Tag Archives: fear

Adult Bullying: The Aftermath

Posted by: Jonathan Delisle on May 29, 2015 8:19 am
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Living under the influence of a bully is no walk in the park, as we’ve seen in my last post. To add insult to injury, the battle doesn’t end with the realization of what’s happening or the desire to put an end to the abusive influence. There are consequences to deal with in the aftermath of the abuse. In her book Le harcèlement moral: la violence perverse au quotidien, Mrs. Hirigoyen lists four steps to the aftermath of bullying.

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Shock: There is a crucial turning point in abusive relationships when the victim realizes what the bully was doing all this time. While being the first step towards liberation, that moment of enlightenment hits the victim like a tidal wave. From this point on, the victim relives every bullying moment in his/her mind, seeing for the first time the extent of the abusive nature of the relationship. This experience can be quite traumatizing. With it comes turbulence of emotions: hurt, helplessness, humiliation, and eventually anger when the shock wears off. Continue reading →




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Adult Bullying: Under the Bully’s Influence

Posted by: Jonathan Delisle on May 13, 2015 12:47 pm
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This blog post on bullying has to do with the short-term effects that bullying has on the victims while under the bully’s influence.  The points I will be explaining are taken from Marie-France Hirigoyen’s book “Le harcèlement moral: la violence perverse au quotidien”.  Although the points are mainly hers, I will be explaining them in my own words. The following points are tell-tale signs that we, counsellors, may have a victim of bullying sitting in front of us.

Standing Down: Victims of bullying generally stand down out of fear of undesired consequences: retaliation, break up, guilt-trip, humiliation, loss, etc.  The bully will use this fear as leverage, thus mentally paralyzing his victim.

Confusion:  Most of the bullying is passive-aggressive and ambiguous at the onset, which leaves room to doubt the aggressive nature of the actions committed or the woalone ballrds spoken.  As a result of the confusion, it is not uncommon over time for the individual to experience poor concentration, frequent loss of train of thought, delayed reactions, reduced ability to perform complex intellectual activities, etc.

Self-doubt:  The bully sees to it that the victim think that he is guilty about what happens and yet feel powerless to do anything about it.  Self-doubt in the face of the violence suffered creates paralyzing confusion. As the victim becomes defenseless, he also becomes the scapegoat upon whom the aggressor puts all of his own insecurities, faults, flaws, etc…
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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The Psychology of Halloween

Posted by: Asa Don Brown on October 31, 2012 3:58 pm
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“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
                                                                                                       ~ Doug Coupland

The Psychology of Halloween has long been debated because of the terror associated with the holiday.  Halloween has indeed a twofold agenda:  freighting and terrorizing, as well as, playful and fantasy. 

THE FEARS ASSOCIATED WITH HALLOWEEN

Halloween injects the greatest fears associated with humanity into our lives.  From Hollywood to Bollywood, you can view films associated with Halloween.  Halloween grabs hold of the internal frailty of our minds.  It perpetuates the unknown, the undetermined, and the mysteries sometimes involved with life.

Be cautious to moderate your child’s intake of “scary” movies and “scary” novels.  Children can find it difficult to differentiate between fantasy and reality. As parents, we should monitor every single source of conditioning that influence our children. 

While Halloween is known for instilling fear, it does not have to feed into our fears.  It can be a holiday that proves a source of fun, fantasy, and imagination.  For children, it is important to help  develop a healthy imagination filled with creativity and adventure. 

“Dr. Gene Beresin, Director of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Training, Massachusetts General …  Kids love Halloween, and it should not be denied… It is celebrated in schools, at parties, and is looked forward to all year. To deny this, would be a major deprivation, and could even reinforce that something so horrible is happening, that we need to change our ‘business as usual.’ …Halloween is viewed as a party, as a time to dress up, and most importantly, a way for kids to allay fears of ghosts, goblins and supernatural events. It is much akin to playing. We would not want our younger kids to stop playing, since they work out most of their fears through this means.” (ABCNews, 2012, Online)

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*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA