Tag Archives: modeling self-care

Managing Teenagers’ Stress

Posted by: Lakawthra Cox, M.A., MAPC, LPC, NCC, CCC on September 9, 2019 3:00 pm

I have seen a number of teens who are adjusting to the demands and pressures of their last year of high school as they transition into college. In particular, American teens feel a tremendous pressure during this phase of life. Parents should be aware of these pressures and seek to assist their adolescent obtain balance, a healthy lifestyle, and good coping skills. Although I could provide my professional thoughts, I wanted to share some insights from teenagers who have experienced this phase of life stress firsthand.

As a 17-year-old teen who is about to enter my senior (4th) year of high school, I find that transitioning into adult life is stressful. I take a college class over the summer vacation which entails writing papers, researching, and reading a lot of material. My current college class has 12 required books. I am volunteering at a hospital to gain experience, preparing to submit my college applications, and attending practices for an All Star Cheer Team, to say the least. Here is how I manage my stress:

  • I listen to my favorite music. People suggest listening to “relaxing” music; my favorite music isn’t always relaxing music but that type is not for everyone. Listen to what you prefer, as long as your choice of music relaxes you. Another way I de-stress is by taking a shower. I also enjoy taking a 30-minute nap. Sometimes a nap as short as 15-20 minutes works as well.
  • If none of those approaches work, I try calling a good friend. Talking helps me relieve stress. I feel better after Face Timing (video conferencing) or after a long phone call with a friend. I feel more relaxed/distressed and ready to take on the world. Last, exercising or being active is another way to de-stress. Considering taking on a sport either in school or as an extracurricular activity. (Lathanise Cox-Moscatello, July 2019)

Life is both stressful and challenging, at times. I am 14 years old and going into my junior (3rd) year of high school. I am two grades ahead for my age and still take challenging classes like pre-AP Chemistry. As both an artist, and a soccer manager for our school team, I am very busy. I have attended both science and art camps like this over most summers. I also volunteer at a local hospital over the summer to gain experience. The following is what I recommend to maintain a healthy lifestyle (Ramona Cox-Moscatello, July 2019):

  1. Do not allow your stress to build up, because you may blow up or overreact to a situation.
  2. Find what works for you. Take some time to figure out [what you like].
  3. Cold showers wake you up and warm showers help to relax your muscles.
  4. If you can’t find anything that works, ask your parents about seeing a mental health professional.

I concur with their recommendations. Additionally, taking on a hobby such as gardening, playing an instrument, or art might be useful. Exercising is also important in our overall health. In a Vancouver study, older adults executive brain functioning increased between 11%-13% when the participants received resistance exercise training (Liu-Ambrose et al., 2010). Exercising can allow us to accomplish tasks better. In fact, additional studies have demonstrated that participants performed better over a range of cognitive tasks, when they exhibited greater muscular strength (Boyle et al. 2009; Narazaki et al. 2014). Choose an approach for managing your stress that is pro social, in which you can find balance, stay healthy, and obtain good coping skills for better managed teen aged stress.

Lakawthra Cox, MA, MAPC, LPC, NCC, CCC
Lathanise Cox-Moscatello, Contributor
Ramona Cox-Moscatello, Contributor

References
Boyle PA, Buchman AS, Wilson RS, et al (2009). Association of muscle strength with the risk of Alzheimer disease and rate of cognitive decline in community dwelling older persons. Arch Neurol 66(11):1339-1344, 2009 19901164. In Noordsy, D. L., editor. (2019) Lifestyle psychiatry. American Psychiatric Association. Washington, DC.
Liu-Ambrose T. Nagamatsu LS, Graf P, et al: Resistance training and executive functions: a 12-month randomized controlled trial. Arch Intern Med 170-178, 2010 20101012. In Noordsy, D. L., editor. (2019) Lifestyle psychiatry. American Psychiatric Association. Washington, DC.
Narazaki K, Matsuo E, Honda T, et al: Physical fitness measures as potential markers of low cognitive problems. J Sports Sci Med. 13 (3): 590-596, 2014 25177186. In Noordsy, D. L., editor. (2019). Lifestyle psychiatry. American Psychiatric Association. Washington, DC.



*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Life’s a Masquerade

Posted by: Lakawthra Cox, M.A., MAPC, LPC, NCC, CCC on March 15, 2019 8:16 am

My sister had a masquerade party for her 30th birthday. The guests were dressed like 17th century patrons in fancy ball clothes, and even her cake had a vertical floating gold masquerade ball mask. Children, adults, and grandparents attended her authentically themed party, hosted in a large party hall. Can you imagine waltzing across a ballroom floor in your fancy clothes, while you escape in the music and getting to enjoy the company of other guests through great conversation, warmth, and laughter? The hors d’oeuvres are simply smashing. Generally, people report friendships or close relationships as the most valuable and meaningful part of life (Klinger, 1997; Bibby, 2001). What better way to spend time than in a masquerade party with good friends and family.

