Tag Archives: Support

How To Make Meaning of Political Violence Directed at Innocent Civilians When it Hits Your Home in Paris on a Random Friday Night?

Posted by: Barry D'Souza on November 18, 2015 4:05 pm

Please note that this blog article was written on November 16th

EiffelTowerThe title of this blog entry follows what I wondered as I came home on the TGV this morning. When the carnage began to unfold Friday night, I was hosting my therapist meditation group. It was only when my son-in-law who texted me to check that I was alright much later – he’d heard of me going to the Bataclan to see concerts many times before – that I had any inkling of war coming to Paris.

I turned on the TV and began to watch news coverage of what was a momentary hiatus in the bloody assault as I cleaned up plates from the potluck that we have after our blissful meditations. I thought, this is the essence of shock! Parisiens, in all variations from the “furthest away” of thinking that anything like that could possibly happen in our streets – were being pulled into something very awful of which only the first few dimensions were perceived.

Most of the restaurant killing had been completed but there were hundreds of hostages in the concert hall. I stayed awake as long as I could. Casualty figures were modest at 1am, but, I knew that when I woke, countless of those hostages would be among the freshly dead that Paris would mourn. When I had to go to bed I felt some nibbling guilt – for weeks I had had plans to catch up with an old friend down in Montpellier. I had a train to catch the next morning. Already, I wasn’t the slightest aware of the killing as it happened, and then when the rest of my Paris would start to reel, I’d be away.

This weekend, as I realized the randomness of who happened to be in the places where ISIS chose to slaughter, and felt amongst other things, political worries for what would come next, I yearned for many things. I wanted to have an expression of solidarity with those who lost their lives, their families and those who just felt the pain of the meaning of Friday night in Paris. I wanted to commemorate all of those who were unknown to me and to whom up until Friday were living their ordinary lives. I wanted to feel a little vicarious pain, imagine and connect with the loss, from all sorts of personal angles.

With the friends in Montpellier, amidst our ‘catching-up’, we shared on many aspects of the human side of processing. Sunday afternoon, when it was so beautifully blue skied, sunny and warm, I went for a walk, sat in the Parc de Peyrou and falling into a sublime moment of peace, felt no nibbling of guilt. Coming together as friends, as a group, as societies, to feel and to make gestures confirming our humanity is part of the meaning-making in the short term, I am sure. We Parisiens might do well to take our time here. Attempts to make more absolute meaning of Friday, November 13 in Paris, in what is the long, ideological war of attrition between opposite sides of the war on/of terrorism, (where civilian casualty and trauma is bountiful), might end up choosing anger and fear as the basis for a response…not that anger and fear are not understandable and rightful responses just now. So here then is my immediate decision to make meaning of weekend events over the longer term – I hope to be a ‘present’ force of humanity-confirming senses in the midst of crazy violence.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Counselling in the Outdoors

Posted by: Jennifer Morrison on November 9, 2015 1:30 pm

playgroundThis will be a short and to the point blog. I have been recently asked by my schools to work with students outside during lunch hours as a way of interacting with those students who may not be candidates for my services, but could still use a positive role model in an unstructured environment. I was apprehensive of this at first as I felt that my time would be better applied doing group work with students. Two days outside and I already find myself reaping the benefits of the all-student interactions. I do miss eating and chatting with my colleagues but I have students coming up to me to chat, walk around, hang out and ask for advice. What a great unobtrusive and informal way of getting work done. I was stuck with this idea that we work in our offices, one on one or small groups, doing lesson plans and talking to teachers about ways to help children. All that is great and I am very comfortable with that, but perhaps it is time for me to see and try other ways to counsel students.

I admit that change is not an easy thing for me and I do tend to get anxious when expectations of me change. However, change can be a very good thing and in this case it has given me the opportunity to look at my job in a different way. School counsellors are moving away from the ‘office’ and into the classrooms and playgrounds. This is a good thing and I plan to do my best to embrace it. I know there will be times when I will want to stay inside on the cold winter days, huddled in the staff room with my fellow teachers. When these thoughts creep up I will have to remember that the benefits of working with students in their own space while at the same time getting fresh air and shaking out my own cobwebs is well worth the 30 minute change in my schedule.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Starting Anew

Posted by: Jennifer Morrison on September 4, 2015 12:15 pm

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I have very recently began a new position as a guidance counsellor in three schools, all of which have never had a guidance counsellor before. Although all schools are extremely grateful to have me, there are still some challenges surrounding the creation of a brand new position. Where are they going to locate me, will there be a private space, private phone line, filing cabinet to store confidential files, a space that is suitable for counselling? How will staff, parents and students react to this new role? Some of this is out of my control and I must live with that. However, there is still a lot I can do to make this an easier transition for everyone.

