; adult protective services; legal and criminal justice systems; religious and faith based organizations; and if possible, a team comprised of family and friends.  Please remember that elder abuse is on the rise. Elder abuse is one of the most rapidly growing segments of the population, but one of the least reported.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Complex Nature and Relationship of Stress and Anxiety

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on August 23, 2023 12:04 pm

Have you ever been confused by the difference between stress and anxiety? What exactly is the difference between the two? And how can they be effectively managed?

Let’s begin by clarifying the difference between these similar, but very different coping strategies. Stress and anxiety have a comparable effect on the mind and body. Both can manifest through a number of physical and psychological symptoms. They are both effected by one’s biological, psychological and social environments, or as we say in psychology, biopsychosocial environments. While stress commonly has a short-lived or an acute effect upon an individual; anxiety can have a longterm or chronic effect upon the physical mind and body. Stress itself is a reaction. There is certainly a cause and effect that prompts stress. It may be triggered by an event, circumstance, situation, or an internal or external response to something occurring in one’s life. It can be thought of as an unwarranted tension with adverse effects. Whereas, anxiety often encapsulates an obsessive quality or component that intensifies as one feels an overwhelming sense of being without control. The individual may experience an impeding sense of doom and gloom. They may feel as though they have no ability of overcoming whatever they are

facing. Anxiety is essentially the manifestation of persistent stress. Initially, the anxiety may have been triggered by a stressor, but it may continue to plague an individual long after the stressor has been removed. It is important to recognize that there are anxieties that are known to manifest without a specific cause or reason.

Stress is the internal catalyst informing the mind and body to react now. It is a survival mechanism that informs us of potential threats or danger. You may not only lean upon stress when encountering the probability of a threat, but the possibility of losing out on something. Stress can come in a variety of forms including: a baseball player who sees a ball flying across centerfield; a student who is taking an academic exam; a speaker who’s addressing a large audience for the first time; a couple sharing marriage vows; a physician who’s treating an unfamiliar illness. Please note that a healthy balance of stress is a normal attribute of the human condition.

Another way of looking at the difference is, stress often manifests in relationship to something or because of something. Whereas, anxiety may occur whether or not there is a real-life threat or obstacle to overcome. Anxieties may have been related to a stressful situation, but the event continues to plague the mind and body of the individual long after the event has passed.

Generally speaking, stress is the body’s way of coping and managing events occurring in the moment. While anxiety is commonly an overwhelming sensation that does not dispensate following a stress induced occurrence. Notably, stress and anxiety can both have a profound effect upon the mind and body. The symptoms can exacerbate or be the catalyst of other physical and psychological conditions. These issues may lead to

a generalized feeling of being unwell, a lack of sleep or disrupted sleep patterns,  excessive worry, increased blood pressure, chronic fatigue, irritability, tension, bruxism (TMJ), and headaches. It may also have a systemic effect upon one’s overall immune, digestive, cardiovascular, or reproductive systems, and a barrage of physical and psychological manifestations.

By the way, you are not alone with your health concerns. There are others facing the same and similar challenges. It is not too late to reach out for help.

The good news is, both stress and anxiety can be effectively treated. You can learn to cope, manage and possibly overcome these issues. Please understand that it is not uncommon to experience some level of stress and anxiety throughout one’s life. It’s how we cope and manage these issues that makes all the difference.

The following are strategies that may help you with your personal stress and anxieties:

  • Regular exercise can have a profound effect on an individual’s mood, concentration, alertness and overall cognition. Furthermore, just 30 minutes of regular exercise has been shown to have a positive effect on self-esteem and cognitive function.
  • Be certain to eat a well-balanced diet and stay hydrated.
  • Consider the possibility of seeking the care of a mental health practitioner.
  • Journaling is an excellent way for you to pen your thoughts, perceptions, and any personal challenges. It’s an excellent opportunity to practice positive self-talk and another way to focus on behaviours, attitudes and perceptions that you might like to improve.
  • Scientific research has shown that controlled and concentrated breathing is a beneficial way for managing stress and anxiety.
  • Meditation can provide you a place of balance and an overall sense of control.

There are many methods with which one can eliminate, manage, and cope with stress and anxiety. It’s important to recognize that you are ultimately in control. Do not allow your mind to convince you otherwise. Adapt the skills mentioned above to your own personal routine. Do not feel afraid to adapt skills or to manipulate skills to fit your own life. At the end of the day, it’s all about your mental health and wellbeing.

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www.asadonbrown.com




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Vicarious Effects of Mental Health on Children

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on July 4, 2023 2:21 pm

By now, you have surely read, heard, or listened to a news broadcast about the state of mental health in this country. We are living in unprecedented times as a nation and as a global community. According to the World Health Organization, the state of mental health ranks as one of the leading causes of disability. Its elevation should be a cause of real concern, especially in relationship to the lives of our children and our youth.

We are living in precarious times. It is a time of global uncertainty, anxiety, and unrest.
Whether you are discussing tensions brought on by economics, the pandemic, the political environment, or the churning of society’s core belief systems; we are in a time of global uncertainty. How does this translate onto the life of a child? Children are the most vulnerable around those that they trust, or in some cases, distrust. Moreover, they are influenced by those who have taken on the role of a caregiver. For many years, I have had a core belief that teachers and teaching staff are simply surrogate caregivers. After all, teachers and staff have direct contact with our children for approximately 6 to 7 hours a day. This may vary depending on the school and if the student rides the school bus, but the reality is, it takes a village to raise a child.

