{"id":5551,"date":"2013-10-11T15:14:54","date_gmt":"2013-10-11T19:14:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=3070"},"modified":"2013-10-11T15:14:54","modified_gmt":"2013-10-11T19:14:54","slug":"the-psychology-of-perfectionism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\/","title":{"rendered":"The Psychology of Perfectionism"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u201cI\u2019m a perfectionist, so I can drive myself mad – and other people, too.\u00a0 At the same time, I think that\u2019s one of the reasons I\u2019m successful.\u00a0 Because I really care about what I do.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Michelle Pfeiffer<\/p>\n

Why is it that perfectionism is considered a negative?\u00a0 Are there not benefits from having a perfectionistic attitude?\u00a0 According to New Oxford American Dictionary<\/em>, perfectionism<\/strong> is \u201cthe refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.\u201d\u00a0 In reality, there a variety of influences that create perfectionism.\u00a0 Perfectionism may be influenced or imposed by another.\u00a0 Many times we adopt these habits, traits, characteristics, features, customs, standards, and ideological viewpoints during our youth.\u00a0 In some cases, the perfectionistic way is unbeknownst to us.\u00a0<\/p>\n

There are many different types of perfectionism:\u00a0 A person may desire to prove perfectionistic if he\/she has an aspiration to prove flawless in one\u2019s pursuits, endeavors, and through his\/her life ambitions.\u00a0 In some cases, perfectionistic individuals have a strong urge to have even the\u00a0 appearance of control.\u00a0 The control maybe over one\u2019s own personal emotional, psychological, or physical being; or it may be over another, an event, a place or an object.\u00a0 The control may stem from a life that feels out of control, vulnerable, or susceptible to others.\u00a0 It may have been inspired by physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse.\u00a0 Unfortunately, negative perfectionism commonly stems from our childhood.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

THE MAKEUP OF A PERFECTIONIST<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes, I\u2019m an ogre.\u00a0 I can be short.\u00a0 I\u2019ll walk into the office some days and I\u2019ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, and everybody knows it.\u00a0 I\u2019m a perfectionist.\u00a0 I like to be organized, and I like to get everything done today.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Jack Nickalaus<\/p>\n

While the attitudes, perceptions, and behaviors of a perfectionist may be reflective in the lives of those who are perfectionistic; not all perfectionists are woven from the same fabric.\u00a0 \u201cPerfectionism is the most misunderstood aspect of the personality of the gifted.\u00a0 The psychological field characterizes it in extremely negative ways, which may be counterproductive to the development of the gifted individual.\u00a0 There are positive as well as negative aspects of perfectionism, depending on how it is channeled.\u00a0 As one gains higher consciousness, perfectionism becomes a catalyst for self-actualization and humanitarian ideals.\u201d (Silverman, 1999, p. 1)<\/p>\n

Perfectionists are not all negative, miserable, unhappy and over controlling individuals.\u00a0 In many cases, perfectionists lead productive, happy, peaceful, and enlightened lives.\u00a0 There are two sides to perfectionism.\u00a0 There are those who are controlled by their perfectionism and there are those who are not.\u00a0 Furthermore, those who are controlled by their perfectionism may only be controlled by their perfectionism when life appears or feels overwhelming or out-of-control.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Whereas, when life is going well, the perfectionism may be a subtle mannerism or a controlled force for this individual.\u00a0 Nevertheless, there are those who have also learned to harness the good from perfectionism, while nipping off the negative clutches of perfectionism.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThe pursuit of excellence is a personal journey into higher realms of existence, a journey that enriches the self and the world through its bounty.\u201d\u00a0 (Silverman, 1999, p. 1)\u00a0\u00a0 Consider for a moment, what if we were to eliminate perfectionism?\u00a0 How would the elimination of perfectionism affect our world?\u00a0 Would the sciences advance without perfectionism?\u00a0 Are there benefits to perfectionism?\u00a0 It has been said that perfectionism is not adaptive.\u00a0 \u201cPaul Hewitt, Ph.D., does not have much patience with researchers who argue that perfectionism-the need to be or appear perfect-can sometimes serve as a healthy motivation for reaching ambitious goals.\u00a0 \u2018I don\u2019t think needing to be perfect is in any way adaptive,\u2019 he says.\u201d (Benson, 2003, p. 18)\u00a0 Why is it that perfectionism cannot be adaptive?\u00a0 If a person where to loose a limb, does he not adapt to his loss?\u00a0 If they were to loose their sight, the human body itself intrinsically and naturally knows to adapt to this sudden loss of one\u2019s senses.\u00a0 Arguably, the loss of sight and the loss of a limb have little to do with perfectionism, but what about the loss of control?\u00a0 Perhaps, perfectionism is the human bodies way of reinstating control into the framework of the human condition.\u00a0 Likewise, it is the individual who has to adapt to life as a perfectionist, learning to sway it into a positive direction rather than a negative.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

