Intimacy and Personality Type

At Tuesday’s meeting, one of the counsellors brought up this question: if intimacy enhances a couple’s relationship, then how about the relationship with ourselves- the intra-intimacy? And will this type of intra-intimacy help us to build our inter-intimate (couple’s) relationship? This is an interesting question, which leads me to think about what is the definition of intimacy and what is the intra -intimacyship with ourselves?

One of the senior counsellors defined intimacy as: ‘within a relationship, a person’s openness and honesty comes from four perspectives: the mind, heart, body and soul with his/her spouse. The openness and honesty are the keys in couple’s relationship.’ I think this rule can also be applied to intra-intimacy as well. Are we being honest and open mind with our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors? Or do we even know how we feel, think or behave?

In her book “Revolution Come from Within”, Gloria Steinem disclosed that after she wrote the first two hundred pages of the book, she asked a friend who happened to be a family therapist to review it. Her friend commented: “Gloria, you have a self-esteem problem, you forgot to put yourself in.” Gloria Steinem had self-esteem issues!!! ??? Gloria Steinem, a pioneer advocate of the women’s rights movement during the 60’s and 70’s, and also had been named one of the ten most confident women in the United States by “ The Keri Report” . Isn’t it an ironic comment? It seems success does not lead to healthy self–esteem.

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