While they spend countless hours with teachers, coaches, and instructors of all types, the truth is, children are more likely to be impacted by issues related to a parent than they are those related to their teachers. Nevertheless, this is not to say that those in direct contact with our children have no influence over their behaviours, attitudes, perceptions or worldview. To the contrary, for we know that whatever the role, the life of a child is capable of being influenced by anyone who plays a significant role in their life. Likewise, we know that a child who is aware of their caregiver’s willingness to seek out care, is influenced by this decision. They are the most receptive to a parental caregiver who is willing to express their own vulnerability and find answers to cope and manage this particular issue. Moreover, we know that teachers, coaches and other staff bring their stresses to work. Yet, we seldom take this under consideration. The probability of a child being influenced and impacted by any adult is higher when they have a direct and ongoing relationship with that child.

Any person can be vicariously affected by an individual they have an ongoing relationship with. Thus, the vicarious affects are significantly higher when we are in direct contact with that individual and they have a position of power or authority over us. Therefore, it is important to recognize that children and youth are in the direct line of influence. They are influenced by the day to day nuances of an individual’s mannerisms, moods, frustrations, and overall personality. They are influenced by an individual’s nonverbal and verbal communications, but we seldom consider the direct and indirect effects of the academic setting on the life of a child. While one may hope that a majority of teachers and professional staff know how to manage their own levels of stress and anxiety, there are those moments that a teacher’s personal life invades the classroom setting. What are we doing to ensure the wellbeing of our children in all environments?

Our mental health has a direct baring upon the life a child. If we refuse the proper care, then this too can have a dire effect. Have you ever worked in an environment that is unfavourable? Have you ever worked with a colleague who brings their personal drama to work? The likelihood is relatively high that you have been indirectly and directly impacted, or even influence, by another’s personal mental health. Please understand that you do not have to speak of your stressor to project your stress on the life of another. Stress and anxiety have this incredible way of boring into our minds. It does not even have to be our own stress or anxiety.

The impact of mental health is not unlike the woodworm. Woodworms have this amazing way of propelling themselves through various timber, by using pincers to bore a hole through wood. Similarly, you may be a solid person. You may have never had a mental health concern or even been exposed to someone with an extreme mental health condition. Yet, just like that solid piece of timber, you are suddenly impacted by something that you never dreamt of. Do not consider yourself weak or of frail mind. Do not allow the naysayers in the back of your mind to dismiss this challenge. Please do understand that mental health challenges have the ability of effecting the strongest of individuals.

Let’s consider the following, adults often have a difficult time confronting a colleague at work, much less their boss, about issues stemming from the workplace. What if, your boss has a grave mental health condition and this is having an influence over your personal performance, what would you do? How would you proceed? Would you consider speaking with this individual? What if, they are not receptive? Would you consider going above their head for support? As a manager, how would you show support for both individuals?

As adults, we should be aware of any protocols and guidelines with which to proceed with our concerns. Now let’s take this down a different path, what if, you are a child? What if, your teacher or someone within the academic setting is causing you undue distress? What if, your teacher’s stressors are having an effect upon you? What avenues do you have to seek out support? Where do you turn to? What if, the issue is coming from the principal? As adults, we know and recognize that there are measures with which to find support for a child. What is the probability that a child knows that there are supports in place to keep them safe? What is the probability that a child knows that they do not have to put up with the egregious behaviours of another, including an adult?

We are in a precarious time indeed! The issues stemming from stress and anxiety are directly or indirectly impacting nearly every person on this planet. By the way, you would be the exception not to have been impacted in one way or another.

Now how do we go about showing support for those that are the most vulnerable? Make your child aware that it is never too late to find help. Make them aware that they are not alone with their personal struggles, and that it is absolutely normal to face such struggles. After all, research has indicated that one in four individuals are facing a mental health challenge. Remind your child of your admiration, appreciation and unconditional love. Encourage your child to have daily, yes daily conversations about their day. Encourage your child to discuss their likes, dislikes, comforts, discomforts, and anything that they maybe feeling. Avoid ridiculing or dismissing your child’s feelings about events, situations, circumstances or individuals who may have influence over them. Show your child support by acting as an advocate and ally. Do not hesitate finding a trained therapist who can offer confidential and compassionate counsel. Be certain that your child is receiving the proper supports in school and at home. Remember that we are actively raising these children together. Parents and teachers you are not alone. Most of all, be certain that your home and school are a safe haven for the life of your child.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Being Empathic: An Empath’s Journey

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on May 26, 2023 4:40 pm

It’s another day and you’ve continued the journey down life’s precarious highway. Those who know you best, know how much you deeply care about each and every individual that you encounter. Knowing you, is to know an individual with tremendous empathy, compassion, and unconditional love. It’s the passion, within compassion, that is often the common thread that weaves throughout such a personality. Your empathy often knows no limits, but this can prove as a hinderance to your own maturation and ability to thrive. Individuals with this type of personality are often at odds with their own needs versus the needs of others.

Please understand that empathy is not an exclusive attribute of empathic individuals. Rather, empathic individuals often have a core mechanism within them that accelerates this feature of the human condition. So what is empathy? It’s the cognitive ability of immersing yourself into an event, situation, circumstance or the life of another. Plainly speaking, it’s about having unrequested compassion for someone else. Ultimately, empathy is about meeting someone where they are at.

How does someone cultivate or refine their own level of empathy? Dr. Jamil Zaki of Stanford University describes empathy as “our ability to share and understand one another’s feelings—a psychological ‘superglue’ that connects people and undergirds cooperation and kindness.” (The Economist, 2019). It’s the ability of understanding that we need to be more engaged and showing more unrestricted care to those around us. As a clinician, I have met individuals who sincerely believe that empathy is predetermined, hardwired, and decided at birth. Fortunately, empathy is not predetermined, hardwired or decided at the moment of your birth. In fact, research suggests that you are not restricted to the level of empathy that you currently retain within your person. Empathy is pliable, amenable, and capable of being changed.

