{"id":44595,"date":"2023-04-14T15:24:12","date_gmt":"2023-04-14T19:24:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/?p=44595"},"modified":"2023-04-14T15:24:13","modified_gmt":"2023-04-14T19:24:13","slug":"sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Sometimes I Just Want to Cry Out"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"section  section--img \">\n  <div class=\"wrapper\">\n    <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\" width=\"\" height=\"\" alt=\"\">\n  <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza-1024x375.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-44596\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza-1024x375.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza-300x110.png 300w, https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza-768x281.png 768w, https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza-1536x562.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza.png 1640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"section section--text-block\">\n  <div class=\"wrapper\">\n    <p style=\"text-align: left\">The pit in her stomach began to appear April 2, 2020.\u00a0 She spoke of all that she was tending to.\u00a0 The stress of preparation and anticipation anxiety of the \u2018death do they part\u2019.\u00a0 What is that pit saying, trying to say, I wondered.\u00a0 I wondered if she had been listening to her body. \u00a0I guess maybe in her own way. My wondering out loud became her own wondering check-in loop.\u00a0 Trying to put words to the pit.\u00a0 Months later when she returned, the pit had become something more real for her when it manifested as an acid reflex.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\u201c<em>Sometimes I want to just cry out,\u201d<\/em> she had pumped her arms anxiously in the moment, to show me.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t triumph, I saw the human in her.\u00a0 There was the \u2018<em>what will I do?\u00a0 How will I live without him?<\/em> The summer and fall came and went.\u00a0 It was nice to hear from her again.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\u00ab\u00a0<em>I have heard that yogis can control their heart rate and blood pressure. It feels like I can feel the acid swelling within.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 What the yogis do is like biofeedback.\u00a0 It is said in yogic terms, control your breath, live life with full awareness agency.\u00a0 We can all practice that feedbacking awareness.\u00a0 Imagine that you offer a gentle rub to the gurgling acid just as it might seem to be popping the herniated membrane.\u00a0 It might be calming.\u00a0 She nodded, \u201c<em>but who really knows\u201d.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Who really knows.\u00a0 She was fascinated and importantly, all caught up on the possible research on his behalf, including a second opinion with one of the leading oncologists in the field, so why not turn to the acid reflux pit in her stomach and hear what it is saying!\u00a0 There\u2019d be time for her.\u00a0 Not in the final sense, just in the sense, there wasn\u2019t anything else she could do!\u00a0 She was grateful that their lives had been as normal as they had been.\u00a0 She\u2019d been able to do all that keeps her happy, while looking after him.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Now, the eve of a trip back home, not knowing what it might hold, he was losing weight, he had lost a lot of weight and we sat in silence a moment and I think, I sighed.\u00a0 She took the cue.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\u201c<em>The pit in my stomach is not so much the \u2018this is getting to me\u2019\u201d<\/em> as it is \u2018how will I do? and how will life be on her own?\u2019.\u00a0 It could be an experiment reading her body signs.\u00a0 She is seeing that engaging a mind-body dialogue and awareness could be helpful towards self-knowledge.\u00a0 She could count her blessings.\u00a0 She could feel a terror.\u00a0 The arms pumped in the air again.\u00a0 This time there was an inaudible shrieking.<\/p>\n  <\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1001030,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[53,1569,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-careercounselling","category-counselling","category-counsellingandpsychotherapyincanada"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Sometimes I Just Want to Cry Out - L&#039;Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sometimes I Just Want to Cry Out - L&#039;Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"L&#039;Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-04-14T19:24:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-04-14T19:24:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/CC_Barry-DSouza-1024x375.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Barry D&#039;Souza\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Barry D&#039;Souza\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Barry D'Souza\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3561ea2cc902a15bf05f89247ec593f3\"},\"headline\":\"Sometimes I Just Want to Cry Out\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-04-14T19:24:12+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-04-14T19:24:13+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":7,\"commentCount\":2,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/sometimes-i-just-want-to-cry-out\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/CC_Barry-DSouza-1024x375.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Career Counselling\",\"Counselling\",\"Counselling &amp; 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