The Love Language

In this day and age, I find that the daily stressors are overpowering and overwhelming the initiative and desire to put that extra effort into making things work in relationships. In Session you hear things like:

• We hardly see each other.
• We don’t have time for each other
• We are working late hours in order to pay the bills
• By the time we complete everything that has to be done in a day, there is no time for ourselves
• Because of the pace that we have set, the pressures have us coming home angry, upset, short- tempered, with no more energy to give to anyone else
• We’re always arguing or yelling at each other about something
• The kids won’t even listen to us
• He/she never listens to or hears me

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Every once in a while I have to take off my individualistic hat and put on my collective hat.  Today’s blog is simply a reminder to people about the importance of the collective.  As individual counsellors, we are often isolated in the work we do.  We do find other, like-minded, people to associate.  We seek out peers for reflective practice.  We collaborate on projects.  When we work in isolation, we tend to forget that there is a bigger picture in the world of counselling.  We forget to remember (or is it that remember to forget) about all the larger collection of counsellors out there that creates the profession.  Without this larger body, individuals would struggle worse than they are now to form their identity as a counsellor.  It is likely that it is because of this larger body that the individual has a choice of their identity at all. It is also likely that due to this body, the community at large sees counselling as a professional body as one that is governed by a regulatory body and managed by a code of ethics; that counsellors are accountable to this governing body (though voluntarily) as well as to the public. 

I guess that the point of my preaching today is to remind people that that collective is coming together in Calgary, Alberta this Spring – May 24-27, 2011 in the form of a conference.  The newly formed Alberta/NWT Chapter will be there looking for ways to build its’ own presence.  The theme is fitting with this discussion;  Reflecting on Self and Practice.  The importance of these conferences is not just the education credits one picks up, but the actual bonding and building of the profession.  Among the social opportunities, there is the intrinsic value of developing a sense of belonging (something we all strive for).  Make sure to find your way to Calgary, Alberta for the conference, and, if it pertains to you… seek out the newly formed Alberta/NWT chapter of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association.  Find out what they can do for you… or, more importantly, provide your input in what they will do for you.

Usual disclaimer:  These are the thoughts and opinions of the author.  They do not necessarily reflect the whole of the counselling community or the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. 

Career counsellors, school counsellors, marriage therapists, e-counsellors, hypnotherapists, child therapists,  counselling online, telephone counselling, EAP counsellors, Wellness counsellors,.  There are all kinds of therapists seeking clients and trying to make their way in the world; finding their niche, so to speak.  The counselling process, across the board, is primarily the same.  A decision is made to approach someone to assist with a presenting concern; the development of a helping relationship; an interchange of talking and listening to address the issues and termination of the helping relationship.  So why all the different distinctions?  One can explain the differences in terms of specialization.  We – as therapists – feel drawn more toward one area than another, likely because of our own life experiences (i.e. we had a helpful experience with our own marriage, so start developing interest in helping others with theirs); whether good or bad; the recovering alcoholic becoming an addictions counsellor.

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