As a natural empath, I have had to learn the careful balance of giving versus depleting your own natural reservoir. It’s the ability of knowing when you are offering of yourself versus sacrificing yourself. Please understand me that it is not always easy for someone who genuinely yearns to serve others. It’s not natural for those who have a deeply woven spirit that thrives to serve. To deny this aspect of oneself feels like a rejection of thy inner-self, but the truth is, we must all learn the necessity of balance and personal selfcare.

As a clinical psychologist, I have worked with other empaths on managing and bringing balance to their own lives. Again, it’s not easy when we have a heart to serve and be of service. While empathy is a gateway of service, we must also lead by example. For after all, how good is someone’s service if they are no longer capable of serving? It’s not about the rejection of others or their personal needs, but rather, it’s about balance of the preservation of one’s own life, health and overall wellbeing. It’s about recognizing that you have your own limits and personal needs.

Self-care is essential! It is of the utmost importance that we practice self-care in our home and in our daily lives. What good are we if we sacrifice our own life, personal health and wellbeing? Attending to your personal needs is exemplifying the best attributes and role modeling unto others. It’s ultimately about being an example unto others. Self-care is not self-centered or selfish, it’s about offering aid to yourself when you are feeling depleted. It’s about ensuring that your reservoir is full and that you have an adequate supply when serving others.

What is self-care? Self-care is the practice of being consciously aware of your needs and taking the necessary steps to preserve or improve your overall personal health. It is the ability of recognizing your essential needs. It’s the ability of recognizing when you have had enough. Fundamentally, it’s about knowing what you require to rejuvenate and feel refreshed. Research suggests that those who experience burnout, or report burnout, have had many signs and symptoms developing long before they are recognized. What does this suggests? It suggests that we must be better stewards of our own health and personal wellbeing. Remember that whether as a practitioner or a patient we must be diligent not only to look after the needs and wellbeing of others, but we should be looking after our own needs as well.

Self-awareness is one of the greatest instruments that an empath has on hand. It is through our self-awareness that we are constantly observing, interacting and experiencing life. We must understand that self-awareness begins by being cognitively aware, attentive and knowing our own person. It is through self-awareness that we are capable of understanding the essential needs and issues of others, as well as, our own.

Whether or not you identify as an empath, it’s important that each individual practice a balanced life. A balanced life may appear different in each life that it encounters. Yet, there is a common and consistent truth, life is about centeredness and balance. It’s about consuming as much good, as the negative, that will assuredly come our way. We must constantly monitor our own needs and our overall welfare, while serving others. Even if, our work does not allow us to work directly with others, we must strive to maintain a balanced life. So what does it mean to have a balanced life? A balanced life is about achieving a particular synergy in life. It’s about equipping your life with the proper support mechanisms that will enable you to live a healthy, productive and fulfilled life. It’s about recognizing those areas of your life that deplete your reserves and those that replenish them. It’s about utilizing tools that will enrich your life like daily breathing,
meditation, journaling, exercise, and a healthy diet. Ultimately, life is about living, thinking, and feeling healthy.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Power of a Healthy Friendship

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on April 21, 2023 3:43 pm

There is something rather unique about the bonding that takes place between two individuals. As we develop as infants and toddlers, we learn many of our social, moral and ethical cues from our parents or primary caregivers. We learn the difference between right and wrong, our likes and dislikes, and the ability to trust or distrust another. It is the quality of this relationship that reinforces our sense of self. The parental relationship has a distinct bearing upon our overall psychological makeup and the way with which we see the world. Yet, research has shown that while parents or caregivers play a significant role in the development of a child; there remains something rather striking about an authentic friendship.

We know that friendships have had a significant role in the development of the human consciousness. It has been debated whether or not the urge for friendship is stimulated by a collective consciousness or an individual consciousness. Research has indicated that friendships are a unique blend of the individual and the collective. It is this unique weaving of the individual and the collective consciousness that appears to be the foundations for friendship.

Why are we drawn towards total strangers? What is it about friendship that we crave as a species? Friendships are not unique to homo sapiens, rather there are many examples throughout the animal kingdom of such binding relationships. Until recently, researchers often refrained from describing the bond that occurs between animals as “friendship.” Dr. Lauren Brent who is a primatologist and professor at Duke University, is conducting research on rhesus macaques. She is looking specifically at the quality and development of relationships and friendships amongst the rhesus macaques. According to the National Geographic, “Rhesus macaques are familiar brown primates with red faces and rears. They have close-cropped hair on their heads, which accentuates their very expressive
faces. Rhesus macaques are Asian, Old World monkeys… These intelligent animals can adapt to many habitats, and some can even become accustomed to living in human communities.” Dr. Brent’s research suggests that the rhesus macaques do indeed develop lifelong friendships. It is this research and others that lends one to think that just maybe we are innately predisposed to friendship. Furthermore, science has revealed that friendship was an evolutionary response to ensuring that the human species would thrive and survive. Without the contribution of others, our species may not have survived.

Friendships are a fascinating aspect of the human experience. It is not uncommon for childhood friendships to develop through social constructs, such as attending the same school, religious venues, extracurricular activities or living in the same neighbourhood. Similarly, adults continue this trend by connecting with work colleagues, neighbours, and through a variety of other social constructs.

