{"id":5275,"date":"2011-04-15T15:16:41","date_gmt":"2011-04-15T19:16:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=261"},"modified":"2011-04-15T15:16:41","modified_gmt":"2011-04-15T19:16:41","slug":"childrens-self-esteem-and-parental-influence-part-one-of-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/childrens-self-esteem-and-parental-influence-part-one-of-three\/","title":{"rendered":"Children\u2019s Self-Esteem and Parental Influence (Part One of Three)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Developing children\u2019s self-esteem begins with the life of the parents.\u00a0 What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the ability to be assured of one\u2019s own abilities, talents, worth, value, as well as, having personal acceptance, approval and respect for oneself.<\/p>\n

Parents\u2019 insecurities are frequently injected into the life of their children; therefore, becoming the children\u2019s own set of insecurities. Parents\u2019 vulnerabilities commonly become those of their children.\u00a0\u00a0 Parents\u2019 strengths and optimism can be an asset for their children. Ultimately, children are a mirrored reflection of the life lived by their parents.\u00a0 If parents\u2019 have a particular set of perceived vulnerabilities, limitations, negative self-talk, weaknesses, or negative habitual acts, then the propensity that their children will develop such negative behaviors are increased.\u00a0 Likewise, if parents have developed positive habits, self-talk, and perceivable strengths; their children are placed in an advantageous position to develop a positive self-esteem.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

HOW DO WE ESTABLISH POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM IN CHILDREN?<\/p>\n

It begins with the parents, and those who are in direct daily contact with the children (i.e. teachers, coaches). If parents declare their love for their children, but look at themselves with disdain, then the children will eventually begin to adapt the negative self-talk of the parents.\u00a0 Parents are the gatekeepers of the negative and positive self-talk. After all, children are not born with negative or positive self-talk, it is formed through their primitive developmental years and is commonly a reflection of their interaction with their parents. Parents will only exemplify what they personally know to be true in their own life.\u00a0 For if parents reject their own goodness, then their children are surely going to develop a similar set of attitudes about themselves.<\/p>\n

PARENTAL MODELING<\/p>\n

Parental modeling is as important as any words that can be spoken. Therefore, it begins with positive modeling behaviors and positive self-talk. \u201cModeling this new way of thinking is a very effective way of encouraging your child to use it.\u201d (Manassis, 1996, p. 47) Again, children adapt the behaviors, attitudes, percepts, and self-talk that we instill in them. \u201cMany experienced parents have noted, children won\u2019t always do as you say but usually do as you do.\u201d (Manassis, 1996, p. 47)<\/p>\n

Parents who have developed a belief system that equate the worth of their person to their behaviors, have a skewed view of themselves. \u201cAffirming your worth is no easy task. Right now you believe that your worth depends on your behavior.\u201d (McKay and Fanning, 2000, p. 37) Who we are, the worth of our being, has nothing to do with the behaviors, attitudes, or percepts that create our image. After all, our behaviors, attitudes, and percepts most commonly reflect how we see ourselves. Whereas, our worth should rely upon the unconditional understanding that whatever we do, and who we are, as people; we are worthy of unconditional acceptance, approval, and love.<\/p>\n

REFERENCES<\/p>\n

Canadian Mental Health Association (2011) Children and self-esteem<\/em>. Retrieved April 9, 2011, http:\/\/www.cmha.ca\/bins\/content_page.asp?cid=2-29-68<\/a><\/p>\n

Manassis, K. (1996) Keys to parenting your anxious child<\/em>. Hauppague, New York:\u00a0 Barron\u2019s Educational Series, Inc.<\/p>\n

McKay, M., Fanning, P. (2000) Self-Esteem third edition, A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving and maintaining your self-esteem<\/em>. Oakland, California:\u00a0 New Harbinger Publications, Inc.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Developing children\u2019s self-esteem begins with the life of the parents.\u00a0 What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the ability to be assured of one\u2019s own abilities, talents, worth, value, as well as, having personal acceptance, approval and respect for oneself. Parents\u2019 insecurities are frequently injected into the life of their children; therefore, becoming the children\u2019s own set […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001014,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[153,154,155],"class_list":["post-5275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parentingchildrenandtheclassroom","tag-parental-influence","tag-parental-modeling","tag-self-esteem"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nChildren\u2019s Self-Esteem and Parental Influence (Part One of Three) - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/childrens-self-esteem-and-parental-influence-part-one-of-three\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Children\u2019s Self-Esteem and Parental Influence (Part One of Three) - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Developing children\u2019s self-esteem begins with the life of the parents.\u00a0 What is self-esteem? 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