{"id":5545,"date":"2013-09-27T16:03:04","date_gmt":"2013-09-27T20:03:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=3021"},"modified":"2013-09-27T16:03:04","modified_gmt":"2013-09-27T20:03:04","slug":"the-effects-of-belittling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/the-effects-of-belittling\/","title":{"rendered":"The Effects of Belittling"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cA strong man cannot help a weaker unless the weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ James Allen <\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>We most commonly associate abuse with sexual and physical deeds.\u00a0 Rarely do we consider the ramifications that psychological and emotional abuse can have on the life of another.\u00a0 \u201cIt may be the most common kind of child abuse \u2014 and the most challenging to deal with. But psychological abuse, or emotional abuse, rarely gets the kind of attention that sexual or physical abuse receives.\u201d (Blue, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n

Psychological and emotional abuse are most commonly associated with intentional or grave harm, but psychological and emotional abuse can be as sneaky as a snake.\u00a0 If you consider the emotional upheaval that occurs within a person\u2019s being when he\/she receive a threat, perceive a threat, or vicariously experience a threat; it is as life shattering as being harmed.\u00a0\u00a0 A simple threat can accelerate an individual\u2019s desire to find a place of safety and care.\u00a0 \u201cKeeping a child in a constant state of fear is abuse…\u201d (Blue, 2012, Online) If a child fears being spanked, and\/or some other egregious form of punishment, then you create an environment of fear based parenting.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Abuse<\/strong> is the intentional or the unintentional emotional fraying of another\u2019s personhood.\u00a0 It is emotional abuse that can have a dire impact upon a person\u2019s self-esteem and the development of his\/her personal ego. It is through this development of the ego that an individual gains an individualistic impression of his\/her self-importance and his\/her inner person.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cChildhood abuse may have a range with respect to the degree of severity, intensity, frequency, and longevity endured by a child victim. Abuse can entail \u2018physical, emotional, or sexual abuse of children usually by parents, relatives, or caretakers\u2019 (Dorland\u2019s, 2003, p. 8). Abuse may consist of physical maltreatment or language that is belittling, discriminatory, condemning, vilifying, typically uttering statements or words that are personally demeaning; sexual abuse may consist of aggressive behaviors, inappropriate touching or fondling, implied intent of sexual acts, witnessing sexual acts or physical penetration; emotional abuse may consist of the intent to ignore, the intent to corrupt through various acts, isolation, intentional acts of rejection, and terrorizing. Effects of abuse in childhood might consist of the display of aggressive behaviors, an inability to relate or attach to others, establishing inappropriate attachments, an inability to control one\u2019s emotions, commonly displaying mild to severe developmental delay, and\/or a significant delay in physiological growth (maturation).\u201d (Brown, 2008, p. 19)<\/p>\n

THE EFFECT OF BELITTLING<\/strong><\/p>\n

As children, we derive our personal self-esteem, self-worth, and the very nature of our personhood through those who nurture us.\u00a0 While nature is a major contributor to our personal temperament <\/em>and resiliency<\/em>, it is the vice of nurturing that can sway our internal drives.\u00a0 For example, if you purchase a computer that is fully functioning; you, as the owner, decide whether or not to surf the internet, download files, create programs, add or remove software or hardware, and a host of other tasks related to the ownership of a computer.\u00a0 Owning a computer is much like raising a child, although you do not own and\/or are you the \u201cmaster\u201d of a child<\/em>.\u00a0 You can add or delete programs, create corrupted files, and intentionally or unintentionally commit deeds that are unintended with the rearing of a child.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What is belittling?\u00a0 Belittling is the intentional act of making another feel worthless, empty, and dismissed.\u00a0 It is one of many forms of psychological and emotional abuse.\u00a0 Belittling another often creates a personal emptiness and void.\u00a0 It can create a sense of loneliness and despair in the lives of many.\u00a0 It creates the attitude of \u201cWhy should I give a dam, nobody else does?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 When someone belittles another he\/she are often trivializing, minimizing, downgrading, running or playing down the personhood of another.\u00a0 Why does belittling occur?\u00a0 If a parent is the perpetrator of the act of belittling, he\/she may feel insecure, doubtful or lacking confidence in his\/her own person.\u00a0\u00a0 Thus, the parent sees the child as an extension of his\/her own personhood.\u00a0\u00a0 In the mind of that insecure parent, he\/she perceive that child as a mini-me.\u00a0 As a mini-me you are incapable of going beyond or achieving successes or failures unimaginable or unattainable to the parent.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, belittling is not only occurring in the home, but it is occurs in the classroom as well.\u00a0\u00a0 While the act is committed by another, the rationale or motivation is frequently associated with the same level of insecurities, self-doubts, anger, hostilities, and personal lack of confidence.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