Friendships play a significant role in this thing called life. It is commonly expected that friendships will naturally take a backseat to familial events, circumstances and decisions. After all, we have no familial loyalty or structure to those that we call friends. We also know that as adults that there may be extended periods of time that we do not engage with our friends. For most individuals, this is an acceptable behavior for this particular construct. Likewise, there is something intrinsically special about choosing a friend. Often times, we develop friendships out of thin air. Think about it for a moment. Friendships are unlike family, in that, there are no familial obligations or considerations bonding you together. Consider the following: the next time you are walking in a park, pay close attention to how young children and youth engage. It is not uncommon for a child to befriend a virtual stranger. Again, friendships often occur out of thin air. There is something dynamic about friendships.

There is something uniquely special about choosing a friend. I have heard patients declare that they can choose their friends, but they are stuck with their families. What is it about having an ability to choose a friend? Are friendships that much different from other relationships? If so, why are they different from other relationships?

Friendships are an evolving aspect of the relationship paradigm. As children, we might knock on our neighbour’s door begging for their child to come out and play. As youth, we continue this cycle, but with more independence and freedom to make such a request. Of course, technology has had its clutches on the ever-evolving changes that is occurring within friendships. The likelihood of knocking may sadly be a thing of the past, but the truth is, children still rely upon the permission of the parents or caregiver. As we enter adulthood, many find themselves spending less and less quality time with their friends and more and more time with their families, work colleagues and other associates.

While social media has made it possible to keep in touch with mass groups of individuals, research is discovering that many of these “so-called” friendships are shallower than before. It may be because we tend to embrace friendships that may have otherwise fizzled with time. Social media has violated this natural function of relationships. Whereas,before the relationship would go through a variety of stages including the loss of the relationship; rather, we now tend to clasp on to these individuals collecting them like
bottle caps.

Social media has a damning effect. For many individuals seem to be incapable of moving beyond their own mistakes. We have all known someone who reminds us of our past. We have all known someone who is more than willing to share our mistakes, our mishaps, and our misunderstandings. Unfortunately, social media does not allow for the individual to grow and move beyond what has occurred in his or her past. Let’s return to what is friendship? Friendship is the ability to connect with another. It is this ability to share in common interest, desires, and achievements. It is also having an ability to connect when times are not so rosy. It is in these particular times that we tend to grow together, bonding over the situation, circumstance or event. Friendships are naturally woven together by these experiences.

An authentic friend does not need to receive a daily, weekly, monthly, or even a yearly call. An authentic friend remains loyal during the difficult times. An authentic friend is willing to be assertive and accountable when the times call for it. An authentic friend understands that friendship is an ever-evolving relationship bound to be complicated, but commonly comprised of mutual respect.

Throughout our lives, we will encounter many individuals. We may have the privilege of developing lifelong friends. We may elect to develop different sets of friendships throughout the many stages of our lives. We may even elect to move beyond a friendship for reasons related to our own mental health and wellbeing. Remember that friendships are never perfect, but authentic friends should always look at empowering you.

Most of all, what does it take to develop a healthy friendship? Healthy friendships and relationships occur through mutual respect and understanding. You cannot simply “click” a healthy friend into being. Healthy friendships and relationships transpire over time with trust, dignity and active communication. It is these types of relationships that are fortified by the individual loyalties that create a unique bond. Likewise, such relationships are based on a mutual admiration and ambition towards a particular outcome. At the end of the day, authentic friends have chosen to be friends. They are well aware of one another’s flaws, attributes, compliments and personalities. It is this type of friendship that we should all strive for, but such friendships can only evolve over time with dedication unto one-another. The ultimate power of a healthy friendship occurs through the ability of having an authentic friend.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Corporal Punishment: Rethinking Parental Correction

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on March 21, 2023 12:23 pm

The World Health Organization declares “Corporal punishment is linked to a range of negative outcomes for children across countries and cultures, including physical and mental ill-health, impaired cognitive and socio-emotional development, poor educational outcomes, increased aggression and perpetration of violence.”

Gabriel and her friends are play wrestling in their home. Gabriel’s parents have long insisted that Gabriel and her friends are not allowed to wrestle or tussle inside their home. However, one fateful afternoon, Gabriel and her best friend are vigorously scuffling around her father’s office, when luck has it, they knock over her father’s prized hockey trophy. The trophy tumbles off the a shelf bringing several other items rapidly tumbling to the floor.  Her father’s prized trophy and several other items lie fragmented throughout the room. Gabriel is immediately shaken by this mishap. She is aware of her parent’s rules and the consequences of misbehaving. She seldom disobeys her parents out of fear of the known consequences. As she reflects on the last time a mishap occurred, she vividly recalls the spanking received by her father.  It left a negative impression. She’s well aware of her parent’s belief system on spanking. She knows that if she misbehaves, or acts out, that she will be dealt with accordingly. She has long heard her parent’s stance on “sparing the rod and spoiling the child.”

While the story of Gabriel is fictional, it is reflected in many homes, schools, dormitories and foster placements. A child makes a mistake and they are punished with severe physical consequences.

What would happen, if the courts and legislative body embolden employers to use corporal punishment? What would be your personal reaction? Would you stand for your employer spanking you the next time you get out of line, backtalk, or simply stood up for yourself? Would you be at odds with your employer? Or, would you feel that your employer was justified for spanking you?

What would happen, if the courts and legislative body embolden the police with the right to spank their clients? Would you allow for some police officer to force you to bend over your vehicle? Would you be okay taking lashes for driving over the speed limit? Would you be bothered that a police officer has the judicial right to make such decisions on the spot?

Let’s take it one step further, what if, your son or daughter were traveling overseas to a country that corporal punishment was enforceable? What if, they committed a crime that might be perceived in your country as mischief?  Or, perhaps a simple misdemeanor? What if, in your community, the punishment typically involved a fine and community service, but rather than the child receiving community service or a stiff fine, they are forced to face several lashes for vandalism? How would you react? What would be your overall gut impression? Well, in the spring of 1994, an American student, Michael Fay was charged and convicted of vandalism in Singapore. Under ordinary circumstances, Michael Fay should have received a stricter penalty, but in his case, President Bill Clinton, interceded on his behalf. In the end, Michael Fay received four lashes, rather than the typically administered six lashes for the crime with which he had committed. Now as a parent, how would you react if your child was facing such a harsh and very stiff, penalty? Isn’t it funny, as a society we justify the use of corporal punishment in the home, but yet, we would be hell bent on protecting our child from corporal punishment outside the home environment.

The ramifications of spanking a child can be significant, leaving the child with the impression that violence and physical altercations are acceptable. Research has clearly shown that spanking has a profound effect upon the child’s biological, psychological, and social environments. It is not uncommon for children to struggle with a host of issues which may include: anxiety, stress, nightmares or night terrors, bedwetting, regressiveness, self-esteem and self-worth, proper attachment, issues involving feelings of security and trust, and so forth. The issues range from acute to chronic and they may plague the individual throughout the remainder of their life. Please understand that corporal punishment does not lead to desired outcomes, rather there is evidence that shows spanking can have profound effect upon the cognitive and processing centers of the brain. When we alter these regions of the brain, we effectively alter the attitudes, perceptions and behaviours of the individual being punished.

There are a number of problems with corporal punishment. Research has indicated that parents who rely on corporal punishment, commonly utilize various forms of correction when they are knowingly out of control. Many parents report feeling fed up and unable to regulate their own emotional state. At the moment of use, the parent’s mindset is seldom calm and collective. Rather, it is not uncommon for the parent to be highly stressed, frustrated and bewildered.

Ultimately, what can a parent do if other forms of discipline or correction are not achieving their ultimate aim? Parents who are feeling overwhelmed, should consider seeking out the services of a professional. Likewise, there are a number of resources for parents who are feeling exacerbated by the role of simply being a parent. In many communities, there are classes for helping parents improve upon their parenting, relationship and communication skills. Parents are always encouraged to communicate their frustrations with a professional therapist. Improving upon the foundations of one’s parenting skills is not an indication of weakness or inability, rather they are proof that you are seeking to obtain healthy skills for parenting. Fortunately, there are services for individuals who live remotely or in communities without local professionals. Parents should be encouraged to join online parenting classes, workshops, and even the ability of meeting with trained professionals.  Professionals often encourage the parent(s) and child to attend family and individual therapy.

Why is it that we continue to rely upon the use of corporal punishment to correct children? It has been many decades since an employer or legal system could utilize corporal punishment on the life of an adult. Why is it that we have outlawed violence between partners? Yet, we continue to permit the use of physical violence on the innocent life of a child? Why is it that we have set such strict standards on workplace violence,  and yet, we continue to harbour violence in the home?

In Canada, Section 43 of the Criminal Code permits parents, guardians, and other caregivers to discipline a child with corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is seldom isolated to physical spanking. According to the Department of Justice Canada, “Experts say that spanking is not an effective form of discipline. Spanking can make children angry and resentful. It can cause them to lose trust in their parents. It teaches children that hitting others is okay. In the long run, spanking can make children’s behaviour worse.”

Ultimately, what are we teaching children? We are teaching children that physical violence is an acceptable form of communication. A majority of parents would never intend harm to the life of their child, but the truth is, corporal punishment has an ability of leaving unknown scars marring the perceptions and worldviews of their child.  As a practitioner and father, my argument is that corporal punishment is an ancient artifact that continues to systemically plague our society. As a society, we have long relied on corporal punishment as a corrective instrument.

We must resolve this issue by making all forms of corporal punishment illegal. We can no longer use the justification that “well my parents used it and it had no effect upon my life.” You may be the exception to the rule, but the truth is, there is research that indicates the lasting effects of corporal punishment.  The problem with corporal punishment is that there is no way of setting a regulated standard of discipline. We know that parents who utilize corporal punishment range in age, intellectual quotient, economic backgrounds, etc. The demographics are immeasurable. There are no absolute guarantees involving the safety and wellbeing of the life of a child.

There is no justification of applying corporal punishment on the life of a child. A child who is infused with the concept of corporal punishment, has a higher likelihood of relying on physical violence to solve their problems. Again, we are teaching children that there is always a justification for violence. The justification for physical violence on the life of a child is unjustified and inexcusable. It is time that we lay aside the ways of our past and look to implementing instruments that correct, guide, and lovingly nurture the lives of our children.

2520 Vestal Parkway East, PMB #177, Vestal, New York 13850 (206) 430-2611
Email: [email protected]

asadonbrown.com




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Recognizing the Subtle Nuances of Domestic Violence

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on February 28, 2023 5:20 pm

Domestic violence is never acceptable. What comes to mind when you hear the words domestic violence? Have you ever experienced any form of domestic violence? Have you been vicariously effected by domestic violence? For you, how would you describe domestic violence? In your own words, what would account for domestic violence?

Perhaps, you were the perpetrator of domestic violence. What erupted your emotional fuel-line? Do you believe that domestic violence is ever excusable? If so, what forms of domestic violence do you believe are acceptable?

