The first time I suffered from counsellor burnout, aka Compassion Fatigue, was at my first job at a residential treatment centre.  I was young, fresh, idealistic and ready to dive into the rewarding work of helping others.  After only about a year and a half, I was drinking regularly, smoking again after a hiatus of over a year and a half, and exercising compulsively (at least an hour and a half a day).  I was crying on my way home from work, and frustrated and ashamed of myself and my apparent lack of healthier “coping skills”.

I didn’t know what was going on – how come I was struggling so much?  Why was I feeling the need to escape from my feelings so compulsively?  Why was I so emotionally sensitive?  What had happened to the old me?  Despite my efforts at distracting myself, the cracks started to show – I have two distinct memories that helped me realize something was really wrong. 

The  first one was during a massage, when the massage therapist placed her hands on my shoulders and asked, “why are you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? “.  This prompted a waterfall of tears.  How did she know that was exactly how I was feeling?

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