THE IMPACT OF BELITTLING<\/em><\/p>\n

Belittling can have a most egregious impact upon the life of a child.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cConstantly belittling, threatening or ignoring children can be as damaging to their mental health as physical or sexual abuse.\u201d (Goodwin, 2012, Online) The graver issue with belittling is that it leaves no visible or recognizable scars.\u00a0 \u201cBut, with no bruises to spot, pediatricians, teachers, and family members may have trouble recognizing these and other forms of psychological abuse. Not only are there no obvious physical scars, there is no universally agreed-upon definition of what constitutes psychological maltreatment of children, and a fine line can exist between not-so-great parenting and outright abuse…\u201d (Goodwin, 2012, Online).\u00a0\u00a0 Regrettably, there are no uniformed codes of being, or conducting oneself, as a parent.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Moreover, it is important to recognize that belittling is not limited to the home, but occurs frequently on the playground and in the classroom.\u00a0 Do not dismiss where, when, and\/or how belittling is fostered; because the effect of belittling can have the same effect no matter where, when, and\/or how it is cultivated.\u00a0\u00a0 It is most important to recognize that belittling is abuse and it will have a lifelong effect.\u00a0<\/p>\n

RECOGNIZING THE IMPACT OF BELITTLING<\/em><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, the impact of verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse is most commonly overlooked by parents and professionals.\u00a0\u00a0 When a child has been traumatically injected any form of abuse, the immediacy of care is essential.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFor a number of children who are traumatized, the need for receiving care following the trauma often goes unrecognized (Kazak et al., 2004; Phillips et al., 2004) or rejected by the parental caregiver. A minimization of the trauma and its effects is common…\u201d (Brown, 2008, p. 10)\u00a0 whether it is received from the parental caregiver or a professional, the minimization of certain types of abuse occurs.\u00a0 Parents and professionals minimize the harm as an act to \u201c…shelter and calm the child. It has been commonly assumed that focusing on children\u2019s issues too long will negatively impact their recovery. Therefore, the parental caregiver teaches the child to mask his or her issues. If the traumatic event goes unchecked, it may allow for the child to develop a host of psychological and medical issues (Allen, 2005; Goldsmith et al., 2004; Phillips et al.) which may eventually relate to how he\/she interact with others and perceive him\/herself.\u201d (Brown, 2008, p. 10)<\/p>\n

The urgency for aid is crucial to the child\u2019s recovery.\u00a0\u00a0 If you avoid seeking out aid, the child may harbor resentment.\u00a0 Likewise, the type of aid may, and will vary, depending upon the type, frequency, longevity, and the overall duration of the event.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Furthermore, it is important to recognize that each child will respond and react differently to abuse.\u00a0<\/p>\n

THE CHALLENGE<\/em><\/p>\n

The greatest challenge for professionals and parents is recognizing the level of abuse or the potential for abuse. Sadly, not all matters are taken seriously, while others are over dramatized, sensationalized or scrutinized.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

As parents and professionals, it is necessary that we take all<\/em> forms of abuse as serious.\u00a0 If a child is in distress, whether he\/she is displaying extreme anxiety, stress, sorrow or pain, we must offer him or her aid.\u00a0 The immediacy of aid is essential to the recovery efforts.\u00a0<\/p>\n

RECOVERING FROM MALTREATMENT<\/strong><\/p>\n

All forms of abuse are considered maltreatment.\u00a0 Maltreatment may occur intentionally or unintentionally.\u00a0 \u201cPsychological maltreatment of children can take many forms. It can include chronically belittling, humiliating or ridiculing a child for showing normal emotions. There is also neglect, such as leaving an infant alone in a crib all day, except for feeding or changing.\u201d (Goodwin, 2012, Online).\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

The challenge remains that professionals, teachers and parents are at odds when creating a standard definition of abuse.\u00a0\u00a0 Consider the following questions:\u00a0<\/p>\n