At this point in the game I am simply trying to allow students and staff to see me in the school. I am walking around before school, talking to students, going into the staff room to meet teachers. Overall, I want them to know that I am here. Now is not the time to come into their classrooms and start pulling out students. They have only been back to class for two days and I am unfamiliar to everyone. I feel that staff must first get to know me and what it is I do, before they will be willing to send their students to see me. I think that is reasonable. I feel it will be a while before they are comfortable enough to send students my way, and that is OK. Continue reading →




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Practical Considerations of Relational Work With Adolescents

Posted by: Barry D'Souza on July 17, 2015 2:48 pm

For those who work relationally, that is, for those who employ in therapy sessions, their experience of the client and the ‘work’ together, sharing personal details or stories is something you do from time to time, whether it is elicited or not.   Modeled early on during the first number of sessions, as part of how they ‘sit’ and are present with clients, the therapist’s disclosures may be said to help create the safe and collaborative ‘third space’ of therapy. But, what about when the client is an adolescent? What about when three sessions into the work, the young client exhibits great pride for the kinds of manipulations they successfully ‘use’ with their parents, making you wonder briefly if they might employ this art with you. When the subject matter turns to illicit drugs and the adolescent’s use of them and they enquire as to whether you (who for them at the moment is an adult, a therapist, and someone he/she is considering trusting) use them, the therapist’s disclosure in this instance speaks to issues of the therapist’s trust of the client, interest in authenticity and ultimately an unspoken equality in honesty in portraying personal experience.

Answering truthfully to a question that comes out of the natural flow of the exchange can mean a ‘powering down’ before the youth can make the therapist-client relationship more human. Feelings of being exposed to someone younger might arise making you feel uncomfortable. Knowing yourself and what is the source of this discomfort seems important. Telling a lie, even when the likelihood of the youth ever knowing different might undermine the authenticity of the emerging connection from the therapist’s perspective. If this tricky moment were later in the work with the client, it’d be a question of maintenance of the connection.

people-438827_640 Continue reading →




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Managing Change and Transition from an Academic Career Counselling Perspective

Posted by: Stephanie Burley on July 15, 2015 2:12 pm

Change is inescapable in life. It follows us wherever we go, and at each stage of our lives. Some of us are better suited to manage change than others, and some even thrive in times of transition. But for others, change can be a source of anxiety, stress, and discomfort. Sometimes we see change coming, and can brace ourselves for the fall out, or prepare ourselves so things can transition more smoothly. Other times it is unexpected or thrust upon us with little to no warning, and can leave us completely lost and disoriented.

startup-594091_640Students, no matter their level of study – whether they be undergraduates or post-docs – are under a great deal of stress and pressure. How can I as a career counsellor provide support and strategies to these students to help them manage the multitude of changes that will be thrown at them throughout their academic lives and beyond?

With the academic labour market such that it is right now, I am seeing an influx of clients who are transitioning out of careers quite unexpectedly. Many of the graduate students and post-doctoral fellows that arrive in my office, started out on their academic path with a certain goal in mind. They were going to be professors. They would contribute to an existing body of research and literature on their topic of specialization, and they would mentor, coach and teach junior academics to follow in their footsteps. The Canadian academic labour market has become increasingly saturated with PhD qualified academics, but vacancies for tenure track positions are becoming scarce. There are a slew of reasons as to why this is happening, and sometimes I will share these with the student, but that’s not really of importance at this stage. Providing an explanation as to why the labour market is how it is doesn’t do much to ameliorate the situation for the individual faced with abruptly changing the course of their career and life trajectory. Instead, I focus my energy on the individual in front of me, and the situation they are experiencing. How can I support this individual to cope with this transition, and develop skills that will hopefully allow them to navigate future transitions? Often I incorporate into my counselling practice the 4 S’s of Transition Theory as discussed by Goodman, Schlossberg and Anderson from their work titled “Counseling Adults in Transition (2006). I use this model to help guide the questions I ask and the direction that our conversation takes. Continue reading →




