{"id":5518,"date":"2013-04-15T15:36:57","date_gmt":"2013-04-15T19:36:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=2820"},"modified":"2013-04-15T15:36:57","modified_gmt":"2013-04-15T19:36:57","slug":"forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cForgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. <\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Forgiveness is good, forgiveness is necessary, forgiveness stimulates the positive perspectives of the mind.\u00a0 When we retain hate, anger, displeasure, or hostility towards another; we have allowed the negative to absorb into our mind, body, and spirit.\u00a0 It is forgiveness that empty\u2019s the soul, mind, and the body of the filth that we carry.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Forgiveness allows the pathways of our minds to flow smoothly.\u00a0 We are blocking the pathways of nutrition, healthy, and happiness.\u00a0 Even if, we have the \u201cright\u201d to hold resentment towards another; any negative thought, deed, action or reaction only affects our person.\u00a0 When we hold contempt for another person, we are essentially continuing the harm that was done by another.\u00a0<\/p>\n

FORGIVENESS<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat we don\u2019t recognize is that holding onto resentment is like holding onto your breath.\u00a0 You\u2019ll soon start to suffocate.\u201d\u00a0 Deepak Chopra<\/em><\/p>\n

The importance of forgiveness is that it reminds us that we can feel better, be better, and achieve more.\u00a0 Forgiveness\u2019s importance is unmistakable; real forgiveness can alter your perceptions and worldview.\u00a0 If your worldview and perceptions have been based on the negative, then forgiveness refocuses your mindset onto the positive perspectives of life.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

FORGIVING OUR OWN PERSON<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cForgiveness is a gift you give yourself.\u201d ~ Tony Robbins<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are we so concerned about making mistakes?\u00a0 Why are we afraid of failure?\u00a0 As a society, we are taught that failure is a remark of our character, our persona, our very worth.\u00a0 From Hollywood to Bollywood we view movies and television shows that remark upon the negativity of failure.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Positive Aspect of Failure<\/em><\/p>\n

If I fail, then I have a guidepost, indicating the areas with which I can improve. Failure has become the barometer of negativity, rather than a potential of opportunity.\u00a0 Without failure, we could not relish in the achievement of our successes.\u00a0 As a good parent, we should teach our children that failure is an opportunity for improvement and growth, rather than a blockade deterring us from our greatest potential.\u00a0 Failure is no more than a mere challenge begging us to be better.\u201d (Brown, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n

Forgiving Our Person<\/em><\/p>\n

Forgiveness of self begins the process of forgiving others.\u00a0 If I choose not forgive myself, then I am also choosing to deny forgiveness unto others.\u00a0 If I choose not to \u201cfully\u201d and \u201ccompletely\u201d forgive myself, then I am hanging on to the past negativity deeds, actions, and failures of my life.\u00a0 Therefore my mind remains in the past, rather than moving forward to the present.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Forgiving oneself is of the utmost importance.\u00a0 If you cannot forgive your person, then how will you be capable of forgiving another.\u00a0 Forgiveness is relatable to how we interact, relate to and connect our person to others.\u00a0<\/p>\n

FORGIVENESS BENEFITS<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cLetting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:<\/p>\n

1\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Healthier relationships
\n2\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
\n3\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Less anxiety, stress and hostility
\n4\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lower blood pressure
\n5\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fewer symptoms of depression
\n6\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse\u201d (MayoClinic, 2013, Online)
\n7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If we choose to, then there is a greater probability of reuniting with the person (s) that we have held resentment towards.
\n8\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 An ability to fully focus on our minds on a positive perspective of life.
\n9\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Decrease in somatic complaints
\n10\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 An empowerment of the individual<\/p>\n

The benefits of forgiveness are limitless.\u00a0 Forgiveness allows your mind to be free of the negativity that has possessed it.\u00a0 Negativity has an ability to completely control and have power over your person.\u00a0 Such ingrained negativity can and often does manifest in our speech, actions, deeds, and reactions.\u00a0 The ingraining of negativity firmly embeds itself into our minds, rejecting the positive perspectives of our personhood.<\/p>\n

