The Western model of counselling encourages us therapists to help our clients explore their issues, develop insight, develop coping mechanisms and tools to make their own decisions. We encourage autonomy, which we believe will empower our clients to find their own solutions. After all, isn’t our goal usually to help our clients achieve self-sufficiency? We’re not supposed to give advice, right?

This model doesn’t always work for all cultures. In the East, collectivist attitudes still prevail over the individualistic mind-set. Problems are solved within the community and family system. A young Omani client who came to see me for marriage counseling told me that back home specialists such as psychologists are few in number, because there is a good support system already in place in the form of extended family members……….who give advice. My knee-jerk reaction was, “does that really help people deal with life problems in the most considered, consistent and constructive way?”. He grinned, and reminded me of the significantly lower rates of depression and anxiety.

A Japanese client who was seeing me for marriage counseling asked me bluntly “what should I do?” This is after she revealed that her spouse had cheated on her. Her expectation was that she had paid money for counseling, and if I don’t give her advice, she may have wasted her money. After -all in the English language, to counsel means to advise.

I work with a very culturally diverse population.  Hence, I need to be diverse in my approaches with them. Symptoms and behaviors may have no cultural boundaries, but clients differ in their needs from therapy. Sometimes open-ended questions leave the client feeling confused, weak and scared. In my view, occasionally giving a client my advice often results in them walking away with a sense of relief, which in turn leads to uplifted mood, reduced anxiety, and strangely, a sense of confidence. Counseling goal achieved! People may wonder if this hinders building long-term psychological resiliency. My conclusion on that is that it’s my job to work within their cultural norms, and if seeking sound advice helps them, then let that be a coping mechanism for them to use now and in the future.

If client beneficence is the framework for counsellor ethics, I believe we need to be very flexible with our theoretical approaches. Self-sufficiency isn’t a goal for everyone. Rogerian- style unconditional positive regard and  person-centered empathic listening can lay the foundation for an emotional support strategy that includes advice-giving – if that’s what the client needs. It’s a no-brainer that when I give advice it has to be through the worldview of my clients. As a counselor I can sometimes model the attitude that makes them feel truly supported – the role of advice-giver.

Hello  Peers…..

This moth has been interesting in many ways for my personal growth and also for my counselling practice. I attended a lecture on diversity in the classroom with the local school board as I have started to offer groups for youth with disabilities and also working closely with the LGBTQ community. It was interesting different perspectives the teachers, the counselors and the school administration brought forth in their discussions.   I found myself questioning that no matter how much we are trying to promote diversity, we usually focus on the diversity of our clients-When we talk abut working from an anti oppressive framework, we talk about the clients and often forget that we as educators, mentors, counselors  also brings a range of diversity issues to the space, into the sessions.,

Every counsellor  brings their  physical appearance and culture into the room at the same time as the clients  do. Is what one of the speakers shared. How I look, how I speak, how I act upon my suggestions), does have a profound effect on the interactions in my sessions. And more than once I have been aware of possible reactions among the clients to my race, gender, age, ethnicity, physical attributes, and abilities. Clients have not engaged with me wins session not because of any counselling issue but because I am either a woman, or have  an ethnic background or do not have any visible disability and other  perceptions. Have I felt offended—yes and no—yes…because I have felt inadequate sometimes-I am human after all and perhaps a part of time wants to say that I am a good counsellor, what has my diversity got to do anything with it….but I have also learned to prepare for such reactions  and knowing that  my practice will involve not only knowing as much as you can about my clients , but also turning the mirror to myself , and finding out more about my  own diversity issues.

So here are questions that the presenters left  us with to reflect on by reminding us that we  might identify our own attitudes toward diversity by remembering certain pivotal moments in our  lives by asking ourselves  the following questions:

Recall the incident in which you first became aware of differences. What was your reaction? Were you the focus of attention or were others? How did that affect how you reacted to the situation?

What are the “messages” that you learned about various “minorities” or “majorities” when you were a child? At home? In school? Have your views changed considerably since then? Why or why not?

Recall an experience in which your own difference put you in an uncomfortable position vis-à-vis the people directly around you. What was that difference? How did it affect you?

How do your memories of differences affect you today? How do they (or might they) affect your practice?

I hope that we will spend some time in our practice from time to time to ponder on these questions and tweak if we needed to work on our personal diverse attitude inventory.