![\"\"](\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/staying-true.jpg\" "\\"staying")
<\/a>What does it mean to \u201cstay true unto oneself?\u201d\u00a0 Shakespeare spoke of this immortal question, others have reformatted and repackaged the idea, but still many remain uncertain of the essential meaning of being true unto oneself.\u00a0<\/p>\nWhat is the importance of staying true unto oneself?<\/em> However you want to package the basic premise is:\u00a0 be authentic in all that you do.\u00a0 Do not waver from the nature of your true person.\u00a0 Whoever you are, allow that person to shine through.\u00a0<\/p>\n AUTHENTICITY <\/strong><\/p>\n Authentic people are undisputedly genuine.\u00a0 Genuine people do not rely on the approval or acceptance of others, rather they diligently seek to be themselves.\u00a0 They deny the ownership of critical words or deeds that others lay at their feet.\u00a0 Genuine people are not perfect, but strive for improvement on a daily and frequent basis.\u00a0 They are also capable of accepting positively constructive criticism, while denying the negative intentions, deeds, actions, or criticisms that others may choose to offer.\u00a0\u00a0 An authentic person is a sincere person relying upon their inner being for acceptance and approval.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ACCEPTANCE AND APPROVAL<\/strong><\/p>\n As a human culture, we have woven a tale that says we must seek out the approval and disapproval of others.\u00a0 It is expressed through our culture that acceptance is only conveyed when we fulfill the wishes or commands of another.\u00a0 It is through this acceptance that we become \u201cworthy\u201d according to this tale-of-tales.\u00a0 If we do not follow the commands or wishes of others, then we will open ourselves up to the rejection of those others.\u00a0<\/p>\n The truth is: if I do not need the acceptance or approval of another, rather seek it through my own person; then I am free to be who I wish to be.\u00a0\u00a0 Let me clarify, if I am true unto my own person, I cannot offer or do harm unto another or unto my own person.\u00a0 Being true unto yourself is not a tool for the narcissist to be crass or the antisocial to prove egregious in nature.\u00a0 Rather, being true unto yourself says that you rely upon your own person for personal gratification, favor, and respect.\u00a0<\/p>\n Consider the following:\u00a0 If a young person is in constant need of approval from a particular person, then what occurs when that person suddenly is removed that individual\u2019s life.\u00a0 What if the person suddenly dies?\u00a0 <\/strong>Then what, does the young person seek out another individual for personal strokes of approval and acceptance?\u00a0 Moreover, what if an individual has entered a relationship that is bombarded with conditions?\u00a0 I will love you as long as you… Are they receiving true and unconditional love?\u00a0 Has not the condition already limited the amount of love being offered?<\/p>\n As a practitioner, I have witnessed countless individuals struggle with leaving an abusive partner.\u00a0 Of course, the abused is often justifying and reinforcing the behavior by denying the abusers intent or harmful ways.\u00a0 Please understand that I never encourage a patient to stay or leave an abuser, rather I empower the individual to make this most difficult decision.\u00a0\u00a0 Nevertheless, abused individuals have frequently expressed that they feel worthless and broken by this individual that they depend upon this individual\u2019s approval and acceptance.\u00a0 What would happen if they were not so reliant upon this individual\u2019s approval and acceptance?\u00a0 My theory is, if an individual is capable of providing their own approval and acceptance, then they will not be dependent upon the approval and acceptance of another.\u00a0\u00a0 If we are reliant upon other\u2019s approval and acceptance then we are, in essence, held captive by these individuals.\u00a0<\/p>\n Being true unto yourself essentially means offering yourself an unconditional way of life.\u00a0<\/p>\n BEING UNCONDITIONAL <\/strong><\/p>\n Being unconditional is an empowerment of self.\u00a0 The unconditional state offers us the freedom to accept and approve of our person whether we fail or succeed.\u00a0\u00a0 The unconditional state teaches us that we are not our successes or failures, rather we are much more than those historical markers.\u00a0 If we are dependent upon our successes or failures for the development of our identity, then we will constantly be living in the past rather than living in the present moment.\u00a0 The unconditional state does not give us the freedom to be negative in nature, rather if we make a mistake and\/or act out in an egregious way, then we can be assured that we remain worthy, acceptable and approvable.\u00a0\u00a0 The unconditional state allows for the individual to look beyond those deeds, whether positive or negative, identifying their inner being by the spirit that drives their person.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n HOW DO I ACHIEVE THIS UNCONDITIONAL MINDSET? <\/strong><\/p>\n Begin by recognizing that you can always be thankful for others offerings:\u00a0 whether in the form of criticisms, opinions, emotional expression and\/or thought.\u00a0 We must learn that we are not to be tied down by these offerings, rather they are like the traditional comment card, simply good for the improvement of our person and not an indicator of our worth or acceptability.\u00a0\u00a0 Likewise, we must recognize that as individuals there is something deeper in our being that desires to express unconditional love, unconditional acceptance and unconditional approval unto others.\u00a0\u00a0 It is this same desire to express it outwardly that needs to begin within you.\u00a0\u00a0 You must begin daily by offering yourself a daily affirmation.\u00a0 Be certain to accept your own positive feedback whether in the form of verbal or nonverbal communications.\u00a0\u00a0 You are a person of worth.\u00a0<\/p>\n How well do you know yourself?\u00a0 It may be that you do not know yourself all that well.\u00a0 If so, begin spending quality time alone.\u00a0 Consider writing a personal journal focusing on the positive of life, and yes you are welcome to enter the bad.\u00a0 However, avoid making it a compliant journal.\u00a0 It is a journal to develop your person beyond the state you are currently residing.\u00a0 It is always a good exercise to journal both our negative and positive thoughts and events in life.\u00a0<\/p>\n What are the barriers that are limiting you from being an authentic person?\u00a0 Consider listing them, then strategically ticking them off as you overcome these barriers.\u00a0 Do not fret if you add a barrier that you have already overcome, because life is about challenging the obstacles that sometimes occur in life.\u00a0<\/p>\n As you seek to develop this unconditional mindset, consider developing a list of guiding principles for living out your life.\u00a0 You might consider reviewing others guiding principles for living their lives.\u00a0 You should also consider implementing any religious or spiritual systems of belief that encourage your desire for growth and obtainment of the unconditional state.\u00a0<\/p>\n