Tag Archives: counselling

Psycho-Veda-Going Back to My Roots

Posted by: Priya Senroy on October 25, 2013 4:02 pm

It was a fascinating topic of discussion….something has stimulated me a degree that perhaps I will delve into studying it. I never knew that such a term existed. So when I first heard it, my first question was what is Psycho Veda. So here is a definition. According to the Indian Journal of Psychiatry, an article on this topic describes that when we integrate the contemporary art of psychotherapy with the ancient science of Ayurveda, it becomes a powerful combination that is called Psycho Veda. Ayurveda has its own identity as most ancient and traditional System of Medicine in India. Integrating Psychotherapy and Vedic principles teaches us how to rediscover critical knowledge and awareness of the natural forces and rhythms that compliment and strengthen our human experience, through the understanding of the psyche and what our inner experiences are and also involving practical daily activities with thorough attention to our total environment to bring about radical changes in our mental outlook and improve physical health. So what does it confirm for me as a counsellor from Indian background-that it is possible to make counselling relative to the client-no matter how western the concept is, no matter how the nature of immigration is, I am sure counsellors whose background and clients are as diverse as mine, will be able to find that connection between their own culture and the modern notions of counselling/ psychiatry/ psychotherapy and integrate them into their practice-just requires going back to your roots.

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

End of Summer

Posted by: Priya Senroy on September 30, 2013 10:06 am

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Hello Counsellors….

Hope you had great summer… for me… It was a time for letting o as well as acquiring new information to sustain me during the Canadian Winter Hibernation….. I had the opportunity to attend events and workshops through-out the summer and as part of my work, I attended a settlement service event here in Toronto which was attended by service providers from as far as PEI and Manitoba.

We as counselors working with diversity are always looking for best practices that we can incorporate into our exiting work and also trying not to reinvent the wheel. In one such chance encounter, I came across the Aurora Therapy Program for Immigrant and Refugee Families, who are based in Winnipeg, Manitoba and are also featured in the Citizenship and Immigration Canada website. I got to meet eh ‘therapists;’ and was enriched by the work that they are doing. Its a new program and this is how they describe w=the need for its existence in their website: The new Therapy Program for Immigrant and Refugee Families came about as a result of our efforts to become more involved with our surrounding community. We recognized that there was a large part of this community that we had not been able to serve due to various obstacles, including language, cultural differences, and the stigma many members of refugee and immigrant communities associate with mental health issues (Aurora Family Therapy Centre).

I get the opportunity to work with immigrants and refugees and have often been approached to support issues like Your Family Support Counsellor provides support for:

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Creating Life

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on August 30, 2013 3:05 pm

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“Having kids – the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings – is the biggest job anyone can embark on. As with any risk, you have to take a leap of faith and ask lots of wonderful people for their help and guidance. I thank God every day for giving me the opportunity to parent.” ~ Maria Shriver

As a couple, there are many challenges that you will face simply being within a relationship. Your relationship may tinker between the off-and-on again paradigm. You may dislike your spouse’s personal habits, hygiene, mindsets, and/or belief systems.

There are many variables that can cause a couple to have relationship strife. If an individual within the relationship has an addiction or addictive personality; the nonaddictive partner may feel neglected or barricade from getting to “really” know their spouse.

Unfortunately, we live in an era of global financial hardships and economic woes. The lack of employment opportunities and corporation layoffs has become the norm within of our society. Infuse the societal troubles with a lack of time and you will create the perfect storm for a newly formed or broken relationship.

Not all are facing the hardships of financial woes or employment layoffs. In some cases, the challenges for a relationship may center around a lack of intimacy or unrealistic expectations about sex. Sexual expectations and intimacy are all too often intertwined. While sexual expectations are often developed early on within a relationship, we seldom speak of our sexual desires early on. Unfortunately, sexual conversations most commonly occur when the relationship is in an unhealthy state. The couples discussions are often filled with anger, frustration, bitterness, rage, and confusion about the relationship and the sexuality within. When the sexuality of a relationship is discussed between a couple; there are commonly feelings of despair, resentment, and hopelessness until the matter is resolved in a healthy manner. It is vitally important to avoid creating life if your sexual and/or your personal relationship is unhealthy.

