{"id":5503,"date":"2013-02-15T15:45:23","date_gmt":"2013-02-15T20:45:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=2718"},"modified":"2013-02-15T15:45:23","modified_gmt":"2013-02-15T20:45:23","slug":"increasing-intimacy-within-our-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/increasing-intimacy-within-our-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Increasing Intimacy Within Our Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/intimacy.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2722\" title=\"intimacy\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/intimacy-231x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"231\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>When we hear the word intimacy, all sorts of images maybe conjured up in our minds.\u00a0 The word intimacy may stimulate a visual image of sexual encounters, or it may project an idea of deeply fostered relationships, but the truth is, intimacy can occur on the most primitive of levels.\u00a0 Yet, the types of intimacy vary depending upon the depths of the relationship in question.<\/p>\n<p><strong>WHAT IS INTIMACY? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Intimacy<\/strong> is the ability to share an emotional and physical connection with another.\u00a0 Such connections can occur between couples, friends, families, and within a variety of relationships.\u00a0 Intimacy involves a level of cohesion that unites the very essence of our person.\u00a0 It is a connection that can occur on the very basic of human emotions, conditions, and attractiveness.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Intimacy occurs when we have a bond between ourselves and another person.\u00a0 Intimacy does not have to occur on a sexual level alone, it can occur between persons who are simply seeking to be connected.\u00a0 We can be intimate through our <em>verbal<\/em> and <em>nonverbal gestures<\/em>, <em>facial expressions<\/em>, <em>touch<\/em>, and through the <em>words<\/em> we choose to use.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Again, it is important to recognize that it can occur beyond a couple\u2019s relationship, it can occur through friendships, familial relationships and through a variety of close knit avenues and environments.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>COMMUNICATION AND INTIMACY <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A healthy level of intimacy begins with healthy communication.\u00a0\u00a0 We have all desired strong and healthy relationships.\u00a0 Rarely have I met a person, who deep down desires anything opposite than a healthy and constructive relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 As children, our communication skills are established through our familial and community environments.\u00a0 If we live in an environment of dysfunction, then our ability to communicate effectively is diminished. Effective communication begins the cycle of healthy intimacy and relationships.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>SOCIETY\u2019S TWIST<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs children, we learn to bend to others\u2019 needs and are not encouraged to ask for what we really want.\u00a0 Rather than speaking freely, we learn to hold back our truths, listening for clues about what others want to hear.\u00a0 Our real stories, with secrets both wonderful and awful, are hidden from others\u2019 judgements by years of denial.\u00a0 Healthy intimacy is impossible in such a state.\u201d (Wall, 2004, p. 41) It is this approach to relationships that we find ourselves at a roadblock.\u00a0\u00a0 We may feel unworthy of becoming the persons we would choose to be.\u00a0\u00a0 We may feel limited by societal pressures and constraints.\u00a0 Or, we may feel at odds with the ideologies, morals, and ethical parameters instilled in us during our childhood.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Gustav Jung explained that the human persona is derived from one\u2019s basic components: the <em>ego<\/em>, the <em>personal unconsciousness<\/em> and the <em>collective unconsciousness<\/em>.\u00a0 In many familial environments, the parental figureheads often construct the prime archetypes with which children will construct their overall psyche.\u00a0\u00a0 It is through our rearing as children that we model ourselves after our parents, our community leaders, and our educators.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>RELATIONSHIP INTIMACY <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Relationship intimacy occurs between two people who hunger for substance, physical contact, and an emotional connection.\u00a0\u00a0 While relationship intimacy may be desired; it often fades with scars, wounds, and relationship trials and tribulations.\u00a0\u00a0 It is through the life of the relationship that people become stagnate, stale, and disinterested.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Unfortunately, once a relationship has entered this phase, it is rare that the couple returns to more pleasant days.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019ve all heard it over and over again:\u00a0 Men and women communicate differently.\u00a0 The king of communication between the sexes, John Gray, goes so far as saying that men access love through sex, while women access sex through love or feelings.\u201d\u00a0 (Paget, 2000, p. 12) For many, the expression of intimacy is directly correlated to their sexual experience.\u00a0 However, one can be intimate without ever having physical contact or physically romantic relations.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Interestingly enough, the more intimate we are through our verbal and nonverbal gestures, facial expressions, and words; the greater the probability that our physical intimacy will increase.\u00a0 It is manner with which we behave and interact that can either ignite or deflate a relationship.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>REACHING A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INTIMACY <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Whether your are seeking intimacy through friendship, relationships, familial or other, it is important to recognize that deep levels intimacy will not occur overnight.\u00a0 It is through life\u2019s personal struggles and successes that we will reach deeper levels.\u00a0 It is through our experiences that we will become closer and it is through our closeness that we will reach a deeper level of intimacy.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>Reaching a healthy level of intimacy in any relationship involves <\/em>paying close attention to the person with whom you are communicating; offering verbal and nonverbal responses that acknowledge your recipient\u2019s communication; choosing not to be offended by his or her communication, rather recognizing his or her right to individuality; and acknowledging the person as being important to you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>_____________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<p><strong>Author<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0 Dr. Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., N.C.C.M.<\/p>\n<p><strong>REFERENCES<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Block, J. D. (2003) <em>Naked intimacy, How to increase true openness in your relationship<\/em>. New York, NY:\u00a0 The McGraw-Hill<\/p>\n<p>Hendrix, H. &amp; Hunt, H. L. (2004) <em>Receiving love, Transform your relationship by letting yourself be loved<\/em>. New York, NY: Atria Books<\/p>\n<p>Paget, L. (2000) <em>How to give her absolute pleasure, Totally explicit techniques every woman wants her man to know.<\/em> New York, NY: Random House, Inc.<\/p>\n<p>Wall, C. L. (2004) <em>The courage to trust, A guide to building deep and lasting relationships. <\/em>Oakland, CA:\u00a0 New Harbinger Publications, Inc.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When we hear the word intimacy, all sorts of images maybe conjured up in our minds.\u00a0 The word intimacy may stimulate a visual image of sexual encounters, or it may project an idea of deeply fostered relationships, but the truth is, intimacy can occur on the most primitive of levels.\u00a0 Yet, the types of intimacy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001014,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[820],"tags":[177,25,815,329,838,818,839,331,87,516,840,841,842],"class_list":["post-5503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationshipsmarriageandthefamily","tag-communication","tag-counselling","tag-couples","tag-dr-asa-don-brown","tag-facial-expressions","tag-individuals","tag-intimacy","tag-psychological","tag-psychotherapy","tag-relationships","tag-touch","tag-verbal-and-nonverbal-gestures","tag-words"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.1 - 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