I seem to have lost track of my ongoing writing.\u00a0 My last entry illustrated the use of re-framing in helping a client set goals.\u00a0 There is a science, or perhaps an art to taking undesirable events and reframing them into something useable.\u00a0 It is more than just looking on the bright side \u2013 but actually changing the content\/tone\/perceived intent of the event into terms that are workable for the client and, perhaps, the therapist.<\/p>\n
\u00a0I once had a client tell me \u2013 in reference to his over-zealous parenting approach \u2013 that parenting is just like \u201cbreaking a horse.\u201d\u00a0 Even though I am an Alberta boy, I knew nothing about breaking a horse and proceeded to tell this parent so.\u00a0 I told him that he might as well be talking about training a dolphin as I don\u2019t know very much about that either.\u00a0 What I did know was that when training dolphins, the trainers don\u2019t beat, scold, timeout, or withdraw any form of affection for not performing.\u00a0 In fact, according to my rudimentary knowledge, the trainer simply rewards the dolphin with a treat for performing and step toward the desired outcome.\u00a0 For example, if the dolphin were to touch it\u2019s nose on a hoop \u2013 paired with a signal, it would get a treat.\u00a0 Once that was successful, the signal would be given and the hoop raised and so on until the dolphin is jumping out of the water through the hoop to the signal.\u00a0 In this case, the reward is a fish.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0When dealing with troublesome behaviour of youth, it is rather unproductive to focus all of your energy on pointing out what the youth is doing wrong \u2013 believe me when I say they already know.\u00a0 In fact, primarily all it does is set up a division between parent and youth.\u00a0 Set a goal \u2013 decide the painfully smallest steps in reaching that goal and focus your efforts on rewarding the completion of the small steps.\u00a0 If you\u2019re having trouble getting your youth to attend school, go for a drive or a walk by the school, and if they happen to look at the school while you are going past, throw them a fish (figuratively speaking).\u00a0 When they take a step toward the school, throw them a fish.\u00a0 However, I wouldn\u2019t recommend using a fish all the time.\u00a0 A \u201cgood job\u201d and a pat on the back go a long way \u2013 especially if most of your previous interactions have been fighting over the task.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I seem to have lost track of my ongoing writing.\u00a0 My last entry illustrated the use of re-framing in helping a client set goals.\u00a0 There is a science, or perhaps an art to taking undesirable events and reframing them into something useable.\u00a0 It is more than just looking on the bright side \u2013 but actually […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001005,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[51,270,271],"class_list":["post-5315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-counsellingandpsychotherapyincanada","tag-parenting","tag-reframing","tag-youth"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n