If a couple is doing well, then-and-only-then, should they consider the possibility of having children. Having a child can prove the greatest stressor of a relationship. Even the very discussion of having a child, can spur heated debates and personal battles.

THE CHALLENGES OF CREATING LIFE…

“I’m sorry, it’s true. Having children really changes your view on these things. We’re born, we live for a brief instant, and we die. It’s been happening for a long time. Technology is not changing it much – if at all.”
~ Steve Jobs

As a therapist, I have counselled a number of individual’s on the decision to have or not to have children. “If you’re a couple, the decision to have a child or remain childless is a joint decision.” (Wade & Kovacs, 2005, p. 28) Having children will have a significant impact upon your relationship. It is paramount that if-and-only-if, you, as a nucleus couple, decide to create life; then-and-only-then should you even consider undertaking the obligation of forming such life. Regrettably, not every couple has been equal players in the creation of life, nor has every person within a relationship known about the lives that are being created. Of course, if we wanted, we could open Pandora’s box to all the possible discussions about sex and sexuality, but the intent of this article is and has been solely designed to discuss creating life and the meaning therein.

The challenges are unlimited when considering the creation of life. If I decide to have a child, then I must consider whether or not I want to be eternally connected to my partner. Even the legendary Dr. Albert Ellis was once quoted as saying, “I would have liked having children to some degree, but frankly I haven’t got the time to take the kids to the (swear word) ballgame.”

Sadly, the possibility of a relationship ceasing does exist. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary that to consider whether or not we would like to be forever connected or linked to our partner. We seldom consider the implications of a relationship ceasing, but if so, the ramifications of creating life can have a dire effect upon the life of the child. For some the creation of life is a good idea at the time; for others, there are religious implications behind the creation of children; while for others, there remains little explanation or consideration.

CHILDREN ARE NOT…

Children are not the answer to a bad relationship. Unfortunately, I have encountered more than one couple or partner who has decided to have a baby to mend or repair their unhealthy relationship. Having a child should never be the remedy for a broken relationship, no more than having sex should be about forgiveness.

It is not uncommon for someone to think that a baby will rekindle the flame. For many, it is thought that a baby will reunite or repair a broken relationship. First of all, if a baby is born healthy, then it might serve as a positive measure within the relationship. However, if the baby is born unhealthy, then the couple’s level of stress and anxiety will reach peak heights. A child’s life should never be considered as a healing aide within a relationship. “If a baby is brought into a relationship in which one partner is opposed to having a baby, the relationship will usually suffer, and as a result so does the child.” (Wade & Kovacs, 2005, p. 28)

Furthermore, it is not uncommon for those in bad relationships to manipulate their partner by the discussing the possibility of having a child. I have encountered both men and women who have used “a baby” as a source of manipulation within their relationship. Baby manipulation is one of the most common themes of bad relationships.

“I will have a baby with you, if you…”
“I should have a baby with my partner, because this will heal our relationship.”
“I really can’t stand the guilt of denying him or her the right to a child.”
“While I really do not care for children, I will have a child so that we remain a couple.”
“My faith insists that we have children, so I think I will have a child to appease my faith.”

As a potential parent, your priorities should shift. You are no longer alone in this world. You are now forever bonded to another person on this planet. As a potential parent, you are creating a life that will forever need your unwavering guidance.

CHILDREN ARE…

“Restaurants are like having children: it’s fun to make them, maybe, but then you have them for good and bad. You are going to have to raise them and if something goes wrong when they are 30 years old, they will still be your little boy.” ~ Wolfgang Puck

Children are the greatest teachers you will ever encounter. I have personally attended more than 13 1/2 years of university, but you can rest assured; that my greatest teachers have yet to set a foot in a university classroom. Children can serve as your most profound teacher, guide, and inspiration. It is amazing how a child who has been egregiously harmed in this life, can serve as an awe-inspiring motivator of life. The life of a child is typically filled with an abundance of resiliency.

Children should never be considered as a remedy for a bad relationship. If you are struggling within your relationship, it is prudent that you consider seeking the counsell of a therapist. Furthermore, be certain that you and your partner can be intricate players within the counselling environment. If not, your problems may continue to exist.

A child is a mirage, often appearing to be less complex than they really are. No child has ever been born with an owner’s manual. No child has ever sat down at their birth and discussed the meaning of life or the purpose of their own life. Yet, many who have a fantasy of sharing their life with another, rarely give great debate or heated discussion before bringing forth life.

Children are magical creatures who seem to bring forth our maternal and paternal instincts. “Yes, a baby is so powerfully appealing that people are even entertained watching it sleep. Just notice how grown people tiptoe to a crib and look down at a baby.” (Cosby, 1987, p. 22) Baby’s are undoubtedly alluring. It is often this mystical side to babyhood that we mistake their incredible powers as being capable of healing or bringing aide to our relationship. Be more than certain that if you decide to have a child, that it is a decision made with a clear consciousness and a sound mind.

Children are forever.

Authors: Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., N.C.C.M.

Website: http://www.asadonbrown.com

REFERENCES

Brown, A. D. (2010) Waiting to live, Bloomington, IN: IUniverse

Cosby, B. (1987) Fatherhood. New York, NY: Berkley Books

Forward, S. (2001) Emotional blackmail, When the people in your life use fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers

McCoy, D. (2006) The manipulative man, Identify his behavior, counter the abuse, regain control. Avon, MA: Adams Media

Wade, D. & Kovacs, L. (2005) I want a baby, He doesn’t, How both partners can make the right decision at the right time. Avon, MA: Adams Media

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Personal Empowerment

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on August 30, 2013 2:52 pm

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“A strong man cannot help a weaker unless the weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition.” ~ James Allen

We associate empowerment with the liberation of a group of people, race, creed, religious ideology or personal belief system. Empowerment is the enabling of another person through the strengthening of their personal self-esteem and the development of their personal ego. It is through this development of the ego that an individual gains an individualistic impression of their self-importance and their inner self. The empowerment of an individual should never come at the cost of another’s rights, freedoms, or liberties.

EMPOWERMENT’S ORIGINATION

As children, our personal self-esteem, self-worth, and internal drive are enhanced by those who shape our being. It is through the recognition of our personal goodness, abilities, talents, worth, and individuality that we gain a healthy sense of self. When we are empowered, we are less willing and likely to be drug through the mud by another.

Empowerment teaches us that we are worth more than the negativity that may be slung our way. Even if, we are responsible for a negative deed, act, or event; it is through our own acceptance of our roles in life that we maintain our personal empowerment. It is the acceptance of our roles in life that we are living a life guided by personal responsibility. Personal responsibility is the willingness to accept both the good and bad choices in life. It is through personal responsibility that we accept the ownership for our lives.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Staying True Unto Oneself

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on August 14, 2013 3:10 pm

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“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
~ Steve Jobs

What does it mean to “stay true unto oneself?” Shakespeare spoke of this immortal question, others have reformatted and repackaged the idea, but still many remain uncertain of the essential meaning of being true unto oneself.

What is the importance of staying true unto oneself? However you want to package the basic premise is: be authentic in all that you do. Do not waver from the nature of your true person. Whoever you are, allow that person to shine through.

AUTHENTICITY

Authentic people are undisputedly genuine. Genuine people do not rely on the approval or acceptance of others, rather they diligently seek to be themselves. They deny the ownership of critical words or deeds that others lay at their feet. Genuine people are not perfect, but strive for improvement on a daily and frequent basis. They are also capable of accepting positively constructive criticism, while denying the negative intentions, deeds, actions, or criticisms that others may choose to offer. An authentic person is a sincere person relying upon their inner being for acceptance and approval.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Dungeons and Dragons: The Wii Habilitation of Video Game Therapy

Posted by: Priya Senroy on July 12, 2013 1:03 pm

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Hello readers!

I hope that you are spending as much time as outdoors as possible whenever you are able to take time away from work or in my case from video games. Am I getting addicted…..hope not but playing Dungeons and Dragons has definitely picked my curiosity and all this because I wanted to research it for a case. A client of mine has been grappling with cyber addiction and in my quest to find out what it is….I have succumbed to it too..

Interestingly…..it’s not as bad as it seems. Did you know that Video games have found their way into the clinical care of youth in most medical fields, and academic interest in their use is increasing steadily? The popularity of video games among youth may qualify them as a useful tool in psychotherapy for children and adolescents (Ceranoglu., 2010). In fact, psychotherapists and counselors have started using this medium as an assessment, intervention as well as rehabilitative tool while working with adolescent clients. Now I found that there were not much research available in this area and there were few article on this subject so there is not evidence based practice to support the efficacy.

Studies have been conducted using it to teach focusing skills to children with ADD to using it as a rehabilitative tool while working with patients with Parkinson’s disease, In fact it called Wii Habilitation.

But what interested me the most was a portion of an article which states that certain games, which are still in clinical trial have physiological sensors that are built into the game hardware which allows players to learn how to monitor the physiological manifestations of anxiety and stress, or what is commonly called their “fight or flight” response. The players use those same sensors as controllers to move themselves through the game by monitoring and controlling their characters and the stress responses they represent ( Sugarman, 2011).

So with the new found knowledge I am trying to discover for myself the ‘benefits’ of being a gamer , get better understanding of my client as well as use it as a part of my counselling tools and techniques

What is Your Source of Inspiration?

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on June 11, 2013 4:42 pm

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“The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”
~ Stephen Hawking

What is your source inspiration? What or who inspires you to live and prove productive? Is your source of inspiration a person, a place or thing? If so, what is that source of inspiration? Are you inspired by a spiritual being or religious ideological viewpoint? Is your inspiration your soulmate or an important friend?

Why is it important to be inspired? Whether you are inspired by another individual or something within your own person; inspiration is the motivator within life. Inspiration is the catalyst for prodding you forward. What is the importance of inspiration? If we are inspired, we will inspire those around us. Inspiration beseeches inspiration.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Personal Responsibility

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on May 23, 2013 4:28 pm

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“Personal responsibility is the willingness to completely accept choices that we have made throughout our lives.”
~ Asa Don Brown, Waiting to Live

Personal responsibility is the ability and willingness to accept our past, whether good or bad as a marker within our history. It is also recognizing that our history does not have to define us or be the determining factor of our lives.

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT

Responsibility is not identifying with our past failures or successes. Nor is it allowing others to place the past upon our person. Responsibility cannot be the acceptance of other’s failures or successes. We may have all had a moment in time, whereby we slough off personal responsibility, transfer personal responsibility or blame others for our failures or the successes in our lives. Personal responsibility is not the denial of our successes or of our failures, rather it is the willingness to take ownership of our personal history.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Benefits of Friendship on a Relationship

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on May 6, 2013 1:47 pm

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“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The key to a healthy relationship is the purposeful development of a healthy friendship. Couples who have achieved the merits of friendship, have strived to develop their relationship beyond the confines the marriage.

“Excluding some very good family relationships, the only other close adult relationships we have besides marriage are with our long-term friends. What is extremely interesting about these two affiliations is that marriage is the least successful adult relationship, whereas long-term friendships are by far the most successful.” (Glasser & Glasser, 2000, p. 17)

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

East is East West is West…..

Posted by: Priya Senroy on April 16, 2013 2:00 am

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Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem called “The Ballad of East & West” whose initial line reads: “East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet.” Tis particular line resonates with me as I worked with a group of first generation South Asian Women in a ‘Who am I?” workshop. What struck with me was as if Kipling was that all of us are, to some extent at least, unable to adapt to the ways of others. He wrote this over a century ago, long before anyone became aware of the term multicultural and while we are trying to make Canada a multicultural mosaic-why do some of us including me can relates to our culture more than the Western culture? Why is it that even though being seen as an independent successful person in the Western Society, my genetic framework is steeped in the traditional Eastern Society? Why is it that no matter how much I try to blend the Mocha and the White—they always stand apart? Why is it that my patriarchal upbringing finds it hard to break out of its shackle—As a counsellor practicing in Toronto, coming from an eastern background, using western techniques, I often find that its best to leave the two cultures separate—Yes my Canadian born daughters are more mocha latte than just mocha but I am finding as I am aging that it’s okay to be traditional and try to live like it is back home in some ways….and equally so it is oaky to accept clients who are not comfortable living in multicultural environment-I think it boils down to respecting our differences yet celebrating them. So in my workshop, we all agreed to disagree and conclude that we are who we are….that some of us will be more east than west than others …. And that’s who I am ….And that is okay.

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA