Blog #6? Perhaps I’ve lost track

Posted by: Curtis Stevens on June 22, 2011 2:05 pm

I seem to have lost track of my ongoing writing. My last entry illustrated the use of re-framing in helping a client set goals. There is a science, or perhaps an art to taking undesirable events and reframing them into something useable. It is more than just looking on the bright side – but actually changing the content/tone/perceived intent of the event into terms that are workable for the client and, perhaps, the therapist.

I once had a client tell me – in reference to his over-zealous parenting approach – that parenting is just like “breaking a horse.” Even though I am an Alberta boy, I knew nothing about breaking a horse and proceeded to tell this parent so. I told him that he might as well be talking about training a dolphin as I don’t know very much about that either. What I did know was that when training dolphins, the trainers don’t beat, scold, timeout, or withdraw any form of affection for not performing. In fact, according to my rudimentary knowledge, the trainer simply rewards the dolphin with a treat for performing and step toward the desired outcome. For example, if the dolphin were to touch it’s nose on a hoop – paired with a signal, it would get a treat. Once that was successful, the signal would be given and the hoop raised and so on until the dolphin is jumping out of the water through the hoop to the signal. In this case, the reward is a fish.

When dealing with troublesome behaviour of youth, it is rather unproductive to focus all of your energy on pointing out what the youth is doing wrong – believe me when I say they already know. In fact, primarily all it does is set up a division between parent and youth. Set a goal – decide the painfully smallest steps in reaching that goal and focus your efforts on rewarding the completion of the small steps. If you’re having trouble getting your youth to attend school, go for a drive or a walk by the school, and if they happen to look at the school while you are going past, throw them a fish (figuratively speaking). When they take a step toward the school, throw them a fish. However, I wouldn’t recommend using a fish all the time. A “good job” and a pat on the back go a long way – especially if most of your previous interactions have been fighting over the task.

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Professor Tony Watts Interview: “Organizations create careers, but also, careers create organizations”

Posted by: Mark Franklin on June 11, 2011 5:23 pm

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If you’ve ever wondered how meaningful your career is to your employer, or how important your contribution is in transforming your organization, you’re in luck, because Professor Tony Watts has some powerful things to say about it.

“Organizations create careers, but also, careers create organizations. It’s the way people develop their talents, through movement, that actually creates dynamic organizations,” said Tony Watts, Visiting Professor of Career Development at the University of Derby, England. “Some organizations do absolutely understand that, not all do. Encouraging organizations to take the careers of their staff seriously is very important.” Tony Watts has lectured in over 60 countries, and written books, articles and commissioned studies, recently focusing on the use of internet technology to support career development. Mostly though, Tony is an impassioned advocate for widespread career wellbeing through government policy, educational institutions, and organizations. He was a guest on our radio show, Career Buzz, on June 10, 2011.

Isn’t it refreshing to consider that your career helps to create your organization? And if that’s the case as Tony Watts suggests, doesn’t it make sense to establish a healthy share of the responsibility for developing our careers for the future? Of course it’s still true that, as Professor Watts says, “Security lies in employability not employment” so we all should be staying sharp and employable, and experts suggest that we take 70% of the responsibility for our careers. What about the other 30%? That’s where organizations could be supporting employees through career conversations, mentoring, job shadowing, skill development and annual career check-ups with a career professional.

But do people want help developing their careers for the future?

You bet they do. And to illustrate the demand for career services in the UK, Professor Watts told about a career program supported by a marketing program. TV commercials and social media were used to spread the word on a career helpline and web-based services. “The results when we set up these call centres was that we received a million calls a year. So the demand is absolutely there.”

The whole episode of Career Buzz is worthwhile listening, including insights from Heather Turnbull, international president of the Association of Career Professionals International. Or tune in to the five minutes from 32:11 to hear Tony Watts talk about the themes in this post.

What’s your perspective on this? If you’re an employee, what support have you received from your employer to help you develop your career? If you’re a manager or organizational leader, what are your hopes and fears about providing career help to employees? Post a comment, get involved in the conversation!

–Mark Franklin www.careercycles.com

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Ultimate Reframe

Posted by: Curtis Stevens on May 26, 2011 10:10 am

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I was watching Dr. Drew the other night and they were talking about teens that self-harm. I was reminded of a girl that I worked with in a residential treatment centre who had an affliction for inflicting pain on herself by cutting. One night the night shift staff did such a good job searching her room that they had taken all the sharp objects out of her room. When I came in on the morning shift, they had had such a rough night with her; not sleeping, acting up. They were really worried about her (let alone frustrated after a long night). When I talked with her I tried to understand why she was so agitated. She pointed out to me that I smoked. I said yeah (this was a long time ago – when smoking was still cool). She asked how I felt when I ran out of cigarettes, even though I knew I could still get more. I had to admit that I felt a little panicked. She indicated that that is how she felt when they cleaned her out. She didn’t feel safe; she felt anxious. From that point on – for the next few days – it was sufficient for her to bring out of her room one or two sharp objects at bed time. She wasn’t suicidal and it seemed that by bringing out the one or two items she was saying, “I could have, but didn’t.” In other words “I’m safe tonight.” That wasn’t to say she stopped altogether though. When I asked her what she got out of cutting in other discussions with her, she indicated that she got a rush out of it. When she was feeling bad, or, in her case a lot of the time, guilty, she would cut to feel better. One night she came back to the centre from an unsupervised outing visibly stoned. She tried to hide it and tried to go straight to her room; head hung low. Rather than scolding her and making her feel guilty (which would have likely resulted in more cutting), I thought I’d throw her for a loop and congratulate her. She was surprised and asked what I was congratulating her for. I said that it was obvious that she was feeling bad and was looking for a different way to get a rush to feel better. I was congratulating her for trying something different than cutting to get the rush. She was a little stunned, but I think I was successful in planting a seed in her brain; not a seed that drugs are good, but a seed that she was looking for something different. Looking for something different was the first step in reaching her goal of feeling better. Conversations from that point on were around exploring other – non-harmful – ways to get that same rush (i.e. exercising until you puke was one of the suggestions we came up with) and to set goals around that.

A good counselor doesn’t tell the client what their goals are. They find them from the stories the clients tell. Her cutting was an attempt at feeling better. Her goal was to feel better, not hurt herself. Once she realized that there were other options, she was more open to exploring other; less harmful options. Only by truly listening do we find the gems that we can then turn around to help a client find ambiguity. Once they find ambiguity, they start to search for alternative solutions to clear up the ambiguity. She didn’t know she was looking for other ways to feel better, but I was able to help her think she was. Or maybe I’m just manipulative 😉

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Talk about Homework before Leaving the Counselling Office

Posted by: Debbie Grove on May 24, 2011 1:21 pm

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You are likely familiar with the idea that ‘homework’ between counselling sessions is often suggested by counsellors. Homework comes in many different forms (e.g., reading a self-help book, starting a journal, practising a skill such as stress management, working on communicating with your partner, noticing what triggers depression, and so on). However, homework is not always helpful and effective — below are some key reasons why this is the case.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Snapshot from Ottawa: National Symposium on Counsellor Mobility in Canada

Posted by: Curtis Stevens on May 9, 2011 9:15 am

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Here I sit on day two of the National Symposium on Counsellor Mobility in Canada. I am at the Sheraton Hotel in beautiful downtown Ottawa. The room is a buzz of counsellors of all walks of life and academics (or a combination of both). The conversation is a combination of “what did you do last night” and, of course, the profession of counselling and the process of regulating the profession. As a nubie to this group, I see old friendships rekindled and ongoing networking of the “power hub” of the National association. I’m a little reserved; meeting those at my own table (other nubies), but not really “hob-knobbing” Yesterday was a discussion on survey results that identifies a common definition of counseling and a scope of practice that attempts to encompass the variance of counselor activity. The afternoon session was focused on reviewing and approving a format for the code of ethics that can be utilized by each of the provincial bodies and each of the different groups within the provincial bodies. As expected, different provinces are at different stages of development in their bid to legislate/regulate; Quebec and Nova Scotia being close to completion, while other areas – like the prairies are just starting. Some provinces, like Alberta, have umbrella legislation that we are trying to “fit” into. Areas like Nova Scotia are having to create their own legislation. What is common amongst the members is their drive to create an identity for Counsellors across the country. Within that identity, they are trying to create a path that is easily navigational from province to province while maintaining a high enough standard to protect the best interest of the people that access their supports. What does this mean for the average counselor? Probably nothing, unless, of course, you are in a position where you choose to or have to move from one province to the next. I am hoping that we, as counsellors, will have a common language to be able to tell people what it is that we do. Even though we are such a diversified group we can “celebrate the things we have in common.” The day’s activity was on the agreement of the process involved in developing a framework for a comprehensive Code of Ethics and Standards of Practice.

It’s hard to capture everything within 500 words that went on in this group. Each human being is driven by a desire to belong (following, of course, our more primal needs). As counsellors we attempt to help people with that process (to belong in their group, relationships with others, and relationships with themselves). This symposium creates opportunities to help us, as counsellors, find a sense of greater belonging. My job right now is to point you in the right direction; which, for starts, is http://www.ccacc.ca/en/theprofession/interprovincialmobility/

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Holding Feelings In Art: A Container For Emotions

Posted by: Hailing Huang on May 6, 2011 10:11 am

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When my client, a 10-year-old boy came into my office the other day, he shuffled around the room, pushing and poking at random objects. He made it clear that he was not interested in talking and he seemed frustrated in my questions to him. Knowing that he had been getting into trouble at school for angry outbursts at his teacher and other students, it was my impression that he was storing strong emotions in regards to his parents’ impending divorce and custody situation. When he sat at the art table and began to cut paper with scissors, I asked him whether he would like to sit on the floor with me and rip large pieces of paper. He sat beside me and timidly began to rip, each time looking at me for assurance. With a nod, I indicated to him that it was all right and with earnest he began to rip the paper.

What started as a small invitation for the boy to express his anger became a huge breakthrough for him and for our therapeutic relationship. He ripped with enthusiasm and sometimes aggression and I ripped the paper along side of him. We then created a piece of art, sticking the pieces of paper together to form collages and images.

Creating art not only gave the boy a vehicle to express his strong emotions, but it also provided a metaphorical container to hold them. At school, his feelings erupted and affected those around him since his teacher and peers were targets of his unfocused anger. However, the art created boundaries in which he could safely release his emotions and he did not have to worry about harming anyone including him or me.

The art as a container, in which he poured his strongest feelings, also provided a means in which I could relate to him. Had he showed me his rage by wildly punching or putting us in danger, then my role would be more to limit him than to relate to him. But by ripping the paper with him, I could share in the experience of his anger and give him an opportunity to release the feelings he had pent up inside. Using art as a container to create boundaries does not constrain expression of emotions but rather provides freedom to release them since a sense of safety has been established. And once the feelings have been released and processed, clients can create some distance from them so that they can continue to move forward with their healing.

Nalini Iype, MC:AT, CCC is an art therapist and counsellor in private practice in Toronto. For more information visit www.ArtTherapySolutions.com or email her at [email protected]

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Bullying as Instinct: The Neufeld Paradigm

Posted by: Guest on April 29, 2011 10:25 am

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Leading researchers in the field of bullying appear to agree on the definition of bullying as deliberate, repeated aggression in which there is an imbalance of power between the child who bullies and the child who is victimized (Juvonen & Graham, 2001; Olweus, 1991; Pepler & Craig, 2000). But I’m wondering: is it correct, strictly speaking, to think of bullying as the result of a deliberate thought process? Or is it not more accurate to look deeper and think of bullying as having its roots in instinct?

