{"id":4165,"date":"2015-05-13T12:47:50","date_gmt":"2015-05-13T16:47:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ccpa.scottbuckingham.ca\/blog\/?p=4165"},"modified":"2015-05-13T12:47:50","modified_gmt":"2015-05-13T16:47:50","slug":"adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/","title":{"rendered":"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence"},"content":{"rendered":"

This blog post on bullying has to do with the short-term effects that bullying has on the victims while under the bully’s influence. \u00a0The points I will be explaining are taken from Marie-France Hirigoyen’s book “Le harc\u00e8lement moral: la violence perverse au quotidien”. \u00a0Although the points are mainly hers, I will be explaining them in my own words. The following points are tell-tale signs that we, counsellors, may have a victim of bullying sitting in front of us.<\/p>\n

Standing Down:<\/strong> Victims of bullying generally stand down out of fear of undesired consequences: retaliation, break up, guilt-trip, humiliation, loss, etc.\u00a0 The bully will use this fear as leverage, thus mentally paralyzing his victim.<\/p>\n

Confusion:<\/strong> \u00a0Most of the bullying is passive-aggressive and ambiguous at the onset, which leaves room to doubt the aggressive nature of the actions committed or the wo\"alone<\/a>rds spoken.\u00a0 As a result of the confusion, it is not uncommon over time for the individual to experience poor concentration, frequent loss of train of thought, delayed reactions, reduced ability to perform complex intellectual activities, etc.<\/p>\n

Self-doubt:<\/strong>\u00a0 The bully sees to it that the victim think that he is guilty about what happens and yet feel powerless to do anything about it.\u00a0 Self-doubt in the face of the violence suffered creates paralyzing confusion. As the victim becomes defenseless, he also becomes the scapegoat upon whom the aggressor puts all of his own insecurities, faults, flaws, etc\u2026
\n<\/p>\n

Stress:<\/strong>\u00a0 The imminent and ambiguous nature of the bully\u2019s violence is a great source of stress.\u00a0 Being able to identify the cause of your stress confines the stress to specific people, places, etc. \u00a0Not being able to identify it makes everything and everyone in your life a suspect, even yourself. This, in turn, can fuel the self-doubt.<\/p>\n

Fear:<\/strong>\u00a0 In response to the fear of being hurt again, the victim has two choices: to be submissive so as to avoid triggering the wrath of the bully or to stand up to him and draw the line.\u00a0 Both options fuel the bully\u2019s wrath: submission speaks of meekness and gentleness, thus bringing to the forefront the bully\u2019s inability to manage his own insecurities, whereas drawing the line draws further violence because the bully does not want to lose his scapegoat.<\/p>\n

Isolation:<\/strong>\u00a0 The surroundings play a big role in the bullying dynamic.\u00a0 Observers who pick up on what\u2019s happening usually avoid openly defending the victim out of fear that they will become a new target.\u00a0 To both the bully and the victim, the passivity is easily interpreted as approval.\u00a0 The bully feels supported and the victim feels isolated from any support.\u00a0 Fear fuels the instinct to withdraw and become isolated.<\/p>\n

\n

Hirigoyen, M.-F.; Le harc\u00e8lement moral\u00a0: la violence perverse au quotidien<\/em>; \u00c9ditions La D\u00e9couverte et Syros, Paris, 1998; ISBN\u00a0:978-2-266-22277-8<\/p>\n

https:\/\/lighthousecounselling.wordpress.com\/2014\/09\/02\/under-the-bullys-influence\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This blog post on bullying has to do with the short-term effects that bullying has on the victims while under the bully’s influence. \u00a0The points I will be explaining are taken from Marie-France Hirigoyen’s book “Le harc\u00e8lement moral: la violence perverse au quotidien”. \u00a0Although the points are mainly hers, I will be explaining them in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001034,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,820],"tags":[219,1202,25,745,1203,1153,1154,87,1204,119,1205],"class_list":["post-4165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parentingchildrenandtheclassroom","category-relationshipsmarriageandthefamily","tag-bullying","tag-confusion","tag-counselling","tag-fear","tag-isolation","tag-jonathan-delisle","tag-marie-france-hirigoyen","tag-psychotherapy","tag-self-doubt","tag-stress","tag-victim"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAdult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This blog post on bullying has to do with the short-term effects that bullying has on the victims while under the bully’s influence. \u00a0The points I will be explaining are taken from Marie-France Hirigoyen’s book “Le harc\u00e8lement moral: la violence perverse au quotidien”. \u00a0Although the points are mainly hers, I will be explaining them in […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-05-13T16:47:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alone-ball-300x152.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jonathan Delisle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jonathan Delisle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Jonathan Delisle\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c18a2a1f8409ef96356f29a5d5d7c13c\"},\"headline\":\"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-13T16:47:50+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":485,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"bullying\",\"confusion\",\"counselling\",\"fear\",\"isolation\",\"Jonathan Delisle\",\"Marie-France Hirigoyen\",\"psychotherapy\",\"self-doubt\",\"stress\",\"victim\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting, Children and the Classroom\",\"Relationships, Marriage, and the Family\"],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/\",\"name\":\"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-13T16:47:50+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c18a2a1f8409ef96356f29a5d5d7c13c\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/fr\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/\",\"name\":\"L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c18a2a1f8409ef96356f29a5d5d7c13c\",\"name\":\"Jonathan Delisle\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\\\/fr\\\/author\\\/jdelisle2xnhzgver4p20ib\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/","og_locale":"fr_FR","og_type":"article","og_title":"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie","og_description":"This blog post on bullying has to do with the short-term effects that bullying has on the victims while under the bully’s influence. \u00a0The points I will be explaining are taken from Marie-France Hirigoyen’s book “Le harc\u00e8lement moral: la violence perverse au quotidien”. \u00a0Although the points are mainly hers, I will be explaining them in […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/","og_site_name":"L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie","article_published_time":"2015-05-13T16:47:50+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alone-ball-300x152.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Jonathan Delisle","twitter_misc":{"\u00c9crit par":"Jonathan Delisle","Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/"},"author":{"name":"Jonathan Delisle","@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/#\/schema\/person\/c18a2a1f8409ef96356f29a5d5d7c13c"},"headline":"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence","datePublished":"2015-05-13T16:47:50+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/"},"wordCount":485,"commentCount":0,"keywords":["bullying","confusion","counselling","fear","isolation","Jonathan Delisle","Marie-France Hirigoyen","psychotherapy","self-doubt","stress","victim"],"articleSection":["Parenting, Children and the Classroom","Relationships, Marriage, and the Family"],"inLanguage":"fr-FR","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/","name":"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence - L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-05-13T16:47:50+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/#\/schema\/person\/c18a2a1f8409ef96356f29a5d5d7c13c"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"fr-FR","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/adult-bullying-under-the-bullys-influence\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Adult Bullying: Under the Bully\u2019s Influence"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/","name":"L'Association canadienne de counseling et de psychoth\u00e9rapie","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"fr-FR"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/#\/schema\/person\/c18a2a1f8409ef96356f29a5d5d7c13c","name":"Jonathan Delisle","url":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/author\/jdelisle2xnhzgver4p20ib\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4165","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1001034"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4165"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4165\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ccpa-accp.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}