If you were given an opportunity to describe domestic violence, you might have your own personal slant on what is, and what is not. For majority of our society, domestic violence are “extreme” and “intolerable” violent acts. Ultimately causing physical harm or the possibility of physical harm. Yet, we often draw the line at the physical manifestation of violence. We seldom take into account many other forms of violence. When was the last time you considered economic abuse, cyberstalking, stalking, or verbal or emotional abuse as potential threats? Even the very threat of harm, may be considered a form of domestic violence. Nevertheless, we slough off certain categories as mere side effects of being with a particular individual.


• “You don’t understand them, like I do.”
• “I shouldn’t have pushed their buttons. — I know better.”
• “They’re under a lot of pressure these days.”
• “If I had only stopped, then they wouldn’t have become so enraged.”
• “I’ve should have respected their quiet time.”
• “It was my fault.”


The abused is often familiar with iStatements. “I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve,”
becomes their poetic song. It is always about justifying the intolerable behaviours of their
partner. Reminder, there is never an excuse in abuse!

For many abusers, they rarely accept personal responsibility. It’s about feeding their own ego, desires and identity. Notably, not all abusers are narcissistic, but narcissism is often a common feature amongst abusive personalities. The abuser is often an expert of the word “you.”


• “You should’ve listened to me.”
• “If you had only done what I had asked.”
• “I wouldn’t have become so enraged, if you had just listened.”
• “Today wasn’t a good day for you to grow a backbone.”
• “I became so angry when my food wasn’t ready.”
• “You make me so angry.”

Why do we dismiss acts of violence? Why is it that we have created categories and subcategories of what is excusable and what is inexcusable? As a clinical psychologist, I have often felt like asking, haven’t you read the fine-print? There is never an excuse for violence!


What is it within the human condition that creates excuses? Why does the abused accept responsibility for their victimization? Research has indicated that victims of abuse are often preprogrammed to think this way from early childhood. What prevents a victim from leaving their abuser? Individuals who are abused, are not unlike hostages. It is not uncommon for victims of abuse to feel particular loyalty and strong feelings for their abuser. After all, many relationships start out seemingly positive. The abuser may have wined-and-dined their victims. The victim may have felt safe and secure in the relationship. Likewise, the abuser may not have been outwardly displaying such characteristics either. Research has indicated that elevated stress and other life challenges are frequently the catalyst driving this type of personality.

The abuser is seldom born an abuser, rather they are nurtured into abuse. Just like victims often seek out victimhood, so do abusers seek out victims to abuse. Publicly, it’s not uncommon for the abuser to wear several different masks; pretending to be one individual for one group, while conveying a different personality for the next. The victim may be unaware of the abusers deep-ingrained personality.

What changes? The abuser may not have intentionally turned that leaf over, but one day, out of nowhere, the abuse begins. The relationship is no longer filled with charm, kindness, love, and affection, rather it becomes filled with envy, jealousy, violence, intolerance, and dogma. For many victims, they know their victimizer intimately. They have witnessed a different side to their victimizer. Was it a facade? Who knows, but they, the victims continue to believe in the way things were and that the abuser will surely return to their more vulnerable side. It is the victims relentless belief in the way things were, that prolongs their victimization.

Research indicates that victims often fit a specific profile. It is not uncommon for a victim of abuse to have been abused per childhood. In fact, studies have indicated that the victim may not have been the direct target of the abuse per childhood, rather having witnessed violence appears to be enough to leave a deep impact on the life of the child. The victim is not always raised in an abusive home, but this increases the odds that they will be preyed upon. Furthermore, abusers are not always raised in homes filled with violence and abusive personalities, but this too increases the possibilities that they will develop into abusers. Why does the victimizer seek out a specific prey? It stems from the knowledge that individuals with weakened self-images and self-esteems are more apt to cling to such a personality. Just like the animal kingdom, victimizers often seek out those who are the most vulnerable. It is at that optimum time that they pounce.

The research on the victimizer is quite stunning. Abusers are seldom without many skeletons. It is not uncommon for abusers to have been neglected and abused per childhood. They may have been directly abused or vicariously witnesses of abuse in their childhood home. While the childhood home is sometimes the catalyst, we must not blame an abuser’s choices on their childhood. For at the end of the day, we all have an ability of making choices between right and wrong.

Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms of Domestic Violence and Abuse
• avoidance of personal responsibility
• regular and frequent swearing and yelling
• withholding affection as a form of punishment
• abusive rhetoric and language
• gaslighting
• controlling and demanding personalities
• punitive actions
• restrictions on who someone can see and not see
• an inability to accept wrongdoings
• belittling and humiliating another
• threats of harm or the potential of harm
• the intentional degrading of a person’s self worth
• an inability to show compassion or empathy
• an overinflated sense of self
• indications of excessive jealously or possessiveness
• obsessive and stalking qualities
• sexual demands or threats
• withholding access to financial accounts
• withholding access to transportation
• suicidality
• homicidality

Please understand that you are not alone. Research has clearly indicated that in North America, that there are approximately 12 million victims of domestic violence each year. It is not uncommon for victims of abuse to feel isolated and alone. You are not alone. Physical and sexual abuse are not the only forms of domestic violence. Abuse occurs in a variety of forms including: physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and verbal abuse. Abuse is never excusable!

2520 Vestal Parkway East, PMB #177, Vestal, New York 13850 (206) 430-2611
Email: [email protected]

asadonbrown.com




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Plight of the Homeless

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on January 23, 2023 3:44 pm

There are many assumptions around homelessness. These assumptions are often cast with a specific ideological perspective and an array of biases. Many assume that if you are homeless, then you must have made a grave error in your life. It’s not uncommon for those assumptions to include the traditional thoughts of addiction, drugs, gang life, prostitution, and being the typical outcast. Let’s not forget, that there are those who believe that the homeless are directly and indirectly responsible for their plight. The most common assumption is, that homeless individuals are lazy, insufferable, unaccountable, and incapable of maintaining any semblance of normalcy.

There is one absolute truth, no one wakes up with a yearning desire to become homeless. Homeless individuals are born with the same innate desires, temperaments, and beliefs that we are all inherently born with. There are a countless number of homeless individuals who have achieved the highest and loftiest of life’s accomplishments. It’s not uncommon to meet a homeless individual who’s obtained a formal education; been a former owner or manager of a business; and who’s owned a home. Homeless individuals are no different than you and I. There are homeless individuals who continue to take pride in their personal appearance and hygiene. It’s not uncommon to meet a homeless individual who continues to strive for success and life beyond impoverishment.

The media has perpetuated the myth that homelessness is a choice. It associates homelessness with a lack of personal drive, ambition, and motivation. It often exploits those who are homeless by perpetuating false narratives and claims of what it means to be destitute. Moreover, the myth influences the general impression that homelessness is a choice. As such, the impression fuels a community filled with apathy and indifference.

Homelessness is driven by a number of factors including: housing scarcity, poverty, domestic violence, divorce, sudden or unexpected death of a spouse, financial hardships and restraints, economic downturn, and of course, the physical and mental health of the individual. While there are a number of factors that may lead to homelessness, the greatest obstacle of those who are homeless, is society itself.

Chronic homelessness has a profound effect upon the life of the individual. It’s not uncommon for those who are homeless to have a severe mental health condition, but a majority of researchers acknowledge that it is difficult to determine whether the mental health condition perpetuated the issue of homelessness or the opposite. It is without a doubt that homelessness can exacerbate and accelerate a preexisting mental health condition. Yet, what about those who had no previously known underlying mental health conditions? Are they more apt to develop a mental health condition being chronically homeless? Chronic homelessness can challenge the healthiest of individuals. Research has indicated that chronic homelessness can have a profound effect upon an individual’s physical mind and body.  It’s thought to be a combination of factors that begins to gnaw at the individual. Over time, the daily struggle to survive and the stressors of living on the streets begins to have a dire effect on their perceptions and worldviews. Gradually, the health and wellbeing of an individual begins to decay, through the influences of living day-to-day on the streets. The daily grind and struggle to survive begins to erode at the consciousness and intellectual integrity of the homeless person. It’s not only the individual’s personal relationship to their environment, but being caught up in a similar environment of others. It’s witnessing a variety of atrocities and human depravity taking place on a daily basis. It’s the feelings and emotions of being rejected and subjected to a standard of life not suitable for any life form. The substandard living conditions are forced upon them day-after-day and week-after-week. The hardships begin to take a toll on the strongest of minds and bodies. It’s this sort of environment that can play havoc with the healthiest of minds and bodies.

The plight of homeless individuals are further eroded by the very system that should be there to protect them. In a majority of the free world, homelessness remains a crime and an illegal act. Terry Skolnik, Professor of Law at the University of Ottawa, has indicated that the judicial system of Canada continues to perpetuate the stigmatization of those who are homeless. In Professor Skolnik’s article with the Journal of Law Equality, it is obvious that the judicial system continues to offer a blind eye to the welfare of those who are homeless. In Canada, “courts have rejected homelessness as a ground of discrimination in Canadian constitutional law. Judges have concluded that homeless people are not a protected class…” The Canadian system does not guarantee that an individual will receive adequate housing, financial support, or advocacy. In the United States, laws and public policies have been devised as an intentional and blatant form of discrimination. A glimpse into the American judicial mindset is offered through an article by Nazish Dholakia, Senior Writer, Vera Institute of Justice for Forbes. In Dholakia’s article, he explains that there are “Laws that bar people experiencing homelessness from sitting, sleeping, or resting in public spaces… Some laws prohibit people from living in vehicles. Other laws turn loitering, asking for money, and even sharing food with people into offenses punishable by fines or arrest. In many cities, public restrooms are not available overnight—or at all— yet cities prohibit public urination and defecation.”

We know that homelessness is rooted in extreme poverty and inability to find proper accommodations. According to the United Nations (2023) it’s not only about obtaining housing, but it is the ability to find “stable, safe, and adequate housing.” It is not uncommon for governments to mask the issues of homelessness with a salve, offering temporary and unsafe housing.

So, what is the responsibility of those serving in the field of mental health? Is it our responsibility to advocate on behalf of those who have fallen victim to the clutches of the world? What is the responsibility of a mental health practitioner?

The field of mental health can do better by the side of those suffering. We can do better by offering pro bono services; volunteering as a therapist in homeless organizations and veterans organizations; and advocating on behalf of our fellow human.

We can do better! We can do better by the side of our fellow human! We can advocate were there is a need for advocacy. We can demand change through our legislative bodies and through our professional organizations.

At the moment, being homeless remains a criminal offense. It’s this sort of mindset that will further perpetuate the stigmatization and stereotypes of those who are homeless.While the judicial bodies frame laws and ordinances on preventing and punishing those who are homeless, it’s within their approach that the homeless are being underrepresented and underserved. Perhaps as a society, we should seek to reintegrate rather than to segregate.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Holiday Blues

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on January 6, 2023 5:24 pm

The very mention of the word holiday can leave an individual feeling the blues. According to the media, the holidays are suppose to be a time of cheerfulness, merriment, celebration, family and friends, but for so many, the holidays are not that picturesque. Rather, the holidays may feel much more sinister, bleak and intolerable. The holidays may be filled with memories of heartache and heartbreak. It may be a time that is vividly
caked with memories of the past good and bad, but for some reason the bad often outweighs the good.

The blues do not have to occur because of some heavy weighted trauma or loss, however this does have a bearing on many lives. The blues may be related to the season itself. They may represent the lack of family and friends. It may be fostered by feelings of rejection and experiences of the past. It may be stimulated by our perceptions and beliefs of our personal worth. They may be fueled by the media’s idealistic image of the holidays
and ours may not match that perfect snapshot. The blues are indeed the grinch of emotions and feelings taking away our right to experience authentic happiness. So what is it about the holidays that causes you to feel the blues? Are the holidays a reminder of good times or the bad ones? Have the holidays been masked by something egregious or reminders of something that you loath? What is it about the word that causes
you angst and emotional indigestion? For many, these times of festivities, celebrations, and reaction. You would think that the holidays would represent the same for all individuals, but you must take into account events leading up to the holidays; the holidays; and the biopsychosocial environment of the individual.

Life is not perfect and nor are the holidays. For you, they may represent something of an egregious nature. It may be a reminder of a particular loss or traumatic experience. There may be financial burdens associated with the holidays and obligations that make it difficult to truly celebrate. As a collective body of people, we have a particular ideological perspective around the holiday and the celebrations therein. This season may
not represent a time of immense pleasure enveloping ideas like peace, joy and love, rather they may be filled with a sense of disconnect, displeasure, unhappiness, misery, obligation, and anger.

The holidays often fuel a sense of despair, sadness and overall sense of dreariness. The duration and intensity of these states may vary depending on one’s personal ability to prove resilient, the insulating factors for the individual, and protective factors that ensure their safety and wellbeing. Please note, if an individual is finding it difficult during the holiday, it may be important to encourage them to seek out care. A few of the typical signs associated with the blues include:
• A change in one’s daily routine
• Avoiding being around others
• An inability to concentration or focus
• Personal changes in daily care and hygiene
• Increased irritability or depression
• Expressions of worthlessness
• Personal changes in appetite or diet
• An increased use of recreational drugs, alcohol or prescription drugs
• The loss of pleasure and personal desire
• The rejection of friends and family

It is also important to be aware that mental health issues can exacerbate one’s feelings of loneliness, sadness and despair. For individuals who have mental health concerns, it may be important to reach out before the holidays and to follow through with a mental health practitioner. The holidays are often known to exaggerate and intensify feelings and emotions for individuals not suffering from a mental health issue, but add a mental health
issue, then you add to the challenges already facing that person.

During the holidays it is important to remember to maintain a balanced life. Do not place any unnecessary burdens on yourself and avoid placing yourself in financial jeopardy. Avoid using recreational drugs and alcohol if you are feeling at odds with your emotions. Remember never to mix alcohol and recreational drugs with prescription medication. It’s prudent that you keep your personal routines: Do not avoid maintaining a regular sleep schedule and try your best to eat a balanced diet. Daily exercise is not only prudent for keeping physically healthy, but there is a direct relationship to your mental health as well. At the end of the day, remember that the holidays are not unlike any other day. Avoid placing any unnecessary pressure on yourself. Remember to act on behalf of your personal needs and the needs of others. Do not accept negative thinking or drama. You do not have to be anyone’s battering ram. It is important to have a balanced and healthy life. Do your best to accept only what you can handle and do not be afraid of voicing your personal needs. Please remember to act as your best ally, advocate for your needs, and do not fear acting
on behalf of yourself.

2520 Vestal Parkway East, PMB #177, Vestal, New York 13850 (206) 430-2611
Email: [email protected]

asadonbrown.com




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

New Year’s Resolutions

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on January 16, 2015 8:00 am

“Faith is not the clinging to a shrine but an endless pilgrimage of the heart.”  ~ Abraham Heschel

At this time of the year, we are encouraged to develop our New Year’s Resolutions. The resolutions may play upon our heartstrings, moral compasses, religious ideological viewpoints, or the need for physical and mental improvement. Resolutions are not only geared towards improvement of the individual, but as well as the improvement of societies’ moral and ethical compasses. While many may disagree, I unequivocally believe that the key to moving forward, as well as, establishing new pathways in this life, must begin by forgiving ourselves and forgiving others.

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO MOVING FORWARD

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.”  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

A key to moving forward, is forgiving others, as well as your own person. Forgiveness is not only a state of mind, but it is a state of being. It is woven through the very essence of our being. Forgiveness is a constant attitude occurring through a purposeful action. As humans, we are instinctively designed to forgive. It is only when we choose not to forgive that our minds, bodies, and spirits begin to experience disrepair. Those who choose not to forgive; choose to harbor the wrongs of others and of their own person. Thus, frequently developing physiological and psychological signs and symptoms associated with stress, anxiety, and depression. Forgiveness cleanses the body, ridding it of the decay of negativity, disappointment, and heartache. It is through the act of forgiveness, that we can live a balanced and well-adjusted life. Forgiveness is the key to living life productively. Being productive enables us to be effective in this life, by producing the desires and intended results with which we may choose to acquire. Forgiveness is a purposeful action filtered through a permanent attitude.

WHAT IS A RESOLUTION?

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice.” ~ T. S. Eliot

The basic principle of a resolution is to be firm with one’s decisions, opinions, intentions, and expressions. It is through a resolution that we clarify our stance, becoming a decisive person. Being decisive is intent on settling an issue or a set of issues, by producing a definite result.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA