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<\/a>Today\u2019s culture is making it easier and easier to be a \u201cfather.\u201d\u00a0 While children continue to be neglected, research is showing that there is an incline in the number of fathers who are actively participating in the lives of children. Moreover, there has been a significant \u201c…increase in programs designed to promote involved and responsible fatherhood.\u201d (Perry, 2012,\u00a0 Online)<\/p>\nAs a father, I have discovered my lifelong calling is, \u201cfatherhood.\u201d\u00a0 Fatherhood is essentially the willingness to treat with protective care and in a nurturing manner.\u00a0 It is fatherhood that allows the male in the relationship to join together with his partner and become \u201cthe father\u201d.\u00a0 A father is more than having the ability to impregnate a women, rather a father is the person who provides support, care, and an unconditional environment.<\/p>\n
As men, we are not equipped to bear children, yet we are naturally designed to be fathers.\u00a0 It is recognizing and accepting the role of fatherhood, that enables a man to begin becoming a father.\u00a0 Our limitations, reservations, and fears of fatherhood, are frequently the uncertainties and insecurities associated with failure . What if I fail as a father?\u00a0 So what, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move forward.\u00a0 Do not hesitate or fear asking for advice.\u00a0\u00a0 Asking for advice is not an indication that you are weak, rather that you are strong in your willingness to ask for help.<\/p>\n
After all, fatherhood is the greatest education a man can ever receive.\u00a0 As a father, you not only have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, but about the world around you.\u00a0 A child\u2019s constant questioning and inquiry of life, offers a father an unique opportunity and the privilege for growth.<\/p>\n
ACTIVE LISTENING<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cIt is a wise father that knows his own child.\u201d As a father, we need to actively listen.\u00a0 Active listening is the ability, the skill, technique, or an inherent trait whereby, a person is purposefully and intentionally focusing on the communications being sent by another person or persons.\u00a0 An active listener not only listens and receives an intended message, but is capable of paraphrasing what messages he or she has received back to the communicator.\u00a0 An active listener recognizes that not all communication is verbally spoken, but is often communicated through verbal and nonverbal transmissions.\u00a0 It entails good physical posture, gestures, and purposeful eye contact.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As an active listener, you will align your body towards the intended recipient.\u00a0 You may lean towards the sender or receiver, maintain active eye contact, posture your body in an open form, and be relaxed while nonverbally communicating.\u00a0 Active Listening is also being capable of reflecting any verbal or nonverbal communication that is communicated.<\/p>\n As a father, an active listener is purposeful in his actions, reflections, and all forms of communications.<\/p>\n UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR CHILDREN\u2019S MOTHER<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>\u201cYou should express regularly to your wife and children your reverence and respect for her.\u00a0 Indeed, one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.\u201d As a clinician, I have met many fathers who have very little to no respect for the mothers of their children.\u00a0 Whether or not, you have remained with the mother of your children, it crucially important that you show an unwavering respect for her.\u00a0 While you may personally dislike or perhaps even have a deep disdain for her person; it remains vitally important that your children do not feel as though you have bitterness or an egregious hostility towards her.\u00a0\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Children often feel as though they are a mirror of the objectified person.\u00a0 Thus, they may get an impression that you also objectify them when they make an error or grave mistake.<\/p>\n QUALITY AND QUANTITY TIME<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>\u201cI love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring.\u00a0 It connects you to the world in a new way.\u201d <\/strong>\u201cRabbi Shmuley says children who are neglected by their parents\u2014despite their parents’ best intentions\u2014grow up to feel insignificant, insecure, unloved and\u2014more than anything else\u2014angry. To make children feel important, loved and safe, parents should be physically and emotionally available to their children for a few hours every day, which he calls \u2018quantity time.\u2019\u201d (Oprah, 2014, Online)<\/p>\n As a clinician, I have a bit of a different take.\u00a0 Professionally, I have discovered that it is both a combination of time, plus the quality of the time being exerted.\u00a0\u00a0 Therefore, it is a combination of the amount of time dispensed, as well as, the \u201cquality\u201d of the time being offered.\u00a0\u00a0 As a father, I could offer countless hours, but waste the time I intend on spending with my children watching\u00a0 television, sleeping, or on a project removing myself from my children.<\/p>\n FORGIVE AND FORGET, MOVING FORWARD<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father\u2019s protection.\u201d Forgiveness is key!\u00a0 Forgiveness is essential!\u00a0 Forgiveness is necessary!\u00a0 Forgiveness is freeing!<\/p>\n As fathers, practice a constant spirit of forgiveness.\u00a0 Forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.\u00a0 As a father, it is the purposeful act of removing whatever has occurred from your mind.\u00a0 When we forgive, we have scars to remind of us the wound, but a scar is only the mark left not the act or deed committed.\u00a0\u00a0 Forgiveness is capable of freeing your mind of the matter and allowing you to move forward with life.\u00a0 Furthermore, it allows all others involved the right and freedom to move forward as well.<\/p>\n DISCIPLINE WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE <\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cWhat I love most about fatherhood is the opportunity to be a part of the development process of a new life.\u201d Always be certain to employ an unconditional spirit of love with discipline.\u00a0 If you are forced to discipline, do it in a manner that is respectful, dignified, and loving.\u00a0\u00a0 As a father, you may ask your child to participate in his or her discipline, rather than disciplining with an iron fist.\u00a0\u00a0 A father does not have to \u201cuse the rod\u201d to discipline a child.\u00a0 In fact, we should remove the word discipline from our vocabulary, replacing it with the guidance.<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 If we are guiding our children, we are offering positive advice and\/or information that is aimed at resolving a problem or personal challenge.<\/p>\n BE STUDIOUS <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>\u201cNothing I\u2019ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.\u201d As a father, do not fear being limited in your information.\u00a0 Do everything you can to gain information, knowledge, skills, and sound facts.\u00a0 All human beings are limited as parents; thus it does take a village to raise a child<\/em>.<\/p>\n BE CONSCIENTIOUS<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cFatherhood is the most amazing thing that could ever have happened in my life.\u201d As a father, have an attitude of diligence and a desire to be punctilious.\u00a0 Fatherhood is a directional role, thus we should be guiding in a way that inspires others to follow positive pathways.\u00a0 If I am acting in a conscientious way, then I will have a deep desire and heartfelt yearning to do that which is right.<\/p>\n PLAY – BE ACTIVE TOGETHER<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cBeing a father, being a friend, those are the things that make me feel successful.\u201d As fathers, we should have a desire to be active participants in our children\u2019s lives.\u00a0 The particulars behind being active may vary depending upon the father.\u00a0 Nevertheless, being active implies that we are engaging, or ready to engage, in a specific pursuit.\u00a0\u00a0 I may be an active scholar with my child, while the next fellow is an active outdoorsman.\u00a0 Whatever the pursuit, be active and diligent to show care and conscientiousness when engaging your child.\u00a0 Likewise, be certain that your activity is engulfed with positive and constructive pursuits.<\/p>\n UNCONDITIONAL LOVE<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>\u201cThe greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.\u201d As a father, unconditional love flows both ways.\u00a0 If I love my child and do not have the same love for my own being; my child will drawn upon the self-deprecating aspect of my love.\u00a0 However, if I love myself unconditionally, then I will have an internal peace that passes all understanding.\u00a0 My personal love should never be selfish, self-centered, or greedy, rather it is the type of love that is selfless, self-sacrificing, and concerned more with the needs and wishes of another.\u00a0 Unconditional love sees beyond our failures and our successes.\u00a0 If we have unconditional love for another, then we place \u201cNO\u201d conditions upon our relationship.\u00a0 Conditional love is subject to one or more conditions and it requires that they be met or maintained.\u00a0 Whereas, unconditional love is not subject to any condition.\u00a0\u00a0 Unconditional love is the ultimate form of love, because it loves beyond the good and the bad, our successes and failures, it loves because of who we are and not the deeds or acts that we commit. (Brown, 2008)<\/p>\n Authors<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., N.C.C.M.<\/p>\n Website<\/strong>:\u00a0 http:\/\/www.asadonbrown.com<\/a><\/p>\n REFERENCES<\/strong><\/p>\n Brown, A. D. (2008) The effects of childhood trauma on adult perception and worldview. <\/em> Minneapolis, MN: Capella University, Proquest LLC; 154 pages; AAT 3297512<\/p>\n Oprah (2014) The myth of \u201cquality time\u201d<\/em>. Retrieved February 2, 2014 from http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/oprahradio\/The-Myth-of-Quality-Time<\/a><\/p>\n
\n~ William Shakespeare<\/p>\n
\n~ Howard W. Hunter<\/p>\n
\n~ Elton John<\/p>\n
\n~ Sigmund Freud<\/p>\n
\n~ Seal<\/p>\n
\n~ Bill Cosby<\/p>\n
\n~ Corey Feldman<\/p>\n
\n~ William Hurt<\/p>\n
\n~ Brian Tracy<\/p>\n