FORGIVING OTHERS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Forgiving another person does not mean that you have to forget the negative deed, action, or communication.\u00a0 If you have been harmed, you may have endured emotional, psychological or personal pain.\u00a0 When the pain heals, there may remain a visible or invisible scar that is directly related to the harm.\u00a0 While the harm may no longer exist, or the pain associated with the harm; the scar may remain.\u00a0 Scars are nothing more than a reminder, but they are not the pain or the harm itself. \u201cForgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.\u201d (MayoClinic, 2013, Online)<\/p>\n

It is the forgiveness of others that allows you to live life to its fullest potential.\u00a0 Real forgiveness allows you to focus your mind on other things.\u00a0 If you hold onto the harm, then you hold onto the past.\u00a0 It is the shifting of your mind that will transform your person.<\/p>\n

ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO FORGIVE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Encouraging others to forgive, allows another person to move beyond his\/her own negative past.\u00a0 When you forgive, you are offering yourself freedom from your past.\u00a0 When you teach others to forgive, you are helping them to find health, happiness, and wholeness.\u00a0<\/p>\n

THE FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLE OF FORGIVENESS<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d Paul Boese <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/strong>Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky calls forgiveness \u2018a shift in thinking\u2019 toward someone who has wronged you, \u2018such that your desire to harm that person has decreased and your desire to do him good (or to benefit your relationship) has increased.\u2019 Forgiveness, at a minimum, is a decision to let go of the desire for revenge and ill-will toward the person who wronged you. It may also include feelings of goodwill toward the other person. Forgiveness is also a natural resolution of the grief process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss.\u201d (PBS, 2013, Online)\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe Fundamental Principle of …(Forgiveness)<\/em> is having a spirit of unconditional love, trust, respect, dignity, caring, and hope.\u00a0 It is the knowledge that we will fail and succeed, but that our worth is not based on our failures or successes.\u00a0 For who we are, is greater than our level of obtainment or achievement, or of failure or loss.\u00a0 For who we are, is a person deserving of love, forgiveness, respect, dignity, and loyalty.\u00a0 A child that is raised with such principles will intrinsically rely upon these principles in moments of need, desperation, motivation, and for personal inspiration.\u201d (Brown, 2012, Online) <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cForgiveness is the experience of peacefulness in the present moment.\u00a0 Forgiveness does not change the past, but it changes the present.\u201d\u00a0 Frederic Luskin<\/em><\/p>\n

Forgiveness has the ability to transform our thoughts.\u00a0 It has an ability to allow us to reconnect with others and have a deeper relationship with them.\u00a0 Forgiveness cannot only have a healing affect for the individual, but its affect can go well beyond those initially involved in the forgiveness.<\/p>\n

Author<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0 Dr. Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C.<\/p>\n

Website<\/strong>:\u00a0 http:\/\/www.asadonbrown.com<\/a><\/p>\n

REFERENCES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Brown, A. D. (2012) Inspiring your child. Retrieved April 7, 2013 from http:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/blog\/?p=2380<\/a><\/p>\n

Mayo Clinic (2013) Forgiveness:\u00a0 Letting go of grudges and bitterness.\u00a0 Retrieved April 7, 2013 from <\/strong>http:\/\/www.mayoclinic.com\/health\/forgiveness\/MH00131<\/a><\/p>\n

Public Broadcasting Service, PBS (2013) Understanding forgiveness; What is forgiveness?\u00a0 How does forgiving another help us? And how can we cultivate forgiveness in our lives? Retrieved April 7, 2013 from http:\/\/www.pbs.org\/thisemotionallife\/topic\/forgiveness\/understanding-forgiveness<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cForgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. Forgiveness is good, forgiveness is necessary, forgiveness stimulates the positive perspectives of the mind.\u00a0 When we retain hate, anger, displeasure, or hostility towards another; we have allowed the negative to absorb into our mind, body, and spirit.\u00a0 It […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001014,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[820],"tags":[527,529,177,25,815,329,709,818,331,87,516,536],"class_list":["post-5518","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationshipsmarriageandthefamily","tag-acceptance","tag-approval","tag-communication","tag-counselling","tag-couples","tag-dr-asa-don-brown","tag-forgiveness","tag-individuals","tag-psychological","tag-psychotherapy","tag-relationships","tag-unconditional-love"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nForgiveness - 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