Tag Archives: individuals

Staying True Unto Oneself

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on August 14, 2013 3:10 pm

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
~ Steve Jobs

What does it mean to “stay true unto oneself?”  Shakespeare spoke of this immortal question, others have reformatted and repackaged the idea, but still many remain uncertain of the essential meaning of being true unto oneself. 

What is the importance of staying true unto oneself? However you want to package the basic premise is:  be authentic in all that you do.  Do not waver from the nature of your true person.  Whoever you are, allow that person to shine through. 


Authentic people are undisputedly genuine.  Genuine people do not rely on the approval or acceptance of others, rather they diligently seek to be themselves.  They deny the ownership of critical words or deeds that others lay at their feet.  Genuine people are not perfect, but strive for improvement on a daily and frequent basis.  They are also capable of accepting positively constructive criticism, while denying the negative intentions, deeds, actions, or criticisms that others may choose to offer.   An authentic person is a sincere person relying upon their inner being for acceptance and approval.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

What is Your Source of Inspiration?

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on June 11, 2013 4:42 pm

“The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”
 ~ Stephen Hawking

What is your source inspiration? What or who inspires you to live and prove productive?  Is your source of inspiration a person, a place or thing?  If so, what is that source of inspiration?  Are you inspired by a spiritual being or religious ideological viewpoint?  Is your inspiration your soulmate or an important friend?

Why is it important to be inspired? Whether you are inspired by another individual or something within your own person; inspiration is the motivator within life. Inspiration is the catalyst for prodding you forward.  What is the importance of inspiration?  If we are inspired, we will inspire those around us.  Inspiration beseeches inspiration.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Personal Responsibility

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on May 23, 2013 4:28 pm

“Personal responsibility is the willingness to completely accept choices that we have made throughout our lives.”
                                                                                    ~ Asa Don Brown, Waiting to Live

Personal responsibility is the ability and willingness to accept our past, whether good or bad as a marker within our history.  It is also recognizing that our history does not have to define us or be the determining factor of our lives.


Responsibility is not identifying with our past failures or successes.  Nor is it allowing others to place the past upon our person.  Responsibility cannot be the acceptance of other’s failures or successes.  We may have all had a moment in time, whereby we slough off personal responsibility, transfer personal responsibility or blame others for our failures or the successes in our lives.   Personal responsibility is not the denial of our successes or of our failures, rather it is the willingness to take ownership of our personal history.  

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Benefits of Friendship on a Relationship

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on May 6, 2013 1:47 pm

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”    ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The key to a healthy relationship is the purposeful development of a healthy friendship.  Couples who have achieved the merits of friendship, have strived to develop their relationship beyond the confines the marriage. 

“Excluding some very good family relationships, the only other close adult relationships we have besides marriage are with our long-term friends.  What is extremely interesting about these two affiliations is that marriage is the least successful adult relationship, whereas long-term friendships are by far the most successful.” (Glasser & Glasser, 2000, p. 17)

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA


Posted by: Asa Don Brown on April 15, 2013 3:36 pm

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.”
                                                                                     ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness is good, forgiveness is necessary, forgiveness stimulates the positive perspectives of the mind.  When we retain hate, anger, displeasure, or hostility towards another; we have allowed the negative to absorb into our mind, body, and spirit.  It is forgiveness that empty’s the soul, mind, and the body of the filth that we carry. 

Forgiveness allows the pathways of our minds to flow smoothly.  We are blocking the pathways of nutrition, healthy, and happiness.  Even if, we have the “right” to hold resentment towards another; any negative thought, deed, action or reaction only affects our person.  When we hold contempt for another person, we are essentially continuing the harm that was done by another. 


“What we don’t recognize is that holding onto resentment is like holding onto your breath.  You’ll soon start to suffocate.”  Deepak Chopra

The importance of forgiveness is that it reminds us that we can feel better, be better, and achieve more.  Forgiveness’s importance is unmistakable; real forgiveness can alter your perceptions and worldview.  If your worldview and perceptions have been based on the negative, then forgiveness refocuses your mindset onto the positive perspectives of life.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Toxic Relationships

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on March 25, 2013 1:04 pm

A toxic relationship is any relationship that is unfavorable to you or others.  The foundations of any relationship, healthy or not, are most commonly established upon mutual admiration and respect, but can in time become remarkably unhealthy.  It is the poisonous atmosphere of the relationship that distinguishes a merely bad or troublesome relationship from a toxic relationship.   Toxic relationships are interfering with those involved from living a productive and healthy life. 

Toxic relationships can be caused by two polar opposite personality types.  The toxicity is caused by the incompatibility of the persons involved in the relationship.  In some cases, there is no one necessarily to blame for the toxicity, rather the toxicity is caused by the inability to commune and establish healthy boundaries, conversations, and communication. 

Not all toxic relationships are caused by two unhealthy people.  It does not always take two to tango. In some cases, unhealthy individuals target and prey upon others for their own personal needs and gratification.  It is a slanted desire for a relationship.  The individual who is preying is seeking to emotionally and psychologically dehydrate others, removing whatever is possible for their own greedy benefits.  Such individuals have a manipulative style, and will frequently triangulate and maneuver their way into any relationship that they perceive as beneficial. 

People who are toxic are rarely aware of their own toxicity.  Toxic personalities have an unawareness of their own personality type.  They are too self-absorbed and preoccupied with their own emotions, interests, needs, and goals to be aware of the needs, goals, interests and emotions of others. 

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Effects of Pornography

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on March 7, 2013 4:23 pm

The effects of porn addiction are undeniable.  Those who suffer from such an addiction, frequently struggle with a desire to part from their addictive issue.  The nature of porn addiction infiltrates the mind by gradually permeating the very essence of the individual.  The individual becomes so entangled by the web of such an addiction, that every waking moment is about fulfilling the addiction.  In many cases porn addicts frequently feel that the pornography has so entrenched their mind, that they begin carrying on a surreptitious like affair with their pornographic habit.  


There is no absolute cause for porn addiction.  Porn addiction can occur because of a variety of issues.  A child who runs across his father’s collection of pornography, may develop a habitual need for pornography.  A man or woman whose partner denies them continuously, their sexual desires or advancements, may find pornography as a comfortable replacement.   

“A 50-year old married physician views internet pornography for hours at home, masturbating five to seven times a day, then begins surfing porn sites at the office… A woman spends four to six hours a day in internet chat rooms and having cybersex… A married couple view pornographic movies together as part of their loving relationship, but the husband starts spending more time watching…” (SFGate, 2011, Online) 

There is no one single causation for porn or sexual addictions, rather there a multiple number of causations that could be the catalyst for such sexual deviance.  Pornographic and sexual addictions frequently stem from childhood related abuses, sexual indiscretions, psychological and psychiatric disorders, familial violence and abuse, relationship violence and abuse, traumas incurred in childhood or as an adult, an opportunity for sexual or pornographic imagery, relationship problems with a spouse, or compulsive needs.  

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Increasing Intimacy Within Our Relationships

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on February 15, 2013 3:45 pm

When we hear the word intimacy, all sorts of images maybe conjured up in our minds.  The word intimacy may stimulate a visual image of sexual encounters, or it may project an idea of deeply fostered relationships, but the truth is, intimacy can occur on the most primitive of levels.  Yet, the types of intimacy vary depending upon the depths of the relationship in question.


Intimacy is the ability to share an emotional and physical connection with another.  Such connections can occur between couples, friends, families, and within a variety of relationships.  Intimacy involves a level of cohesion that unites the very essence of our person.  It is a connection that can occur on the very basic of human emotions, conditions, and attractiveness.  

Intimacy occurs when we have a bond between ourselves and another person.  Intimacy does not have to occur on a sexual level alone, it can occur between persons who are simply seeking to be connected.  We can be intimate through our verbal and nonverbal gestures, facial expressions, touch, and through the words we choose to use. 

Again, it is important to recognize that it can occur beyond a couple’s relationship, it can occur through friendships, familial relationships and through a variety of close knit avenues and environments. 

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Healthy Communication

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on January 23, 2013 4:23 pm

Relationships are an art form created by two individuals who have a similar or complimentary vision, passion, and ambition.  Rarely has a relationship developed without its growth pains.  Similar to the development of the human body; a relationship is affected by the nurturing it receives.  If a relationship lacks in nutrition it will not have a healthy development. Unhealthy relationships are most commonly lacking in the most essential of ingredient: healthy communication. 

What is communication? It is the ability to convey or share emotions, feelings, sentiments, and desires.  Communication can be sent or received through verbal or nonverbal cues.  Healthy communication is the ability to communicate without offering hateful or undesirable responses.  While not all communication will be received with a welcoming spirit; healthy communication acknowledges that we have a right to “agree to disagree”.  

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA


Posted by: Asa Don Brown on January 14, 2013 2:27 pm

Clinicians rarely have couples enter their offices proclaiming an overwhelming fondness, admiration, and unconditional love for one another  “In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50.  Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health.  They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems.” (APA, Online, 2012)

Why are healthy marriages good? If you are in a healthy marriage, you are experiencing positive feedback, unconditional acceptance, unconditional love, unconditional approval, and the admiration of another.  You are benefiting from the positivity of that relationship.

In unhealthy marriages, you may be experiencing marital strife, conflicts, and continuous disagreements. While unhealthy marriages are not irreparable, they maybe on pathways of irreversible damage.  It is vitally important that if someone has entered an unhealthy stage in their marriage that they seek professional help to resolve their relationship conflicts.

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA