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<\/a>I was completely unaware of the absolute beauty of life until I became a father.\u00a0 Fatherhood has opened my eyes beyond my own imagination.\u00a0 As a father, I have learned more about myself, life, and the meaning of life; simply by viewing the physical beings gifted unto me.\u00a0 Children are the window to our futures and a beacon of light in a sometimes dark world.<\/p>\nAs a father, I have learned to appreciate each moment that I am granted to spend with my children.\u00a0 Whether they are happy or sad, full of energy or laying down for a nap; I am amazed by the life that radiates out of their little bodies.<\/p>\n
THE GIFT<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cWith children the clock is reset.\u00a0 We forget what came before\u201d As a father, we need to actively listen to our children.\u00a0 Fathers who actively listen will be the recipients of an unbelievable education, going well beyond one\u2019s wildest of dreams.\u00a0 The gift of a child goes well beyond that most descriptive of words.\u00a0 Children are the essence of life.\u00a0 They are capable of proving resilient in the most troubling of times, and rebounding from the greatest of falls.\u00a0 They have an ability of bringing a smile on the gloomiest of faces.\u00a0\u00a0 It is awesome how the very life of a child is capable of resetting our thought patterns, our mindsets, and our very outlook upon the world.\u00a0 The gift of a child is capable of completely changing our worldview and perceptions of life.<\/p>\n ACTIVELY LISTEN<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cHaving a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.\u201d Active listening is an essential ingredient to understanding any relationship.\u00a0 Active listening is the ability, the skill, technique, or an inherent trait whereby, a person is purposefully and intentionally focusing on the communications being sent by another person or persons.\u00a0 An active listener not only listens and receives an intended message, but is capable of paraphrasing what messages he or she has received back to the communicator.\u00a0 An active listener recognizes that not all communication is verbally spoken, but is often communicated through verbal and nonverbal transmissions.\u00a0 It entails good physical posture, gestures, and purposeful eye contact.<\/p>\n As an active listener, you will align your body towards the intended recipient.\u00a0 You may lean towards the sender or receiver, maintain active eye contact, posture your body in an open form, and be relaxed while nonverbally communicating.\u00a0 Active Listening is also being capable of reflecting any verbal or nonverbal communication that is communicated.<\/p>\n As a parent, we must be purposeful in our active listening.\u00a0 An active listener is purposeful in his or her actions, reflections, and all forms of communications. Active listening shows that you care, have empathy, and are completely interested in another person.<\/p>\n \u201cIn addition, listening or speaking without being defensive helps to counter several destructive habits.\u00a0 (If you are a) non-defensive listener, chances are it will make the cycle of negativity much less likely… Letting your spouse know that you understand him or her is the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.\u201d (Gottman & Silver, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n ALLOWING THE CHANGE<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cWhen you’re feeling overwhelmed, make a deliberate effort to calm yourself.\u201d Avoiding responsibility will create barriers and build up walls of rejection.\u00a0 Always accept that with which you are responsible for, and never accept responsibility for someone else\u2019s mistakes.\u00a0 You are ultimately the master and commander of your life.\u00a0 Therefore be in charge and willing to accept the rights and wrongs that occur in your life.\u00a0 Accept both your own and your partner\u2019s strengths and weaknesses.<\/p>\n FOCUS ON THE GOOD OF THE CHILD<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cAlways focus on the front of windshield and not the review mirror.\u201d Children are not perfect vessels traveling through life, but within their own imperfections the beauty shines through.\u00a0 We ought not to look at the mistakes, mishaps, and challenges of our children, rather focus your minds on the magnificence of the individual developing.\u00a0\u00a0 Remember, all children, as well as all adults, are bound to make mistakes throughout their life.\u00a0 Children are creatures maturing into adulthood, thus we ought to help guide these beings towards becoming the best adults imaginable.\u00a0 As children, we susceptible to the good and the bad that our parents project.\u00a0 What are you projecting into the life of your child?<\/p>\n QUALITY AND QUANTITY TIME<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>\u201cWhere there is love, there is life\u201d <\/strong> As a clinician, I have a bit of a different take.\u00a0 Professionally, it is undoubtedly apparent that to achieve a \u201chealthy\u201d relationship requires a combination of the amount of time dispensed, plus the quality of the time being exerted.\u00a0\u00a0 I have heard countless tales about children feeling exacerbated, frustrated, challenged, and unfulfilled within their roles as a child.\u00a0 It is of the utmost importance that each member of the family feels important in the family nucleus.<\/p>\n When children, or family members, feel unimportant it is frequently linked to breach in communications.\u00a0 The most common elements are a lack of communication, neglect of the relationship and the lack of intimacy.\u00a0 All of these elements are encapsulated with the same essential feature; the type of time dispensed and quantity of time being dispensed to resolve problems or aid in the betterment of a relationship.<\/p>\n The typical complaint from my clients\/patients is an overall unsatisfactory or unacceptable environment in the home.\u00a0 People most commonly express a lack of cohesiveness in his or her relationships.\u00a0 They will express how their parent or partner is neglectful, lacking in compassion, and has an inability to commit to the relationship.\u00a0 Simply put, there is a lack of forming a united whole.<\/p>\n They will make statements such as:\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cmy parents choose to spend more time with their friends\u00a0 than they do with me.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI feel neglected, unimportant, and without merit.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cMy mother is so focused on her career that I feel like a fixture in her room of life.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cMy father insists that I be a pure reflection of him, but leads through an iron fist rather than a tender heart.\u201d \u201cI have never felt completely connected to my parents.\u201d<\/p>\n If your desire is to achieve a complete failure within a relationship, then be certain to neglect your child and you will achieve the ultimate failure.\u00a0 Relationships are like a fern, ferns need protection, good soil, sunlight, nutrients and ultimatum environmental conditions.\u00a0 Therefore, you must gently care and offer support, compassion, and protection to the life of your child.\u00a0 While every person and relationship may differ in its overall makeup, all relationships require active participation, commitment, and time.<\/p>\n BE CONSCIENTIOUS<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cConscientious people are apt to see their duty in that which is the most painful\u201d Have an attitude of diligence and a desire to be punctilious.\u00a0 Relationships occur through a directional role, thus we should be guiding in a way that inspires others to follow in our positive pathways.\u00a0 If you are acting in a conscientious way, then you will have a deep desire and heartfelt yearning to do that which is right.<\/p>\n PROVE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT \u201cThe greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.\u201d Parents should have a habit of active participation.\u00a0 Active participation empowers active communication, without such there is limited interaction.\u00a0 The particulars behind being active may vary depending upon the family.\u00a0 Nevertheless, being active implies that we are engaging, or ready to engage, in a specific pursuit.\u00a0\u00a0 I may be an active scholar with my family, while the next fellow is an active outdoorsman.\u00a0 Whatever the pursuit, be active and diligent to show care and conscientiousness when engaging your family.\u00a0 Likewise, be certain that your activity is engulfed with positive and constructive pursuits.\u00a0 Do not expect each of your family members to share in the same goals, but learn to share in the happiness of goals achieved by each member of your family.<\/p>\n ACTIVE SUGGESTIONS \u201cIf you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales.\u00a0 If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.\u201d Authors<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., N.C.C.M.<\/p>\n Website<\/strong>:\u00a0 http:\/\/www.asadonbrown.com<\/a><\/p>\n
\n~ Jhumpa Lahiri<\/p>\n
\n~ Bill Cosby<\/p>\n
\n~ John Gottman<\/p>\n
\n~ Colin Powell<\/p>\n
\n~Mahatma Gandhi<\/p>\n
\n~ George Elliot<\/p>\n
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\n~ Brian Tracy<\/p>\n
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\n~ Albert Einstein<\/p>\n\n