Author Archives: Jamie Dovedoff

Inspiring Motivation For Career Growth/Change

Posted by: Jamie Dovedoff on août 23, 2016 11:22 am
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ChangeisprocessIf you ask someone if they like their job, truthfully of untruthfully the majority of the time they are going to say they love or like their position. But just how often are we actually being truthful? Where my parents have stayed in the same career their entire work lives, I have changed careers and jobs frequently throughout my relatively short time in my work because I was bored and needed something new to inspire me. However, I know many people (professionally and personally) who have stayed so long in an occupation they despise, that they have lost touch with what they are motivated to spend 40 hours/week and 52 weeks/year doing. They go to work for the paycheck and hate every minute of it!

I participated in a workshop with Mr. Michael Kerr in June 2016 on creating inspiring workplaces/cultures and he addressed the topic of the “Six Powerful P’s of Motivation and Engagement”. Though his lecture was on workplaces, these concepts are also applicable to the individual and may be particularly important to our clients (or even ourselves) who are so dissatisfied with their career that this dissatisfaction has crept into their personal lives, perhaps even in the form of mental illness.

1) Passion: The destination. If they could have any position, what would it be? Finding passion may take some real digging and involves exploring core belief systems to determine what it is that your client is truly driven by, what do they ultimately want in a job?

2) Purpose:  If passion is the destination, purpose is the journey toward that destination. The purpose is building the pathway towards their passion. The tasks they complete and the challenges they maneuver to “follow the yellow brick road” to their purpose.

3) Progress: Achievement. This concept involves creating measurable short term goals so that they can acknowledge the actions they have taken toward reaching their passion. Acknowledging their achievements, creates motivation to continue on the purpose/journey toward the purpose/destination.

4) Pride: The engine. Pride is an intrinsic motivator which fuels the journey and keeps your client’s moving along their path towards their purpose.

5) Play: This adventure should be fun!!!Any change throws the equilibrium off balance which is not always fun and can be downright stressful. However, when your client is working towards their passion, they should be enjoying the path to get there. If they aren’t, perhaps they haven’t dug deep enough into their core beliefs to find their true driving force.

6) Personal: To cultivate daily motivation to make changes in their life, the journey should be theirs and theirs alone. Not a journey they “should” take but one they have chosen to take. If they “own” the journey, their motivation will continue despite being met with challenges/obstacles along the way.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

Effectively communicating in your personal life

Posted by: Jamie Dovedoff on mai 5, 2016 12:00 pm
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communicationAs counsellors we aim to minimize the amount of emotional harm a client is experiencing or inflicting on themselves through teaching and modeling effective communication, expressing compassion and patience. But what about our own conditioned human response and how we communicate with ourselves or others in our personal life?

I recently read a book by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg – Nonviolent Communication: A language of life. He outlined to communicate nonviolently is a process of communicating compassionately with both yourself and others. Dr. Rosenberg outlined 4 steps in the process of “compassionate communication”:

1) Observations – the actions we observe that affect our well being

To make honest observations about the actions which impact our well being we must be willing to observe without evaluation.  In other words, we acknowledge a particular action without judgment as we would if we were observing the action (s) of our client.

2) Feelings – how we feel in relation to what we observe

Though it may be easier said than done, we must be willing to identify the feeling(s) associated with the action (s) we observed in ourselves/others that negatively impacted our well being. Dr. Rosenberg encourages the individual to distinguish feelings from thoughts (i.e. I am disappointed in my performance versus I am a failure); distinguish between what we feel and what we think we are (i.e. I am sad my client has decided not to continue to see me versus I am a terrible counselor) and; distinguish between what we feel and how we think others react or behave toward us (i.e. I am lonely versus I feel like you abandoned me).

3) Needs – identifying the needs, values and desires that create our feelings

In this step of the process, we take responsibility for our feelings versus blaming others for how we feel. Instead of using judgments, criticism, diagnoses, and interpretations as to the reason our needs are not being met, we can choose to take ‘emotional responsibility’ for our actions.

4) Requests – the actions we request in order to enrich our lives

The final step is to be open to asking for what it is we want. This request should come without a demand and be clear and specific. The intent is not to force someone to behave in a certain way but to request an action if the person is willing to do so without guilt or feeling like they “have to”.

In summary, to promote compassionate understanding and communication within our personal lives and, most importantly, with ourselves: take ownership; be willing to be open & honest and; be receptive.




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA

The elusive work/life (self-care) balance phenomenon for the self-employed professional

Posted by: Jamie Dovedoff on mars 7, 2016 12:31 pm
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stacked-stones-664928_1920For the vast majority of us, work is life so I prefer to think of this concept not as work/life balance but rather work/self-care balance. The elusive phenomenon where you reach and maintain that vacation-induced “Zen” Monday to Friday.

It seems we are often plagued with the seemingly impossible notion of establishing a consistent work flow that always seems to be in constant flux between too busy or too slow (with not nearly the same amount of time spent at that “just right” pace) and managing our self-care needs. How much is too much to take on? It’s easy to say “yes” to more work, it seems we are pre-programmed for it. We justify this by telling ourselves that we don’t necessarily know when the next referral is coming through our door. What is always saying “yes” costing you? Your clients? Your loved ones?

A simple google search provides you with the definition of balance “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady”. So, if you are awake an average of 16 hours/day and 8 hours/day is spent at work, by the very definition of balance, you should spend the other 8 hours of your day engaged in activities which replenishes and prepares you for a new day. How realistic is that?

Establishing equality amongst your many commitments is not an easy task (ever tried walking on a tightrope?). The figurative scales are constantly going to be encouraged one way or the other. Realistically, at times, you are going to have to allow for this to happen. HOWEVER, remaining too long in a state of imbalance can lead to fatigue, decreased mood, stress, burnout, etc.

Ten steps to re-balance the scales:

  • Set realistic goals – set financial goals for your work but also establish goals around how much time you would like to devote to yourself
  • Identify and prioritize your priorities – what tasks are “must do” and which ones are “would be nice too”
  • Set equal work and self-care priorities – if you are going to take on extra work then how much extra time can you afford to give to your self-care to replenish your energy
  • Get organized – make a schedule, be conservative with your time estimates to complete each task, be realistic about what you can and cannot manage, plan in advance (as much as you can), and keep a regular schedule (prescribe regular work hours for yourself)
  • Be flexible
  • Declutter – clean up your physical working space and/or move your working space to free you of unnecessary distractions
  • Set boundaries for yourself – respect your boundaries or no one else will
  • Practice saying “no”
  • Schedule breaks – self-care does not need to be quarantined to the end of your work day or over the weekend. Try to incorporate regular self-care practices for short periods throughout your day

LIVE IN CONSCIOUS AWARENESS AND PERFORM REGULAR AND TRUTHFUL CHECK INS




*The views expressed by our authors are personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCPA