Often when client’s presenting issue is of abusive relationships, one of the possible reasons is they lack of the skill of being assertive. So sharing the information about self-identity, boundary issues, and teaching the skill of being assertiveness become an inseparable part of counselling.
However, the topic of being assertiveness has to be handled sensitively for clients who come from different cultural backgrounds, such as Chinese. Chinese value the virtues of tolerance, harmony, and of sacrificing their own needs for the sake of other parties, and also give up their desires. So the teaching of being assertive, speak up for yourself, declare your own need may sound like the opposite, going against all of their old doctrines.
When the Chinese client comes in for counselling, they may feel depressed because of the abusive situation. While, within their mentality, most of the times they still want to believe that what they have done is worthwhile, has value and meaning. They believe people will respect them by their acts of sacrifice, tolerance, and their resilience. So when a counselor introduces the concept of assertiveness, standing up and speaking for their feelings, thoughts, ideas; it could cause tremendous stress to client, which may lead to a certain level of confusion and the client may reject the suggestion.
*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA