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Media and Parents in the Post-Secondary Decision-Making Process

Posted by: Mike Peirce on July 11, 2015 2:50 pm
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stanford-63689_640While many students would hate to admit it, their parents often play a key role in their post-secondary decision-making. They often finance the education, may have expectations based on their own experiences, or simply be there to support their child during a stressful decision-making process. After all, choosing a university is often the first major decision which has a long term impact on her or his life’s journey. When I counsel students making their decisions, I try to ensure that the parents are included in the process in a supportive role. In order to do so, I spend a great deal of time dispelling myths, helping them to understand current post-secondary realities and educating them about where they might find reliable information regarding their child’s choices. I do find much of the conversation is reminding parents that all they read or hear in the media is not factual nor reliable. I recently heard a TV financial celebrity talking on a highly respected talk show state a number of “facts” about university admissions which were so far off the mark, I cringed. Part of the problem is that much of the other advice he gave was valid. How does a parent discover what is valid and what is not? Another pet peeve of mine is the annual university rankings which are published by popular media magazines and newspapers. These are often based on criteria which have no influence of the individual student’s experience. How does one combat this? I have found that my most successful strategy is to educate the parents about resources which do provide reliable and valid information which is useful in supporting their child’s decision. Some like the University Canada (www.universitystudy.ca), the Common University Data from the Council of Ontario Universities (http://cou.on.ca/numbers/cudo) and eInfo (http://electronicinfo.ca) websites I have mentioned in earlier blogs. I recently read an article reviewing Major Maps, a new resource from Queen’s University Career Services (careers.queensu.ca/students/wondering-about-career-options/major-maps-2015). This is a truly valuable resource helping students (and especially parents) to understand the possible directions a student might take when completing a degree which is not specifically career focused. The maps offer more than a simple list of potential career paths, they also offer suggestions about how a student might get involved beyond the classroom to better prepare for the job market upon graduation. Contrary to the media, there continue to be remarkable opportunities for graduates in all university disciplines. Parents, who are worried about the employment opportunities upon graduation, need to see this type of resource so they can support the son or daughter who has a fascination in an area where career opportunities are not quite as obvious.

For a list of many of the web resources I like to use, visit my website at www.PeirceEducational.com/Links.html.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Let Me Do My Job and I Will Let You Do Yours

Posted by: Jennifer Morrison on July 8, 2015 12:00 pm
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They are there, all around us, colleagues who do not believe in your profession or your methods of delivery. They have that “get over it and move on” mentality, or “you are too young to have problems” thought process and even “school is for learning not your problems” mindset. In education we see it all the time. Staff who feel they are there to TEACH and students are there to LEARN and nothing should get in the way. Emotional problems need to be left home and not taken into the classroom, as if emotions were something you can turn on and off like a water tap. I think a lot of us have experienced this type of person at some point.

sign-429419_640 copySo, what do we do about it? How do we explain the importance of our job and how do we go about explaining how and why life situations effect our everyday functioning? From one day to the next I could have a variety of students stop by just to let something off their chest. A relative is sick, a parent lost a job, friendships fall apart, relationships end. Students are crying, panicking, worrying and getting angry and this is a normal part of life. Yes, I think sometimes they just need a place to go and talk for a few minutes, get some suggestions, vent a little. I also believe one’s ability to cope with life events will determine how they are able to handle situations, whether in or out of school. Either way, we all need to be there in a supportive manner.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

How Do You Know You’re Awesome???

Posted by: Bhavna Verma on June 16, 2015 8:54 am
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quality-787673_640When we know we’re on our “A” game, we totally feel awesome! When a client has their ‘lightbulb’ moment, due to our reframing- we feel awesome! When we advocate on a client’s behalf and they are granted their much deserved rights- we feel awesome! The list continues. But, the question is; what defines awesomeness? Jeff Boss wrote ’14 Signs You’re On The Path To Awesomeness’ for Forbes. I will focus on the areas that resonated with me, however, the link will be provided as well for you to review. The first one that I really gravitated towards was ‘When life curveballs are thrown at you, you take a swing’. For me, this indicates that you are not concerned with how you may be perceived in the eyes of others; you will take that swing no matter what! Which, in our field of work, this means trying new therapeutic approaches and becoming creative in style. The client may comment that the idea is silly, but without trying, you would never know if it worked! Another sign that I felt was important was ‘Top performers are willing to be wrong’. There is no weakness in accepting that you are wrong, so long as you are willing to learn and find out the correct answer. We’re not perfect, and we won’t have all the answers. So why not just let our clients know that we don’t know? Again, so long as we express that we will find out! The third and final sign of awesomeness that struck me was, ‘Top performers love uncertainty’. Why this particular sign resonated with me was because I am not a fortune teller. I can’t possibly know what concern or state of mind a client will walk into my office with. Therefore, why have a plan? By accepting that there are uncertainties, we are better therapists. Why? Because, again, no situation is perfect! And, personally, I enjoy the unknown. It keeps me on my toes and I welcome the challenge. There are 11 other signs of awesomeness that Jeff has on his list. Have a look, and see which resonates with you. These signs are great reminders for when we are feeling burnt out, tired, and fatigued. They remind us that we have the tools to not only support our clients, but also maintain our own self-care. If we have mini pep talks before each session, with a simple, “You are awesome”, the session will go extremely well.

 

 

Reference: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffboss/2014/07/26/14-signs-youre-on-the-path-to-awesomeness/




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

A New Online Support Group

Posted by: Farah Lodi on June 12, 2015 2:59 pm
17 Replies

My last post was about the importance of emotional support, especially for those who leave their country of origin (http://www.ccpa-accp.ca/blog/?p=4188). Usually family and close friends are the first people we lean on or turn to for advice. Anxiety and depression can be soothed by talking to loved ones, but when people have geographic distance from their support networks, life problems can be hard to manage and anxiety and depression can spiral.

To help people who have no help, I’ve created a new online support website: Supportseekers.info. This is an interactive forum where members can post any mental or emotional health problem, and get feedback from other members who may have faced a similar situation. Maybe you’ve been struggling with a situation for some time, and need advice, encouragement or clarity? Maybe you are stressed and overwhelmed? This website is especially useful for people who lack an emotional support network. There are two separate forums, one for adolescents and ansupportseekerother for adults. Sometimes youngsters respond better to their peers, and of course all members use anonymous user- ids. The most useful part is that each day a moderator who is a professional psychologist will go online and offer guidance to each poster – so in effect it’s free counselling therapy. The psychologist moderators are all trained in cross-cultural sensitivity with a solution-focused CBT approach. So no matter what your ethnicity or background, you will get balanced feedback from a non-judgmental professional (as well as from other members who may have life-experience to share). In addition there’s a “support library” which will give members the latest information on mental health awareness issues.

This community service doesn’t replace face-to-face therapy, and it’s not a forum for crisis situations, but it’s an option for those out there who (for whatever reason) don’t have access to emotional support. It’s completely free. All you have to do is join. I invite everyone who reads this, to log onto supportseekers.info, and become a member. You can post your problem anonymously and get same-day advice from your peers, as well as a free professional opinion. And you can help another member by offering your support. Who doesn’t need a bit of emotional help and support these days?




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Who Needs Me and Who is Trying to Get Out of Class?

Posted by: Jennifer Morrison on June 11, 2015 8:17 am
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I have been a counsellor in elementary, middle and high school for 15 years now. Over those years I have dealt with a lot of students who truly needed my help. They come in with their hearts on their sleeves looking for ways to heal a wound that most people do not even see. I am glad to help these students not because it is my job but because it is what I love to do. It feels good to know that I have helped another person who may have otherwise suffered the pain of family chaos, abuse, neglect, anxiety, depression, etc.

Some students will see me for a few days until the problem lessens (issue with friends, anxiety over a test) and others will see me for longer periods of time (major family issues, personal difficulties). Sometimes you can get an idea of how often or how long you will see a student based on the issue and how they are able to cope. Some students are very resilient and learn how to pick up the pieces and move on quickly. Others need more time to work through issues, or perhaps they have no other means of support and I become the only person who they are comfortable talking to. I am here for all of my students, whether the problem is big or small.
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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA