{"id":5464,"date":"2012-08-17T13:49:10","date_gmt":"2012-08-17T17:49:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=2349"},"modified":"2012-08-17T13:49:10","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T17:49:10","slug":"love-what-is-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/love-what-is-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Love, What is Love?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Asa-and-Tracy-2011.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2352\" title=\"Asa and Tracy 2011\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Asa-and-Tracy-2011-206x300.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"206\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>\u201cTrue love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ William Goldman, <em>The Princess Bride <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em>First of all, I am a hopeless romantic.\u00a0\u00a0 On August 16, 2012, I will have the pleasure of celebrating my 15th wedding anniversary to my beautiful bride, my vulpine lover, my best friend, and the mother of my precocious, charming, and sometimes mischievous children.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>During the past 15 years, I have spent countless days gaining new insights into this person that I have come to know as my wife.\u00a0 Do not get me wrong, we have had our emotional upheavals and times of trials and tribulations, but overall, my wife is unmistakably my best-friend.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>How do we translate the emotional maturity that develops through our relationship unto the lives of our own children?\u00a0 Is it possible?\u00a0 Is it naive to think that we can prove positive role models for our own children? Furthermore, is it showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgement to\u00a0 think, or even consider, that \u201cI,\u201d <strong>Dr<\/strong>. Asa Don Brown can positively influence the role of a father and husband?\u00a0 Of course, as a doctor of psychology,\u00a0 I should be capable of instilling the utmost respect of self, personhood, values, ethics, and morals.\u00a0 <em>Please note<\/em>, that I am being sarcastic.\u00a0 I am not looking to mock nor convey contempt, rather to express that \u201cI too\u201d am concerned about the influence that I may have upon the precious minds and lives of my remarkable children.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I value the lives of my children over life itself.\u00a0 Thus, how do I, as a father positively influence the direction with which my children choose a mate?\u00a0 I know it is not popular to expose ourselves as practitioners, but I would be regretful for not expressing my own personal concern about the precious lives that have been granted unto me.\u00a0\u00a0 For I am a mere teacher in their lives, not a commander.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>TEACHING IS NOT COMMANDING<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As a child, and especially within our youth, we are not seeking the influence of a dictator, a director, a commander, or an authoritarian instructor; rather, we are simply looking for the respect and positive guidance of an unconditionally loving and accepting parent.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Parents are not perfect.\u00a0 Parents make mistakes.\u00a0 Nor are spouses perfect, and believe me, we do make our share of mistakes.\u00a0 Fortunately, mistakes are not roadblocks preventing us from possibility or growth, rather, they are imploring us to leap this hurdle unto greater maturity and self-awareness.\u00a0 Moreover, even the greatest of obstacles can be overcome.<\/p>\n<p>As parents, those who succeed are often the ones who are willing to learn.\u00a0 Not unlike the best schoolroom teachers, parents should constantly be seeking guidance, instruction, and wisdom.\u00a0\u00a0 We are not lone vessels upon the sea, rather we are a community capable of sharing and learning from one another.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING A GOOD FATHER <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It is easy to be a bad parent.\u00a0 It is a mere challenge to prove a positive influence on the life of a child.\u00a0 As a father, I have an obligation, a fiduciary duty to positively guide, influence, and protect my children.\u00a0\u00a0 As a father, I will be the only guide that offers such intimate male instruction.\u00a0\u00a0 If I, Asa Don Brown influence my children in a negative way, then I will assuredly teach my children to expect the same throughout their precious lives.\u00a0 Whereas, if I, Asa Don Brown make a conscience decision to be a positive influence, then I can hope for the best outcome in the lives of my children.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The importance of being a good parent allows for error.\u00a0 Why are we so concerned about making mistakes?\u00a0 Why are we afraid of failure?\u00a0 If I fail, then I have a guidepost, indicating the areas with which I can improve. Failure has become the barometer of negativity, rather than a potential of opportunity.\u00a0 Without failure, we could not relish in the achievement of our successes.\u00a0 As a good parent, we should teach our children that failure is an opportunity for improvement and growth, rather than a blockade deterring us from our greatest potential.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING A GOOD HUSBAND <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The importance of being a good husband, is that I am teaching my daughters what to expect or not expect from their future spouses.\u00a0 If I am in a loveless or disastrous marriage, then I am teaching my children that they too should expect nothing less.\u00a0 Whereas, if I am in a marriage filled with unconditional respect, dignity, love and humility, then I am teaching my children to expect more.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLE OF BEING A GOOD PARENT AND SPOUSE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As a husband, as well as a parent, I should carry the <em>Olympic Spirit <\/em>within my being.\u00a0 What does it mean to carry the <em>Olympic Spirit<\/em> as a father or a husband? Recently, I had an opportunity to watch our global community band together, playing extraordinary games, accomplishing feats of\u00a0 incredible courage, skill and strength.\u00a0 On the official website for the Olympic Movement (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.olympic.org\/\">http:\/\/www.olympic.org<\/a>\/) they describe a number of Fundamental Principles of Olympism.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I cannot offer the entire list, however I would like to transform the 1st Principle as being the Fundamental Principle of Being a Good Parent and Spouse.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOlympism (<em>Parenting and Marriage<\/em>) is a philosophy of life, exalting and combining in a balanced whole the qualities of body, will and mind. Blending sport (<em>Parenting and Marriage<\/em>) with culture and education, Olympism (<em>Parenting and Marriage<\/em>) seeks to create a way of life based on the joy of effort, the educational value of good example, social responsibility and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles.\u201d (IOC, 2012, Online)<\/p>\n<p>For me, <em>The Fundamental Principle of Being a Good Parent and Spouse<\/em>, is having an internal ability of recognizing that our weakness and strengths are mere landmarks in life, not an indicator of our personality or worth.\u00a0 Furthermore, <em>The Fundamental Principle of Being a Good Parent and Spouse<\/em>, is having a spirit of unconditional love, trust, respect, dignity, caring, and hope.\u00a0 It is the knowledge that we will fail and succeed, but that our worth is not based on our failures or successes.\u00a0 For who we are, is greater than our level of obtainment or achievement, or of failure or loss.\u00a0 For who we are is a person deserving of love, forgiveness, respect, dignity, and loyalty.\u00a0\u00a0 If I, establish these principles in my home, then I have a chance to prove a positive role in the life of my children.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Author<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0 Dr. Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cTrue love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~ William Goldman, The Princess Bride \u00a0First of all, I am a hopeless romantic.\u00a0\u00a0 On August 16, 2012, I will have the pleasure of celebrating my 15th wedding anniversary to my beautiful bride, my vulpine lover, my best friend, and the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001014,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[527,318,529,168,25,329,55,356,708,735,709,642,656,331,87,659,717,718,719],"class_list":["post-5464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parentingchildrenandtheclassroom","tag-acceptance","tag-anxiety","tag-approval","tag-children","tag-counselling","tag-dr-asa-don-brown","tag-empowerment","tag-encouragement","tag-establishing-effective-relationships","tag-fathers-perspective","tag-forgiveness","tag-love","tag-negative-effects","tag-psychological","tag-psychotherapy","tag-social-isolation","tag-unconditional-acceptance","tag-unconditional-approval","tag-unconditional-spirit"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Love, What is Love? 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