IS PERFECTIONISM ADAPTIVE?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t believe in perfection.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think there is such a thing.\u00a0 But the energy of wanting things to be great is a perfectionist energy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Reese Witherspoon<\/p>\n

As a doctoral student, I was taught that one mistake on a psychological test would be one mistake too many.\u00a0 In fact, it was reinforced that \u201cif,\u201d I were to make a mistake while examining a patient \/ client, then I should consider the psychological examination as null or invalid.\u00a0 Consider the ramifications of making an error on a psychological test?\u00a0 If the error was grave enough, it could alter the score in such a way that could have an egregious impact upon the lives that it may be serving.\u00a0 What if you went to see a medical physician and he overlooked the signs of cancer?\u00a0 Perfectionism can serve as an instrument of good.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Perfectionism does not have to be about being perfect, rather having an innate desire to prove your best.\u00a0 As a young man, my own perfectionism began to have a negative impact upon my life.\u00a0 As a student, I would continuously beat myself up if I made a mark lower than I had expected; which would have been an A+.\u00a0 As a person, if I perceived that I had failed at a relationship, my mind would be in the gutter for days dragging my person through the mud.\u00a0 As an adult, I began examining my need for perfectionism.\u00a0 Through my examination of my need to prove \u201cperfect,\u201d I recognized my desire and need to be in control.\u00a0 My recognition of my need for perfectionism, released me from the need to be perfect,\u00a0 and allowed me to be me.\u00a0 As I began recognizing my behavioral complexities, I soon discovered that \u201cI,\u201d Asa Don Brown, could pursue something with the same vigor, but must allow myself to fail and that failure can prove beneficial.\u00a0 Once I began to recognize that failure can prove a personal benefit, then I began to slowly and gradually release myself from the chains that had bound me for years.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Through my personal insights and enlightenment, I began to recognize that perfectionism can be adapted for my wellbeing and the wellbeing of others.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Perfectionism is adaptive if you are mindful<\/em> of your humanhood.\u00a0 According to New Oxford American Dictionary<\/em>, mindfulness<\/strong> is \u201cconscious or aware of something:\u00a0 we can be more mindful of the energy we use to heat.\u201d\u00a0 It is the ability to consider the good and the bad of an event, person, place or thing as simply features of life.\u00a0 It is the acceptance that I do not have control over my being or over anything else in life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

As an individual I was not only lacking in mindfulness, but I was lacking in the unconditional<\/em> acceptance, approval, and love<\/em> of my person.\u00a0 If I ever desire to convey these unto another, then I recognized that I must employ them into my own life.\u00a0 Therefore, through my need to prove a perfectionist, I recognized that I was lacking in my own person.\u00a0 Mindfulness helped me to recognize that I needed to embrace both the good and bad of my person, but that I should not identify with them.\u00a0 Through my mindful state I recognized that I am neither; the good or bad in my life.\u00a0 Of equal importance, it helped me to recognize that I am not my successes or failures, rather I am a person of worth, value, acceptance, approval, and love.\u00a0 Once I recognized these features of life, then I began to see the value of my perfectionism.\u00a0\u00a0 Perfectionism is capable of instilling good, as long as we know that if \u201cI fail or succeed,\u201d that I am not the outcome.\u00a0\u00a0 Mindfulness taught me that failure is nothing more than a life challenge; I have control over whether or not I accept or reject this challenge.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am neither the good or the bad that occurs in\u00a0 my life.\u00a0 For who I am, has nothing to do with my successes or failures; weaknesses or strengths;\u00a0 for I am spirit and not my human condition.\u201d (Brown, 2010, p. 14)<\/p>\n

EXTINGUISHING PERFECTIONISM <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat appears in a minority of human individuals as an untiring impulsion towards further perfection can easily be understood as a result of the instinctual repression upon which is based all that is most precious in human civilization.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Sigmund Freud<\/p>\n

The concept of perfectionism has had a negative wrap.\u00a0 \u201cIt is popular today to separate the pursuit of excellence from perfectionism.\u201d (Silverman, 1999, p. 3) Is it really possible to separate the pursuit of excellence from perfectionism?\u00a0 Are those who are trying to segregate excellence from perfectionism as driven to achieve high standards?\u00a0 \u201cGreenspon (1999) suggests that striving for excellence reflects good self-esteem and involves \u2018strong desires to do well, to master a task, to challenge oneself, to know as much as possible, or to be the best.\u2019 (p. 1).\u201d (Silverman, 1999, p. 3- 4)\u00a0 There is a movement today to extinguish the very nature of perfectionism.\u00a0\u00a0 Arguably, even if the body of words are removed from the human vernacular; the internal language of striving for excellence will not be extinguished.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

What is wrong with striving for excellence?\u00a0 What if, a person is capable of learning to control his\/her perfectionistic characteristics rather than the perfectionism controlling him\/her?\u00a0 If capable, would not the perfectionistic person have the bull by the horns?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Are we not arguing semantics when we distinguish excellence, adaptivity, or healthy striver<\/em> (California State University Bakersfield, 2013; University of Texas, 2013) as more positive outlooks on the perfectionistic persona?\u00a0\u00a0 Whether you call the individual an alternate name or not, perfectionism is at the heart of the matter. Therefore, let\u2019s call a spade a spade; those who have a yearning for perfectionism desire to prove excellent, have an ability to adapt, thus becoming a healthy striver.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Again, it is important to recognize that \u201cif-and-only-if\u201d a perfectionist has a good self-esteem, \u201cthen-and-only-then,\u201d will perfectionism work for the individual.\u00a0 In order to reach such a healthy level of self-esteem, the individual must be capable of unconditionally accepting, approving, and loving his\/her person.\u00a0 Furthermore, if anyone<\/em> desires to convey an unconditional spirit unto another, he\/she must first-and-foremost be capable of having an unconditional spirit within his\/her own person.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

THE CAUTIONS AROUND PERFECTIONISM <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI think every chef, not just in America, but across the world, has a double-edged sword – two jackets, one that\u2019s driven, a self-confessed perfectionist, thoroughbred, hate incompetence and switch off the stove, take off the jacket and become a family man.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Gordon Ramsey<\/p>\n

If you have a child who is perfectionistic, do not punish them for drawing outside the lines, because they are inherently learning to adapt their perfectionistic characteristics in a healthy perspective.\u00a0 The mistake is, parents and teachers often punish children for coloring outside the lines.\u00a0 While it is important to be adaptive in an educational environment, it is equally important for parents and teachers to allow the child to gain appreciation for his or her perfectionistic characteristics.\u00a0 The best approach to teaching is not a dictatorship rather a mentorship.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Perfectionists take everything to heart.\u00a0 If a person has not been taught the benefits of failure, he\/she will see it as a negative.\u00a0\u00a0 Our educational institutions are unfavorable of failure.\u00a0 As children we are taught that failure is a negative thing, rather than seeing the benefits of failure.\u00a0 We are taught that we are lacking, underserving and inept.\u00a0\u00a0 Our institutions do not reward attempts, only those who have successfully accomplished the task being assigned.\u00a0 Regrettably, those who have perfectionistic characteristics and have not been taught the positives of failure, and harbor any failure as a reflection upon their identity.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Perfectionists who have not been taught to unconditionally accept, approve and love oneself, will certainly identify with every word uttered.\u00a0 Therefore, it is vitally important that any person<\/em> who is incapable of unconditionally accepting him\/herself should be taught to do so.\u00a0 Unconditional acceptance should not be an excuse to make failure allowable or permissible, rather teaches the individual how he\/she may improve through a positive perspective.\u00a0 Likewise, it teaches the individual not to identify with the failure or success that occurs within his\/her life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

THE BENEFITS OF PERFECTIONISM <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen a person is a perfectionist, she takes pride in her work. She pays close attention to detail, works hard until the job is done right and stands behind the work that she completes. Being a perfectionist can come with many advantages, as perfectionists are often highly regarded for the impeccable work that they produce.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Laura Jerpi<\/p>\n

Perfectionists are high achievers.\u00a0 Perfectionists are capable of positively influencing others.\u00a0 Perfectionistic attitudes do not have to be intolerable, unacceptable, and unendurable; rather if the person who is gifted with the perfectionistic makeup is capable of adapting these skills into a positive behavioral perspective, then they are capable of proving an asset to any team.<\/p>\n

The Starbucks Corporation has a made undeniable mark upon the corporate and consumer world.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The corporation being founded by Howard Schultz has been described as a healthy perfectionist.\u00a0 His corporation and his personal motto is reflected in his attitudes.\u00a0 In his book, \u201cOnward:\u00a0 How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul,\u201d Schultz instructs through a positively perfectionistic view:\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGrow with discipline<\/em>. Balance intuition with rigor. Innovate around the core. Don’t embrace the status quo. Find new ways to see. Never expect a silver bullet. Get your hands dirty. Listen with empathy and over-communicate with transparency. Tell your story, refusing to let others define you<\/em>. Use authentic experiences to inspire. Stick to your values, they are your foundation. Hold people accountable, but give them the tools to succeed. Make the tough choices; it’s how you execute that counts. Be decisive in times of crisis. Be nimble. Find truth in trials and lessons in mistakes<\/em>. Be responsible for what you see, hear, and do. Believe.<\/em>\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It is essential that if <\/em>you want to live a healthy perfectionistic life; that you learn to unconditionally accept, approve, and love your being. Through an unconditional state you will be invincible capable of believing in yourself and your dream.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Authors<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., N.C.C.M. and Tracy Lynn Brown, O.D.<\/p>\n

Website<\/strong>:\u00a0 http:\/\/www.asadonbrown.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Photograph\/Artwork<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0Leah Brown, L.B. Creations.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

REFERENCES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Benson, E. (2003) The many faces of perfectionism. Monitor<\/em>, 34 (10) 18<\/p>\n

Brown, A. D. (2010) Waiting to live<\/em>, Bloomington, IN:\u00a0 IUniverse<\/p>\n

Burns, D. D. (1980) The perfectionist\u2019s script for self-defeat. Psychology Today<\/em>, 36-52<\/p>\n

Centre for Clinical Interventions, CCI (2013) Perfectionism in perspective.\u00a0 Retrieved October 7, 2013, from http:\/\/www.cci.health.wa.gov.au\/resources\/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=52<\/a><\/p>\n

California State University Bakersfield, CSUB (2013) Perfectionism:\u00a0 A double-edged sword. Retrieved October 6, 2013 from http:\/\/www.csub.edu\/counselingcenter\/mentalHealth\/perfectionism.shtml<\/a><\/p>\n

Klicka, C. J. (2000) Home schooled students excel in college. Retrieved October 6, 2013 from http:\/\/www.hslda.org\/docs\/nche\/000000\/00000017.asp<\/a><\/p>\n

Neville, A. (2013) Perfectionism is the enemy of everything. Retrieved October 6, 2013 from\u00a0 http:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/amandaneville\/2013\/05\/10\/perfectionism-is-the-enemy-of-everything\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Silverman, L. K. (1999) Perfectionism:\u00a0 The crucible of giftedness.\u00a0 Advanced Development,<\/em> 8, 47-61<\/p>\n

Silverman, L. K. (2002). Upside-down brilliance:\u00a0 The visual-spatial learner.<\/em> Denver, CO: DeLeon.<\/p>\n

The University of Texas, UT (2013) Perfectionism verses healthy striving. Retrieved October 6, 2013 from http:\/\/cmhc.utexas.edu\/perfectionism.html<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019m a perfectionist, so I can drive myself mad – and other people, too.\u00a0 At the same time, I think that\u2019s one of the reasons I\u2019m successful.\u00a0 Because I really care about what I do.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Michelle Pfeiffer Why is it that perfectionism is considered a negative?\u00a0 Are there not benefits from having a perfectionistic […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001014,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[820],"tags":[527,529,168,259,329,904,905,331,87,536],"class_list":["post-5551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationshipsmarriageandthefamily","tag-acceptance","tag-approval","tag-children","tag-counseling","tag-dr-asa-don-brown","tag-perfectionism","tag-perfectionistic","tag-psychological","tag-psychotherapy","tag-unconditional-love"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Psychology of Perfectionism - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Psychology of Perfectionism - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cI\u2019m a perfectionist, so I can drive myself mad – and other people, too.\u00a0 At the same time, I think that\u2019s one of the reasons I\u2019m successful.\u00a0 Because I really care about what I do.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Michelle Pfeiffer Why is it that perfectionism is considered a negative?\u00a0 Are there not benefits from having a perfectionistic […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-10-11T19:14:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/perfectionism1-300x241.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Asa Don Brown\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Asa Don Brown\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"13 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Asa Don Brown\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/93d96911ecc49f07bab9f170301e402b\"},\"headline\":\"The Psychology of Perfectionism\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-10-11T19:14:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":2597,\"commentCount\":1,\"keywords\":[\"acceptance\",\"approval\",\"children\",\"counseling\",\"Dr. Asa Don Brown\",\"perfectionism\",\"perfectionistic\",\"psychological\",\"psychotherapy\",\"unconditional love\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Relationships, Marriage, and the Family\"],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/the-psychology-of-perfectionism\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Psychology of Perfectionism - 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