{"id":5483,"date":"2012-10-24T11:22:03","date_gmt":"2012-10-24T15:22:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=2530"},"modified":"2012-10-24T11:22:03","modified_gmt":"2012-10-24T15:22:03","slug":"bullying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/bullying\/","title":{"rendered":"Bullying"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Bullying is in simple; hate or loathing of one\u2019s self or life projected upon the life of another.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>Rarely have I had a patient \/ client who bullied that felt \u201cgood\u201d about his\/her bullying.\u00a0 If so, I found that this individual had such an unawareness of his\/her own person that the \u201cgoodness\u201d being experienced was a perverted happiness rather than a real joy or adulation.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The grave effect of bullying in our youth lasts long into adulthood.\u00a0 Bullying acts as a cancer of the mind, soul, and spirit.\u00a0\u00a0 It is one of the greatest depravities of the human condition.\u00a0 Bullying corrupts not only the mind, thoughts, and spirits of its intended victims, but moreover, it has an equally dire effect on the perpetrator enacting it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Bullies are neither happy nor content with their lives.\u00a0\u00a0 Bullies are reconciled that \u201clife\u201d will not improve, thus there is an awkward sort of coexistence between the bullies and their instrument of hate.\u00a0 Bullies are most certainly victims themselves.\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

DEFINING BULLYING<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bullying is a power play of dominance.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI am stronger than you, therefore I am going to exert my power over you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I am smarter than you, therefore I am going to exert my \u2018intelligence\u2019 over you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI am your teacher, you must adhere to my authority, or I will make your life a living hell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am your mother or father, I am your commander, you must obey<\/em> my every command.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am your older brother or sister, you must do what I say, because mom or dad put me in charge.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am your classmate, if you do not help me cheat, then I will tell the teacher that you asked me for the answers to the test.\u201d<\/p>\n

A bully is any person who chooses to use his\/her personal strength, intelligence, positioning, or role as a means to intimidate and harm those that he\/she perceive as weaker or vulnerable.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cSo how do we define bullying? Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions, such as cyberbullying\u2014or using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to harass.\u201d (Anderson, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n

\u201cBullying can include<\/em>:<\/p>\n

(a) Name calling, being sarcastic and spreading hurtful rumours;<\/p>\n

(b) Assault or physical violence – punching, kicking, pushing are common;<\/p>\n

(c) Threats, insults and intimidation;<\/p>\n

(d) Spitting;<\/p>\n

(e) Incitement of others to harass and intimidate;<\/p>\n

(f) Destruction or taking property without permission;<\/p>\n

(g) Extortion or undue pressure;<\/p>\n

(h) Emotional aggression like tormenting and excluding people;<\/p>\n

(i) Racial harassment, taunts, graffiti and gestures;<\/p>\n

(j) Sexual aggression or harassment, unwanted physical contact or comments;<\/p>\n

(k) Use of technology to spread gossip, intimidate or threaten, such as text or<\/p>\n

mobile messages and internet messages boards;<\/p>\n

(l) Comments, threats or actions relating to people’s disability;<\/p>\n

(m) Comments, threats or actions relating to people’s sexual orientation;<\/p>\n

(n)\u00a0\u00a0 Comments, threats or actions relating to a child’s \u201clooked after\u201d status.<\/p>\n

Staff and children are capable of bullying and of being bullied<\/em>.\u201d (LCC, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n

RECENT CASES <\/strong><\/p>\n

Canada has had some recent high profile cases that have reached both national and international news.\u00a0 The most recent case of bullying involved a 15-year old young lady named Amanda Todd.\u00a0 Amanda Todd\u2019s case became public following her plea for help through a Youtube video. Unfortunately Amanda committed suicide due to being bullied.<\/p>\n

An American case involving Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi an 18-year old university student, committed suicide after secretly being filmed by his roommate Dharun Favi and a classmate Molly Weihaving having a sexual encounter with another male.\u00a0 According to media reports Dharun Favi was sentenced to 30 days in jail. While Molly Wei was charged with invasion of privacy, agreeing to 300 hours of community service.\u00a0 Sadly, all three of these students lose.\u00a0 Tyler lost his youth; while Dharun Favi and Molly Wei are marred for life by this egregious act.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Amanda and Tyler\u2019s heart shattering stories are reflective of many others throughout Canada and the global community.\u00a0\u00a0 Unfortunately for Amanda and Tyler, we as a society are too late, and we are to blame for creating this vicious cycle of hate.<\/p>\n

IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD<\/strong><\/p>\n

As a global community, we must act proactively to end the violence against all persons.\u00a0 The internet has not only forced our planet to begin thinking as a larger community, but it has offered the opportunists a platform to spread their messages of hate, violence, and intolerance.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Protecting Children<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Be aware of your child\u2019s internet and life activities.<\/li>\n
  2. Communicate daily with your child.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  3. Be certain that your child is aware that they can discuss any <\/em>and all<\/em> matters with you.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  4. Do not berate, scold or criticize your child when they are sharing their heart and conscience.<\/li>\n
  5. Create a continuous flow of communication.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  6. When discipling your child, discuss the why\u2019s<\/em> and how comes<\/em> of the discipline, but do not use bullying to coerce your child into obedience.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  7. Request support from your child\u2019s school, teachers, principals, advisors, school counselors, and school psychologists.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  8. If capable, hire a professional (counsellor, psychotherapist, psychologist) to help you and your child to engage about the issues troubling them.<\/li>\n
  9. Do not be afraid to communicate with your child.<\/li>\n
  10. Remind your child daily of their goodness, worth, and personal value.<\/li>\n
  11. Have a policy of open and frank communication between you and your child.<\/li>\n
  12. \u00a0Employ an environment of safety, care, and unconditional acceptance between you and your child.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u201cAll students are harmed by being in a school environment where discriminatory behavior is allowed, not just those students who are singled out for such harassment and victimization.\u201d\u00a0 (Wieland, 2007, p. 241)\u00a0 Children should always be provided an environment of unconditional love, acceptance, and approval.\u00a0 Remember, what occurs in one\u2019s childhood is often indicative of things to come.\u00a0\u00a0 If we avoid addressing messages of hate and abuse in childhood, then there is little deterrence for children from amplifying the same messages of hate and abuse in their adulthood.<\/p>\n

    Helping your children to recognize the verbal and nonverbal messages is critical for combating the hate and abuse. \u00a0Be certain to teach your children to recognize the key features of hateful and violent messages<\/em>; whether they are communicated verbally or nonverbally; casted disparagingly through stereotypes, stigmas, guilt, or shame; it is essential to know and recognize when others are offering us platters of hate.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Did you know that \u201cmore than 80% of students report being the victim of bullying at school.\u00a0 Students forced into competition and social interactions tend to polarize into groups. Grouping can lead to feelings of acceptance or non-acceptance, and breed bullying behavior. Schools which have no clear definition, policy and plan for bullies tend to contribute to the problem.\u201d (Gonzales, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n

    REINFORCING YOUR CHILD\u2019S INNER CONFIDENCE AND SECURITY<\/strong><\/p>\n

    As parents or guardians, teachers or faculty, or a fellow classmate always be vigilant to respond in a positive and supportive manner.\u00a0 Do not segregate the individual bullying or being bullied; rather try to gain insight into the catalyst precipitating the bullying behavior.\u00a0 \u201cIf bullying is witnessed, it should be openly challenged. The nature of the bullying should be ascertained and the child’s safety considered at all times.\u201d (LCC, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n

    Bullies should be taught more constructive ways to vent their anger, frustrations, jealousy, envy, or personal conflicts with another.\u00a0\u00a0 The bully should not be excluded or ostracized from a group.\u00a0 Bullies are often seeking to belong and fit in.\u00a0 The bully\u2019s positive nature and attributes should be reinforced. \u00a0Likewise, the individual being bullied should also be provided a supportive and positively influential environment.\u00a0\u00a0 Ostracizing an individual creates a feeling of being persecuted, ridiculed, set apart, and banished from the \u201cothers.\u201d\u00a0 Do not forget that bullies are often acting out, seeking some form of attention.\u00a0\u00a0 Seek to help the bully, rather than segregating the individual.\u00a0\u00a0 Ostracizing an individual will only amplify the individual\u2019s internal negativity.\u00a0 It is important to recognize that the act of bullying should not go unpunished, but do it in a grace and peace oriented manner.\u00a0\u00a0 Everyone deserves to feel love, supported, approved, and accepted.<\/p>\n

    We must be hyper-vigilant when training our children.\u00a0 As parents and teachers, we should keep a watchful eye out for danger and difficult times.\u00a0 It should be expected that teachers and parents use due diligence to protect all<\/em> children.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Author<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0 Dr. Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C.<\/p>\n

    REFERENCES<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Anderson, N. (2012) This is psychology:\u00a0 Bullying<\/em>.\u00a0 Retrieved October 16, 2012 from http:\/\/www.apa.org\/news\/press\/video\/this-is-psychology\/bullying.aspx<\/a>f<\/p>\n

    Barnes, A. & Ephross, P. H. (2012) The impact of hate violence on victims, Emotional and behavioral responses to attacks.\u00a0 <\/em>Retrieved September 22, 2012 from http:\/\/www.socialworkers.org\/pressroom\/events\/911\/barnes.asp<\/a><\/p>\n

    Common Sense Media (2012) Lesson: Breaking down hate speech.<\/em> Retrieved September 22, 2012 from http:\/\/www.commonsensemedia.org\/educators\/lesson\/breaking-down-hate-speech-11-12<\/a><\/p>\n

    Gonzales, A. (2012) What causes bullies and bully behavior?\u00a0\u00a0 Retrieved October 16, 2012 from http:\/\/www.catholicdos.org\/file\/WhatCausesBulliesPeggy5-2011.pdf<\/a><\/p>\n

    \u00a0Lancashire County Council (2012) Countering bullying guidance\u00a0 Retrieved October 16, 2012 from http:\/\/www.lancashire.gov.uk\/corporate\/web\/viewdoc.asp?id=15712<\/a><\/p>\n

    Wieland, J. (2007) Peer-on-Peer hate crime and hate-motivated incidents involving children in California\u2019s public schools:\u00a0 Contemporary issues in prevalence, response and prevention.\u00a0 UC Davis Journal of Juvenile Law & Policy 11(2), 235-269<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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