I never considered having a special party for my 30th birthday, or any other birthday for that matter. I am lucky to care to attend my own graduations, as I skipped my high school and my first master degree graduation. My approach to skipping out on celebrations is far from healthy. Skipping out leads to not only isolating yourself, but also isolating other people in your life. When my children view old videos of my family, they always ask my mother or sisters, “Where was my mom?” I was usually engaged in my own individual activities somewhere else in the house. My absence from family activities in my adolescence has apparently robbed my children, a generation later, of any meaningful insight about my life growing up. Avoid isolating yourself, as isolation can lead to loneliness among other negative emotional consequences. Remember to celebrate life, yourself, and your accomplishments – even the small ones.

Now, I take time out to smell the roses, so to speak, and you should do the same. Life is a masquerade but don’t hide behind your masks – have a ball. If you do, your happiness will keep you healthier.

References
Bibby, R.W. (2001). Canada’s Teens, Today, Yesterday and Tomorrow. Toronto: Starddart.
Klinger, D.A. (1997). Negotiating order in patrol work: an ecological theory of police response to Deviance. Criminology 35(2):277–306.



*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Gymnastics

Posted by: Lakawthra Cox, M.A., MAPC, LPC, NCC, CCC on February 11, 2019 10:43 am

Early one year, my girls and I visited a University of Oklahoma’s women gymnastic meet. Upon watching the meet, my young girls were able to get posters and t-shirts signed by the team members. A day later, when her grandpa asked Lenay, one of the girls, about her experience at the meet, she told Grandpa, “We went to the Olympics.”

Some experiences are so wonderful, the experience leaves you feeling like some greater experience occurred. Sometimes accomplishing the one goal that you planned for the year or for many years back, once completed, makes you feels as if you climbed mountain Kilimanjaro. While you feel like you have climbed mountain Kilimanjaro, you may have only played that violin piece well, lost weight, or learned to dance the Tango. It does not matter how insignificant your goal is to others, if it is important to you, make your goals come true. Capture that feeling of accomplishment and use that feeling to motivate you to achieve your next goal. Goals may consist of growing a garden, increasing business and income, and improving an interpersonal relationship.

Since my girls had been in gymnastics for a couple of years, it was appropriate to have them understand why gymnastics is useful. I had the girls watch the pretrial videos of the Olympic 2008 tryouts. My thoughts are that this video will show them what they are aiming to accomplish with each gym activity. If the girls understood the results, they could work to become more efficient in gymnastics. One gym class, after having watched the pretrial videos a week earlier, Lenay said, “Mommy, I am tired of gymnastics,” as she walks off the gym floor. “I do not want to go to the Olympics.” She sat down in protest of finishing her gymnastic class.

You may also feel like not wanting to play in the Olympics or achieve your own set of goals after becoming tired or weary while working toward your goals. Having unrealistic goals contributes to your stress of becoming tired or weary (Weiten & Lloyd, 2006). My goal for Lenay is not necessarily for her to try out for the Olympics, because at four years old she has plenty of time to work toward Olympic, high school, and college tryouts for cheer leading or gymnastics, or none of the above. While I am careful not to impose too much on Lenay, I am aware that stress is largely self- imposed (Epstein & Katz, 1992). Keep your goals realistic and avoid imposing too much stress.

References
Epstein & Katz. (1992). In Weiten & Lloyd. (2006). Psychology applied to modern life: Adjustment in the 21st century. Belmont, CA: Thomson Wadsworth.
Weiten, W. & Lloyd, M.A. (2006). Psychology applied to modern life: Adjustment in the 21st century (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Thomson /Wadsworth.



*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Self-Care – When it’s Hard Walking the Walk…

Posted by: Siri Brown on February 8, 2012 11:18 am

I ended up in the ER last week, stitches to my right (dominant) hand, resulting from a losing battle with a broken glass.  Exiting the hospital at 11:30pm, I was faced with a decision – to go, or not to go, to work the next day?  Self-care I can trumpet to my clients, but oh-how-complicated it becomes as I face my own choices.  This blog entry is about my own journey navigating an acceptable balance between my professional and personal responsibilities.    I hope that it might help “normalize” this challenge for other clinicians, dedicated, as I am, to the clients we serve.

Facts:   I have 3 stitches in my hand.  I am not in any amount of inordinate pain as a result.  I have almost 7hrs of sleep available to me.  I have a fairly full schedule tomorrow including clients without telephones or other means of contact.   It is only one more day of work before the weekend.   I  just spent two plus hours in the hospital (second one I visited – first one, the ER was closed).  It would help to keep the wound dry and immobilized for at least 24hrs.  I am mad at myself for what I consider a stupid, unnecessary injury.   What to do?

Continue reading




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA