{"id":5559,"date":"2013-11-06T09:42:40","date_gmt":"2013-11-06T14:42:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=3121"},"modified":"2022-10-06T14:23:02","modified_gmt":"2022-10-06T18:23:02","slug":"effective-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/effective-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Effective Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Entering parenthood is liken an Indiana Jones Movie.\u00a0 You have many uncertainties, insecurities, angst and a general uneasiness about the whole adventure.\u00a0\u00a0 Not unlike an Indiana Jones movie, you are always inadequately prepared for the 2 a.m. squelch that ignites into a thundering roar of screaming.\u00a0 Whether you are speaking of a newborn baby or a teenager, each stage of childhood is a personal learning curve for each parent.<\/p>\n

Moreover, no two children are identically alike, thus being educated by one child is only the beginning of your parental pursuit.\u00a0 From the moment that the child is comfortably placed into your arms, you are operating without a how-to manual.\u00a0 While many experts can spew their literary, philosophical, academic, and ideological perspectives; children have very few absolutes.\u00a0\u00a0 You may be asking yourself, so what are these absolutes<\/em>?\u00a0 It is absolutely essential that all children are placed into a loving, compassionate, empathetic, nurturing, caring, and forgiving environment.\u00a0 Children should never be intentionally exposed to harm of any sort; whether it is forcible or not, the home must be a place of safety and care.\u00a0\u00a0 It is absolutely essential that all parents recognize that they are not alone in their parental training.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one comes into this world knowing how to be a good parent. The challenges and experiences of our lives directly affect the environment we create for our own children. We know now that crime, divorce, scores of diseases, obesity and poor academic performance are directly linked to adverse childhood experiences, such as child abuse<\/strong> and neglect<\/strong>.\u201d (Learntoparent.org,2013, Online)<\/p>\n

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Society has far too long expected that parenting is a natural occurrence.\u00a0 While healthy copulation (sexual intercourse)<\/em> is indeed a natural experience, the parameters beyond that initial sexual act begin the parental educational paradigm.\u00a0\u00a0 However, even in the process of having sexual relations; it is a must that we are in agreement with our partner to procreate.<\/p>\n

ABSOLUTES OF PARENTING <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cParenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.\u201d
\n~ Matt Walsh<\/p>\n

Parents must absolutely seek help for any uncertainties, questions, concerns, or feelings of inadequacies that have a chance of driving a wedge between them and their child.\u00a0 For far too long, we have relied upon an unwritten rule that says if you are human you should be capable of being a parent.<\/em>\u00a0 Unfortunately, this is misleading; causing good parents to feel inadequate.\u00a0 If we were not born with an owner\u2019s manual, then how do we expect that our child should be born with an owner\u2019s manual.\u00a0 Moreover, if we are not born with a how-to manual, then why should we expect parents to be equipped with such an elusive manual?<\/p>\n

If we expect parents to be fully equipped with a how-to manual, then we are setting young parents up for possible and probable failure.\u00a0 Therefore, such misnomers allow for the flood gates of poor parenting, abuse, neglect and traumatic experiences per childhood.<\/p>\n

An absolute of parenting is that all parents are capable of learning.\u00a0\u00a0 Do not fret if you are striving to be your best and you make an error in your parenting, because we are all prone to failure.\u00a0 Rather, make each mistake a teachable moment for the life of your child.\u00a0 Lift your bootstraps up, forgive yourself, and move forward.\u00a0 Remember that every failure is offering you, as the parent, an opportunity to achieve personal and parental growth.<\/p>\n

IMPROVING YOUR PARENTING SKILLS<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.\u201d
\n~ Franklin D. Roosevelt<\/p>\n

If you are striving to improve and become an effective parent, consider the following resources and courses:<\/em><\/p>\n

1. Parenting Classes<\/strong>:\u00a0 Parenting courses are often available through community and family service offices, as well as psychological and counseling clinics.\u00a0 Parenting courses are designed to:<\/p>\n

A)\u00a0 Encourage parents to prove more effective and successful caregivers.<\/p>\n

B)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Parenting courses should offer parents the basic principles of child development.<\/p>\n

C)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Such courses should foster a parent\u2019s strengths and tools and recognize, as well as correct any limitations, weakness or vulnerabilities.<\/p>\n

D)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Parents should learn skills to improve their own verbal and nonverbal communications.<\/p>\n

E)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Parenting courses should help parents who struggle with anger and behavior management issues.\u00a0\u00a0 In some cases, parents may be better served to have both couples and individual counseling.<\/p>\n

F)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Parents should learn what are appropriate behaviors and expectations of their children.<\/p>\n

2. Couple\u2019s Therapy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Additionally, young parents and first time parents should consider taking couple\u2019s therapy.\u00a0 Couple\u2019s therapy will help develop the already established relationship, as well as prepare the couple for an additional participant within their relationship.<\/p>\n

3. Individual Therapy<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0 Individual therapy offers a sounding board for those within the relationship to discuss any concerns, frets, or stressors around the pending birth of their child.\u00a0 Individual therapy should aim to encourage, empower, and enable the parent to be an effective parent, as well as an individual.<\/p>\n

EFFECTIVE PARENTING 101<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cTeaching our children to control themselves is far more effective than trying to control our children.<\/p>\n