Certainly, there are some compelling reasons for wanting to question the former view. Chief among them is the everyday experience teachers and administrators have when they interview students who have been caught bullying.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Second City interview: “I get to laugh every day” and three more ways to thrive in your career

Posted by: Mark Franklin on April 29, 2011 10:11 am

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Klaus Schuller is Executive Director of The Second City Toronto. I interviewed him on Career Buzz on Good Friday. He shared a wealth of career insights, and the 20-minute interview is worth a listen. Here are four of Klaus’s ideas for thriving in your career, accompanied by questions to trigger your own thriving. Leave a comment with your responses!

“I get to laugh every day.” That’s what Klaus said when I asked him what he liked about his career. How many of your clients can say that? Can you?

“Passion for excellence is my strength.” We know what career happiness happens when you get to use your strengths, daily. So when I asked Klaus what strengths he uses on a daily basis, he said, “my passion for excellence.” Surprising answer! Often people name their practical skills like project management or people skills. I thought this was apt and a unique way to describe one’s strength. If a client asked you if this were okay for a job interview response, what would you say?

“I promised myself I’d never do anything that sucked.” Klaus shared with his career story with listeners and identified that promise to himself as a guiding principle. My reaction was that it’s tilted toward the negative, but, hey, it’s been working for Klaus all his life. It’s like a thought test he can use every so often. I imagine him saying to himself, “Does this suck?” If no, continue. If yes, change. What thought test do you have for your career?

“What else are you passionate about?” Klaus hires a lot of people in his leadership position, therefore, he conducts a lot of interviews too. Instead of the usual questions, Klaus targets passion. He’d rather hear people talk about their passion about say, bicycle advocacy, because he knows passion is transferable. If your next prospective employer asks that interview question, what’ll you say?

Let’s get a discussion going! Leave a comment or a question.

–Mark Franklin www.careercycles.com

*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Inner Work On Your Own For Counsellors and Psychotherapists

Posted by: Guest on April 21, 2011 3:17 pm

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Avraham Cohen, Ph.D., R.C.C., C.C.C.
[email protected]

I have the view that as a psychotherapist, I am in the enviable position of being paid to receive feedback that will further my own growth and development. Everyday when I sit with clients I am receiving feedback. This feedback is coming in a variety of forms, most of them indirect and without my client even realizing that I have received something from them that constitutes feedback about who I am as a person, or perhaps better put, who I am not.

I take anything that sets off a strong reaction, a reaction characterized by physiological, emotional, and idea responses that subjectively seem to be bigger than the situation warrants, as a signal that a potential inner work experience has been opened up. I am alert for any tendency to marginalize these responses.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Setting Goals

Posted by: Curtis Stevens on April 19, 2011 10:27 am

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So, as discovered in the last blog, I want to write a book about counselling psychology. I have made the goal specific and measureable. I will know I’m done my goal when I have a finished book in my hand; complete with chapters, paper, binding, and a whimsical but wise looking picture of myself on the inlet, perhaps standing in front of a warm fire, or at the top of a mountain looking regal and…. Oh, but I digress. I decided that I can reach this goal and that the first step in doing so was to enter my name along with the list of others involved with this blog. I will have to force myself to keep writing and meet the schedule for submitting my entries. It will teach me the discipline I will need to write the book. The articles I write may even be edited so that they fit into chapters. Once that becomes a habit – I heard somewhere that it takes 21 days of consistent execution of an activity to make it a habit. Perhaps after 21 entries, this writing will be habit forming. Let’s see… that is 21 submissions, 1 submission every two weeks. That is 42 weeks of blogging to complete my first task. The next task will be to compile these articles and look for common threads, a logical flow of ideas which will become an outline for a book. That’s the next step, to come up with an outline. I might even be able to do that while I’m doing the 42 weeks of blogging. My goal, then, may look something like this:

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA